#on a vacation week from work but have mainly stayed home and used that time to hammer out a lot of good editing stuff

[icantalk710]

Bit more on the quiet side the past week 😅

[trivialbob]

I am back home from vacation in Isla Mujeres. Sheila is staying a few more days. We know other visitors on the island. Sheila is hanging out with them this week.

The Island is a 25 minute ferry ride from Cancun. It is about tourism, but not at all like being inside an all-inclusive resort. Many folks we ran into visit Isla for several weeks at a time and stay in small condos or rooms.

(A bit long, with pictures, below the cut)

We rented a two-bedroom place in a small, four-unit building. It was at the north end of the island. That's where many of the American and Canadian visitors stay. But locals live there too. From our roof we could see the family next door, cooking and putting out their laundry to dry. Our door is the blue one in the bottom left picture.

Some US hotels I've been at lately don't offer daily changes of sheets and towels. "For the sake of the environment," ya know. Our modest place in Isla included fresh sheets and towels every day in addition to full room cleaning. It felt luxurious.

More local people live mid-island and to the south end. However, visitors rent places all over the narrow island. A couple we know has the equivalent of a studio apartment mid-island for two months at $600/month. A realtor would call it "Very cozy." I liked it.

That couple has bicycles they store there for when they come back each winter. They also rent a golf cart from time to time to drive around the island, as many visitors do. Some Americans and Canadians purchase places instead of renting. Some beautiful, modern houses dot the island.

One of the first things I did upon arrival was slather myself in SPF 50 sunscreen. My pasty white head and back made the soft, white beach sand look like black pepper in comparison. The sunscreen worked well. I have only one small patch of burned skin where I missed covering a spot on one ankle.

You won't find chain restaurants here. The few banks and gas stations have familiar names, but that's about it for big brands.

Warning signs are few and far between. Servers bring cold beer to the beach, in glass bottles. This was my fourth or fifth visit and Sheila's 12th. We've never seen or heard someone break a bottle. There are no lifeguards at beaches or pools.

When crossing roads, cars, golf carts, and scooters seem to have the right-of-way over pedestrians. Sidewalks are rough and uneven. You learn to be careful and pay attention. At times soldiers and police patrolled the streets with rifles. We felt secure the whole time, even while walking in dimly lit local neighborhoods.

One resort-like place where we hung out at for a few hours has a pool with concrete seats and tables in the water. A server, seeing me cooling off in the water, asked if I'd deliver a glass ashtray to four women sitting at table in the pool.

Smoking isn't allowed inside bars and restaurants, thank God. Unlike the US where that's just understood, there are some No Fumar signs posted in Isla businesses. I bet I didn't see more than a dozen people smoking the whole time I was there.

Touristy stuff is there if you want that. Two streets have vendors hawking t-shirts, magnets, and such. Scuba and fishing trips are available if that's your thing. Golf carts and scooters can be rented. Mainly I eat good food, drink relatively inexpensive drinks and cheap beer, read, and relax. Surprisingly though, I recorded 10,000 or more steps every day.

Many of the older buildings would make an American code inspector twitch with anxiety. Few stairs, even very steep ones, have railings. Nor do all the rooftops. Our place had a railing on top but the buildings next to us did not. A realtor might call those "Unencumbered terraces." I easily could have done one of those cop TV show stunts, jumping from building to building while chasing a perp down the block.

Try tracing these wires. Or finding the source of the water lines. A realtor might say "Plentiful utilities." We did have excellent water pressure, hot and cold. Just don't drink it.

Bathrooms in some bars and restaurants... oh my. An Applebee's is more sanitary, but then you are eating at Applebee's. About ten years ago one of Sheila's friends purchased a toilet seat with her own money and installed it herself in one of the island's bars she liked to frequent. She had developed some nice leg muscles from so much hovering. Life's trade-offs, right?

One bar's women's room has a lot of comments in Sharpie about Mark. Some female out there somewhere DOES NOT LIKE MARK. Apparently a frequent visitor to the island, she documents when bad thoughts of Mark cross her mind. The men's room offered some scribbles both for and against Mark. At our table a group of us sat around trying to come up with the story. It could have a chance at being a Netflix/Hulu movie.

We didn't cook. There are too many local places that are fun and tasty. In some parts of the island you can actually order a meal at someone's house and eat on their patio. I'll have a separate post later about how we hired local guy bring us to seven different places for food one night.

Several times we shared restaurant tables with other visitors, some we knew from previous visits, some total strangers. A couple from New Jersey wanted to sit on the patio at a restaurant Sheila and I like. All three outside tables were occupied. We had empty chairs at ours, so we invited them to join us and had a wonderful evening talking with them. The wife did sound a bit like Carmela Soprano. Her husband, however, did not make me remove my cap. Another restaurant had a cat you could pet during dinner at another place.

In addition to the restaurant cat there were sidewalk dogs. They putter around or relax on the warm pavement. People walk and drive around the dogs. I assure you that white dog in the right picture is just sleeping contentedly. I didn't use a flash, so I wouldn't disturb him. The little one on the left greeted me as I walked along the malecón on my way to a massage.

We played pickle ball while there. The courts were in the middle of an area with few tourists. All the players were Americans. I wonder what the local residents think of the game with the bright, plastic balls that go clink, clink, clink. That's me in the yellow hat (top left picture). The bottom two pictures are what was behind the courts.

I could get used to scooter life. Sheila has one at home, but it's engine is literally six times the size of what these ones here have.

Carnival celebrations began on Friday. Our place overlooked the town square, by the Catholic Church. It was fun to watch the celebration with the loud music and lots of people.

That got long! Enough for now.

[bonny-kookoo]

we all know you would make the saddest ✨️yoongi-kitty-flashback-scene✨️

:') [warnings for major angst, rather long drabble because I love them so much :( ]

Guilt is a heavy feeling.

Yoongi has always been an awfully private person, and so he's never really talked to anyone about what goes on at home. It's what he's been doing to keep himself sane, in a way; his work and private life have always been two separate things he never mixed up. It's also why he doesn't really let anyone of his coworkers he considers friends into his home- he keeps people at a comfortable distance, so to speak.

He cherishes his privacy. Needs that control over things.

Maybe if his friends had known about you, they could've helped. Especially Jungkook- maybe the hybrid specialist could've warned him about something, could've noticed anything he himself did not.

He remembers how angry he'd been that day.

His work had simply sucked the life out of him when he came home- two cardiac arrests he couldn't bring back during his shift in the ER, combined with the news that one of his patients in neurology had rapidly declined after barely making any improvements. It had made him feel like a failure, irritated, and frustrated about everything.

He knows you only wanted to help. He's never told you he needed you, always scoffed when you told him he'd be lost without your help.

But he does need you. And he wishes he could tell you now.

You always did that, almost with a sense of secrecy, as if he wouldn't know it's always been you. When he fell asleep on the couch, you'd get a blanket and a pillow to make it more comfortable. When he'd be too tired to make himself something to eat, you'd cook anything you knew you could while he would shower, and he always loved it, no matter how awfully simple it would be. And even though he knew you always wanted to do something with him like go on trips or vacations, you never complained when he just used his days off to sleep and laze around.

He loved you. He still loves you.

He remembers how he'd yelled at you in anger of himself and not you, how you'd just left him by himself like he wanted, the last sight of you up and walking one of faint hurt in your eyes as you'd left him on the living room couch to sleep. And when he woke up, you weren't there anymore.

He'd searched around the house for you, had panicked and ran out front to check the pool, but you were nowhere- until he found you on the kitchen floor, unmoving, unresponsive, cold to the touch.

And even in the ambulance he'd yelled at people, especially when the diagnosis fell that he himself refused to believe.

He knew it, deep down, that it was pretty cut and dry. Everything had pointed to exactly what the paramedics had suspected, and after weeks of you staying in this unresponsive state, and Jungkook continuously talking to him about your condition, he'd accepted it.

He had to.

There's no clear understanding yet as to why it happens only in hybrids. Medically, there's such limited research in it that it doesn't even have a name yet. All that's known is that similar to sudden infant death, hybrids fail to either properly wake up from deep sleep, or when awake, experience something similar to a brain stroke. But what exactly causes it isn't at all conclusive, mainly because it's extremely rare.

It's what makes it even worse to him.

No matter what treatment he comes up with, there's been almost no significant improvements. The only thing that really happened was, that you went from a coma into a persistent vegetative state- and he doesn't really know if he could really call it an improvement at all. You sometimes move, sigh, smile or even cry, and it claws at his heart every time he's witness of it.

But the worst time is when your eyes are open.

It makes him almost nauseous to see them look at nothing, dart around occasionally, without any soul behind them. They're lifeless, there's no consciousness behind them, no actual reasonable cause for them moving around. It's like your body is back, but your soul is still lost.

And he hates it. He wants you to come back.

"HR is bothering me again about taking days off." He mumbles to you, carefully brushing your hair today. It's barely becoming day outside, but he likes this time of day most. He won't be bothered until a few hours later when nurses come to care for you, check up on you and keep everything up to date. "I should maybe clean out the pool in the backyard... it's getting warmer these days now." The doctor says quietly. He does this a lot. He plays music other times, or simply talks about random things, or does things just like now- brushing your hair, touching your hand, has even brought blankets and pillows from home to you.

Jungkook said that it could help stimulate your awareness. And Yoongi is grabbing at any straw he can reach at this point.

"Remember how I hated that pool?" He chuckles, running the bristles of the pale pink brush over your scalp and through your hair- something that made you purr, before this had happened. "..I was actually scared, you know?" He admits softly. "I was scared that you might.. fall in and drown, when I'm at work. Because I dreamed it once." He shrugs, watching how you don't respond whatsoever. "I'll take more time off in the future, I promise." Yoongi tells you, exchanging the brush for his hand, fingers massaging the base of your cat ear on your head.

It's then that he notices something, against the tips of his fingers.

A soft almost unnoticeable vibration, causing him to immediately stand up from his chair, leaning in closer. If it is what he thinks it is, this might be an actual improvement worth investigating- but as soon as it was there, it's gone the moment he attempts to confirm it. "Come on, tell me you're coming back to me.." He pleads under his breath, disappointment hitting him hard as he rests his forehead against the side of yours, a kiss placed against your cheek. "I need you.."

And suddenly, it's there again, a little louder than before.

You're purring.

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

Older Men Are My Type

Roberu Yukoku x gender neutral reader Requested by: N/A ProofRead: N/A Genre: Smut Music: Vampire Party Clubbing Mix

Warnings: Age gap (both parties are adults!), sir kink, drinking, tipsy sex, reader calls Roberu Robe-chan (literally my fav nickname for him tbh), pretty vanilla stuff tbh, fingering (mainly for prep), romantic language, hint at a breeding kink (on Roberu's end) Summary: He's a family friend. A friend of a friend. There's nothing wrong with sharing a few drinks, right? There's nothing wrong with letting him stay over when he's too drunk to leave…right? Author's Note: Roberu is 29 years old. He and I have a 10 year age gap. I just wanted to use my daddy issues and my crush on older men to write something for Robe-chan.

-Mod Kenma

There was something about him that just made him so damn attractive. Maybe it was his fangs that would appear every time he laughed. Maybe it was his charming smile. Or maybe it was how whenever you walked into the room, he always had his full attention on you. The best word to describe Roberu was kind. He was someone you could turn to when things were getting hard. 

If someone were to ask you how you met him, you wouldn't have a reply. He was just always around, a friend of a friend perhaps? Your older cousins brought him around one day and he just never really left. He was the cool older man in your life that made you feel safe and respected, despite him being quite a few years older than you. He never babied you. 

Maybe that's why you fell for him. At first, it was nothing more than a small childish crush. You admired him a lot and wanted to be just like him. He had all the qualities you wanted in a significant other. You were a child then and didn't really know him. As you got older, this crush of yours developed into something much stronger, something you couldn't help but be embarrassed about. 

You made it your mission to get close to him. Whether it be by sitting next to him or visiting before his bar opened. Whenever a family member would call you out on your behavior, you'd simply reply with "Robe-chan is fun to talk to. I enjoy his company" before sticking your tongue out. Part of you felt as though he would only see you as that dumb little kid who was as reckless as they were adventurous. 

The gods decided to bless you with luck when you were informed that you would be alone at home for a week. Everyone was going on a vacation, leaving you alone. Not that you minded, you had your studies to work on and other adult things to do. As soon as everyone left, you texted your cousins, telling them you were going to be alone for the week.

You had all planned on drinking at your house, a casual get-together. They invited close family friends and partners, including Roberu. Just thinking about him made you flustered. You mentally slapped yourself before getting the house ready for your guests. 

Thankfully, you didn't have to buy any alcohol. Everyone came with a little something. Of course, Roberu brought the fanciest. "Robe-chan you need to stop showing us up~" You whined, plopping down on the couch next to him and taking the bottle out of his hand. He always brought something nice from his bar to share around. The bottle was plucked out of your hands by a cousin and taken to the kitchen. 

Drinks were passed around along with snacks. Catching up with everyone was nice. You all played board games, took dumb videos, and eventually just relaxed. Time passed by too quickly for your liking. You watched as people left one at a time, choosing to leave before they were too drunk to leave. Soon enough, it was just you and Roberu. 

The two of you sat on the couch, keeping a comfortable distance between the two of you. Roberu spoke of his coworkers and friends, mentioning jokes and hilarious stories. "Temma said he could hear us arguing all the way from his seat. I was sooo embarrassed at first but I was too busy trying not to shit myself to care when he told us." 

You laughed and leaned closer to Roberu, using him to steady yourself as you fought the onslaught of giggles leaving your lips. "I hope to meet your friends sometime. They seem stupid funny." You said, sitting up. Roberu looked at you with soft eyes and gave you a toothless smile. 

"I want you to meet them," He said, taking a sip of whatever was in his cup. "I think they'd find you cool, for sure!" You blushed and look away for a moment. Maybe it was the alcohol talking. "I mean if you say so." You finished your drink and let out a sigh. 

Roberu glanced at you before putting a hand on your thigh. You felt a chill go down your spine before leaning into his touch. His hand felt like fire, scorching through your pant leg and leaving an imprint on your skin. God, he was going to be the death of you. But if you died like this, there was no other way you'd like to go. 

You felt his hand trail up your thigh, stopping when his thumb could barely graze your clothed sex. Your breath hitched and you felt yourself tense up. "Would you believe me if I told you I wanted you?" Roberu muttered, staring off into whatever was in front of him. You let out a nervous chuckle. "I would believe it was the alcohol talking. But," Fuck it. "I would let you have your way with me." 

That was enough for him. He pushed you down onto the couch and kissed you. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. As Roberu pulled away, you whined and tried to follow his lips. A small string of saliva kept the two of you connected as you stole one more kiss away from the bartender. "Can't have enough of me?" He teased. You nodded with half-lidded eyes. "Never." 

Roberu began to leave wet kisses on your neck, nibbling here and there to get a reaction out of you. You squirmed and whined here and there, desperate for his touch. His warm hands slid up your shirt and caressed your sides. He detached his lips from your neck and he pulled your shirt off of you. He tossed it behind him somewhere and began to leave hickeys on your chest. Occasionally, he'd bite down a little, just enough to leave a mark for a day or two. 

His fangs just barely puncturing your skin made your back arch. "Mm-fuck~" You bit your lip to stop more embarrassing noises from coming out. Roberu's hands tugged on the waistband of your pants, seemingly begging you to take them off. You lifted up your hips slightly and allowed him to slip them off. "K-Kinda unfair that I'm the only one naked." You said, lightly yanking at his turtle neck. 

Roberu chuckled and removed it, allowing you to have full access to his rather toned chest. You had to stop yourself from drooling. You couldn't help but stare at the gold necklaces that dangled off of his neck. The color looked absolutely gorgeous next to his warm skin color. He peeled off your underwear to reveal your sex. He licked his lips before throwing his pants off. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this." He muttered into your ear. His fingers worked like magic to prep you. 

You mewled and whined, wanting more than just his fingers. He shushed you gently, whispering in your ear that you had to be patient. When Roberu deemed you prepared enough, he pushed off his boxers and pulled his cock out. He was just as you imagined him. He began to tease you. He rubbed the head of his cock against your hole. Your hips thrusted towards him, begging for him. 

Roberu chuckled at your eagerness and slowly entered himself inside of you. You gasped and let out a silent moan, trying to keep your breathing in check. "Deep breaths sweetheart. Deep breaths." He said, gently rubbing your hips. You let out a shaky breath and grabbed onto his biceps for support. "Y-Your so-fucking big~" The two of you froze for a moment, taking everything in. 

"A-Are we really doing this?" You wondered out loud. Roberu looked at you, confused for a moment before pressing the most gentle kiss imaginable on your cheek. "Is this too much for you?" He asked, ready to pull out. "No! If anything this isn't enough." You said, wrapping your legs around his waist. "I've liked you for way too long. I don't want this feeling to ever end." Roberu smiled and brushed some of your hair out of your face. "As you wish." 

His thrusts were slow and sensual. He made sure that every movement was filled with love. You felt as though you were on cloud nine. Having him here, with you, like this, was truly a gift from god. You babbled about how badly you wanted him for so long. Roberu would respond back with loving kisses and murmurs about how he wanted you the same. "I'm yours." He'd whisper into your ear, caging you in his arms. "And I'm yours." You said, throwing your head back slightly, overwhelmed by the knot aching in your stomach.

"I'm gonna fill you up, okay? I don't want you to waste a single drop." You nodded mindlessly and allowed yourself to let go. The two of you climaxed at the same time, moaning in unison. This was paradise.

[darkboysroadtrip]

I haven't had questions so I'm gonna use a random question generator

What's your favorite childhood story? (For everyone) -bubble

[I hope you're ready to read, it gets long.]

They're waiting for the cops [🤮] to show up when this comes in; everyone stiffens except Patton.

"I guess I'll go first" Patton says, "I feel like everyone might have more trouble thinking of something..."

"I have something too" Dee says.

"What ages count as childhood?" Virgil asks.

"I would think until thirteen? That's technically a teen" Patton points out.

"True but you're still a child until you're an adult" Logan says.

"For simplicity's sake let's stick with thirteen okay?" Virgil asks the group, they all agree.

"Okay!" Patton starts, "I have a lot of good memories of my childhood it was very fun, my parents even though divorced are still really great parents!"

"No need to rub it in" Virgil smirks.

The playful snark goes right over Patton's head, "oh no!" he shakes his hands around, "I wasn't trying to do that!"

"I'm fucking with you" Virgil responds and Patton visibly sags with relief.

"Oh yoooou" he wags his finger, "you you got me there!"

"Continue your story Pat" Virgil smiles, "I won't do it again."

"Okay! So it might not be super fantastic or anything but one of my favorite memories is actually when I was visiting with my dad for one of his weeks, and my step mom went into labor, I was maybe eleven at the time and it was laaaaate out so me, all burry eyes and half asleep was packed into the car with everything.

"I remember sitting in the front seat trying to figure out why my step mom wasn't and when I looked at her in the back seat she was taking up most of it and even through her hard breathing she smiled at me, I turned back around and just watched the lights blur past us.

"The hospital was quite calm when we got there, and since I couldn't be in the delivery room my dad sat out with me, we got snacks from the vending machines and I got to meet my new baby brother hours later, my mom did come pick me up though when morning came and we got breakfast."

"That was really sweet Patton" Dee says.

"You know me, big ol puff ball" he pokes his own cheek, "oh! Also when I was six my big sister took me to see a movie and we accidentally started a itty bitty, teensy tiny fire that came from a popcorn fight."

The group stare at him.

He smiles back at them.

"Nice!" Remus says, he holds up a hand for a high five - Patton enthusiastically smacks his hand.

"I suppose I'll go next if no one has anything to say at the moment?" Dee asks.

"Go ahead, I'm not sure I have much of anything, I'll go last." Virgil says.

Everyone else is pretty much on the same page.

"Alright, as everyone is probably expecting my favorite memories were always with my mother, and always when we weren't with or around my father.

"There isn't one moment I can choose from those memories to be a favorite, so I'll just say one.

"It was one of the many times we went camping, my mother as you all know was a very outdoorsy person, I haven't said before that she was a park ranger as well - she knew how to survive in the wilderness with basically nothing and she taught me as much as she was able before she was... before she died.

"Anyway, we were camping out in the deep part of the forest she ranged, she was obviously not working, but she loved being in the forest so much that her vacations were also spent there, and it was much better than staying at home with my father who did not like camping, any guesses as to why we went a lot" he chuckles humorlessly before continuing.

"This part of the forest was near somewhere my mother wanted to hike, it wasn't a trail many people went on, barely even knew about so we didn't come by any people, there was however a lot of wildlife, we stopped to watch when possible, everything was so beautiful and calm.

"It took a long time to get to where we were hiking mainly because we stopped a lot, but each moment was fun, even when I fell and hurt my knees and palms.

"Our destination was at a waterfall, it wasn't huge and grand but it was gorgeous and magnificent in its own regards, it flowed into a lake that was clear enough to see the bottom and that lake flowed into a small river.

"We had a picnic there, we went swimming, we waded through the little river to see small creatures and we found a cave behind that shimmering waterfall.

"It was all very magical for an eleven year old, and also the last trip we went on."

"Aw, I might cry" Patton says.

"Please don't" Dee replies.

Patton sniffles, "okay" he nods.

"Who's next?" Dee looks at everyone.

"I suppose I am" Logan says, "I don't have much to tell however, my childhood was mostly at the orphanage, I didn't get along with the other children or any families or couples that came by, but I did have one friend, she wasn't there for long but it was nice while she was.

"As I have said before, I mainly liked to stay indoors to read and learn anything I was able to get my little hands on, until Clem came -short for Clementine- she was rambunctious and wild, always had a smile on and liked to say she was a witch, maybe she was.

"For some reason she took a liking to me, she also liked to learn things I guess that may have been it but she would drag me outside to teach me things I couldn't be taught in books. Those were my happiest childhood memories."

"Okay I already knew this but it is so tragic every time I hear it" Roman says, "you were such a sad little child!"

Logan looks at Roman, "I didn't say I had a sad childhood, I just said I didn't have much else to say about it."

"Uh yeah" Roman starts, he gesticulates his arms around, "ergo: sad childhood."

"I don't know where you got that from."

Roman makes a face of disbelief, "from everything you say about it?"

"I never say I'm sad in any of those stories though."

Roman pauses, "I... suppose you don't, huh alright then, shall I continue this story train?"

"Go right on ahead" Logan replies.

"I think Remus and I might have the same answer?" He looks over to Remus questioning.

"Well if it's the Abigail Thing then not even close bro!"

Everyone is silent, they're looking at Remus and they're not sure how to respond.

"Jeeze!" Remus says flapping his hand in dismissal, "you'd think none of ya have ever heard about coping with trauma with jokes before!"

"I'm... I'm just going to say my story" Roman says.

"Ahh figures" Remus mumbles.

"As I was saying, mine would have to be when Mom and Dad left us alone with the nanny for the weekend, and she was mostly preoccupied with Abigail, her being like two to our five, because sure five year olds don't need any supervision! But I digress!

"Remus and I were outside -as we tended to like to be- when we saw a mangy mutt walking around our property, now we had fences and gates so this huge mongrel wouldn't be able to get in - without our help that is."

"Oh, no you're right this is my favorite too" Remus interjects, "we both fell in love with this huge slobbery beast, and we needed it to be ours!"

"Precisely!" Roman agrees, "so while Remus kept the dog occupied with whatever snacks we had with us I went in to find the remote for the gates!"

"Oh man that dog was hungry!" Remus laughs, "I remember luring it to the gate with bits of snacks, while you were inside, my whole arm was covered in slobber!"

"Your whole you was covered in slobber" Roman says.

"Haha, yeeeeeah. But! We did get him in and closed the gate so he couldn't leave, then we snuck him into the guest house so he could have his own place."

"Our parents didn't find out about him for weeks" Roman says.

"Weeks!" Remus repeats, "we fed him all kinds of stuff, that guest house was a mess! We barely cleaned up after him, we'd let him out a lot though, our parents were barely home any way."

"What happened to him?" Patton asks.

"Oh, uh... I'm not entirely sure" Roman admits.

"I just remember us crying a lot when they said that we couldn't keep him" Remus says, "they didn't tell us what they did with him."

"I hope he was alright" Patton says.

"Me too" Roman agrees, "but it's Virgil's turn! You got anything yet buddy?"

Virgil's face scrunches around, "I guess? Man, I had a very rigid childhood, my parents laid out all of my days and scheduled my whole life. We were very well off, almost as rich as the disaster twins over there" he chuckles, "and my parents tried to always be above everyone else so they were very hard on me being 'thier perfect little princess'" he scoffs.

"I didn't get to do anything I wanted until boarding school and I was twelve when that happened so... That may just be it, getting out of that oppressive house."

"Oh wait" he says before the silence can dig into everyone, "there was this one time, I met my aunt at a funeral for some relative I've never even heard about - she was cool and because she was cool my mother never wanted me to be around her again.

"I didn't even know she existed until that moment, apparently she's a little estranged from the family for her 'wild and carefree nature' or something, but despite being at a funeral that was the first time I was able to be myself and actually have a good time considering my parents were too busy to focus on much else than gaining social points."

"Okay, now that" Roman says, "was sad, and no one can tell me otherwise."

Virgil shrugs, "you're right."

Right in perfect timing of everyone telling their little tales, several cars park around the property.

The authorities are here.

[shenxcole]

"Independence Unveiled"

In your first year or freshman year in college you will encounter the word "Independence", being dependent on yourself not with others nor your family. As a first year and soon to be in my 20's I managed to handle some things on my own just like money. This year or the past year 2023 make me realize that money can be indeed your happiness, you can buy things you need such as things for yourself, go to places with friends, and buy foods you want.

(Gala with friends- Mang Inasal)

I make my first money last year September that's when my Tita gave me my first salary in helping them with their business, it's 300 pesos for 3 days 100 pesos per day. Although it's not that big, I was happy because in my vacation time or when me having break from school I get to have something to do and at the same time I can help and gain money from it.

My Tita's business is more likely about foods, dishes and the all time favorite and their signature "okoy" they also have lumpiang shanghai and toge. As low as 10 pesos you can afford toge and okoy, for Shanghai five pesos each and for the dishes 60 or 70 for each order. People become their loyal customer as we sell affordable foods and of course because the ones selling was like to talk and be friendly to her customers (she's my Tita-Ditse). The business was the primary source of income in the family.

(Okoy, one of our dishes and the best seller among them)

We usually make the selling or pagtitinda 4 times in a week mainly Thursday to Sunday. Thursday and Saturday in the market of Pulilan, Friday on the Bocaue market and Sunday on Soldier of Christ also in Pulilan. But because I have class most of the time when I am free that's only the time when I can go with them and In this second sem I got my free time or free day in Thursday and the weekends.

I will start my day by waking up most of the time 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning to fix myself, brush my hair, brushing my teeth, etc. and to help haul things that will be used for selling just like the okoy mixture, the vinegar for okoy, and different dishes. Then after we will leave immediately to go to the market (Thursday and Saturday) and will haul again to our place (in the market), things will be arranged and cooking will begin immediately. I am the one assigned on cooking the "okoy" alongside with my sister and my cousin. In cooking the okoy we are using two woke, the first woke for the okoy that been mold from saucer to be not direct on heat then after a minute when the okoy rise from the oil the okoy will be transferred to the another woke to be fully cooked. Most of the time we start 5 in the morning and end after or before lunch, we have our own transportation so it's not a problem anymore.

(A picture of me cooking "okoy" in a Thursday set, also watch my first ever Vlog about it here check the link: https://youtu.be/bgrkrcixdu0?feature=shared, enjoy!!)

Although the work occupied most of my rest day I still able to find time to rest and enjoy. And as a first year whom have also needed money it help me a lot, I have extra money for lunch or even gala's with my friends, I can also have extra money to be lend to my friend when she run out of money, or I can use it when time comes and money is really needed such as projects or activities. That's why using my free day to work and earn money is better rather than just stay at home and do nothing, I can help them and at the same time earn money that I can use for my living, it's a win win situation but it is in you what situation you should take to win.

(A pabasa program for kids in Gk Village , A successful activity of BSED 1-B)

[tommymaddox]

Tommy doesn't counter, he doesn't want to jinx it. Even if its a joke he feels its testing fate to say otherwise, that Jace might have faced countless battles (literally and figuratively) but Merrock would be where he comes to an end. "Oh yeah, I forgot about you and Brooksie." Years long passed, details that felt unnecessary lost. "Deacon is still a kid if that helps." As much as Tommy belittles the mans behaviours he'd almost forgotten how much younger Deacon was compared. "I'm trying the whole controlling my own life tactic right now, but maybe one day I'll let her go crazy with power." The question has him rubbing sweaty hands onto his jeans. "Just friends." Recently confusing friends but that was all Tommy could let it be.

Tommy would say he is the closest to carefree as he was going to get - mainly because his day wasn't structured by a standard job like most others have. He tended to work things out as they came, but his environment was well designed around him to provide that space to do so. To be truly carefree felt unobtainable, like something they talk about in fairytales because it could never truly exist in reality. "We didn't exactly have a carefree childhood either, or carefree parents for that matter." Maybe if they'd grown up in different environments they'd have a chance at it. "You know, if you arrived sooner you would have loved life. Volunteer week is still a thing," he shares. "Had us all planting trees together. You've probably seen them all around."

"Yeah?" Family vacation. That was something Tommy hadn't been on for years, perhaps since he was married. Obviously he'd travelled on his own since but not in a family environment, something he realises now he had been missing. "I'd like that." Whether it was to know why Jace stayed or simply be alongside Jace and Cordelia, hopefully little Rosalyn too. "Mmm." Their parents certainly didn't advertise the tie break. Tommy guesses by that point he wasn't his parents favourite either, but the idea of any of the kids cutting ties was not yet something he had considered. "It was more than enough," he says it because he knows his father never would have, and sometimes you need to hear things even when you know they are true already. "Sometimes I want to be a fly on the wall after a day of people asking about their kids. They don't know a single thing about us, and if they did they heard it from someone else. Amazes me given how much they cared about image and how easily it would crumble if even one of us said something."

Tommy looks down as he smiles, listening to the story of the photograph. He wonders when it was taken, how little they were in it. Once upon a time they'd been attached to one another, playing in mud and racing home to get the last popsicle in the fridge. "Guess we were with you all along." The thought healed something inside of him. "This is the same girl whose probably been planning her wedding day since she could walk. Your khakis will be burned before you're allowed to wear them." He laughs along with his brother, trying to imagine how Jace could get away with such casualwear. "Good, good, though you could also direct Cordelia towards anyone in power - she's scary when she's angry."

It's not easy baring your weak spots in front of people. At the beginning of this Tommy had been ready to puff up his chest, to be seen as something unbroken and unburdened. He didn't want to look weak or show the way he'd let his life go since their last encourager. It was an ego thing, one he had let slip away as they'd spoken, pulling layers back with honesty and a bond that came long before they were the men they are today. He appreciated the comforting hand on his shoulder, the fact that Jace was so ready to reach out to him after so much time had past. It makes his hands itch to pull Jace in for a hug, but their positioning is odd and he worries that's too much. "Thanks man, it's taken a lot of work to get where I am. Not at the finish line yet but I think I'm functioning a lot better now."

"It's great in the warmer months, not so much in winter." Tommy could typically kept his in storage during the colder months, preferring the heating in his car along with the extra wheels against icy roads. "Keep it up and I might just have to burry you in these woods," he jokes, nodding to the dog by his feet "Rue can start the digging."

That stole a grin from Jace as he felt Tommy shove against his shoulder, unable to help it. Somehow, it felt right, like two teenagers fighting over a football in the yard, or arguing about who should have to clean up the dishes next. Or two brothers who were sitting on a log in the forest after twenty years, trying to piece things back together in their lives. "Please, I'm immortal," he rolled his eyes, an overdone gesture, and a lie that he knew he didn't believe in. Not for someone who had been to war, come face to face with wild animals, hurled himself into burning buildings, but to use it to tease his brother? That, he could do. "Kellan," he shook his head, "Deacon was just a kid when I left. Kellan and I went head to head in soccer and that kid ran circles around me, so I hated him," he laughed at the thought now, knowing that twenty years later, it seemed like such a silly reason to dislike someone. "Might wanna give it a go," he laughed. "She could end up getting you right on the track you need to be on. Is there anything like… there there, or just friends?"

There was so much that Jason had learned, whether it be from the army, college, his time in the parks, his time training to become a firefighter, training to become a ranger, it felt like it never ended. But he had thrived on it. He had loved the idea of learning something new, becoming someone else, picking up skills that he never thought he would have been able to hone in on. Carefree, though, wasn't him. "I kind of wish I could be," he shook his head, "like the kind of person that just goes through life without a plan. Even living in a camper in a state park, I still feel like I was pretty regimented to my schedule, do all my jobs by the book, you know? They drilled that into me pretty good," and it wasn't an easy habit to shake. "Community and just making the world a better place, I guess. Or trying to."

Looking over at his brother, he offered him a small smile as he told him that he didn't have to be alone, no matter what happened, nodding his head. "I'm not going anywhere," at least it wasn't in his plans. A part of Jason had always knew that he would come home, settle down again, find himself living in the pine trees, but he just hadn't known when. Then the moment came that he was gassing up the Jeep to head home, and he knew with certainty that he wouldn't be going back to Wyoming. At least not permanently. "But I'd love to take you and Cordelia there sometime," he offered, tilting his head a bit. "Little family vacation sometime. I think if you saw it, you'd understand why I stayed," if he stood in the middle of a field and listened to nothing and everything at the same time, or gazed down into a crystal clear stream. His thoughts were pulled away from nature and possible family bonding trips to their parents, letting out a laugh, "no." It seemed like the simplest answer, but he realized that Tommy probably didn't know that he hadn't talked to their parents in years, didn't really have all that much to do with them. "I cut ties after dad made no secret of the fact that he was disappointed in me for not reenlisting. Like six years of my life fighting a war I didn't ask for wasn't enough." After that, he hadn't cared all that much to stay in touch with his parents, to keep them in the loop on his life. "So for what it's worth, I didn't get a newsletter, either."

Jason snorted a soft laugh as Tommy acknowledges that he wasn't made for war, shaking his head. "I don't think most people are," and the silent, unspoken part. 'I don't think that I was, either.' But he had done it, and he had come out the other side with his life and more life experience than he had ever bargained for, and he supposed there was something to be proud of tangled up in all of that. "Thank you," he responded finally, when Tommy relented that he was glad that he had gotten what he had needed, what he had wanted in his life in that moment. "But for what it's worth, it's not like I didn't miss you guys. You and Delia," his expression softened, shrugging both shoulders. He hadn't just moved away and forgotten them, acted like they didn't exist. "I kept a little picture of you guys with me, of the three of us playing in the creek. I still have it, actually, once I got out I framed it and I keep it in the camper." It was nice to have the one reminder of home that hadn't driven him up the wall, made him never want to go bac. He was reminded of the things that he missed, and let out a breathy laugh when Tommy mentioned attending a wedding, "think I'm going to have to wear a suit? Or does Delia still love me enough she'll let me get away with like, khakis?" but he laughed as he said it, knowing it was doomed. "Don't worry. There's what, two law firms in town? I'll get you out of trouble."

Nodding his head solemnly at his brother's apology, he knew that it meant a lot, that it was the kind of thing that people didn't often talk about, because they didn't understand. And he didn't want anyone to understand -- because it was exactly the kind of thing that he didn't want anyone to have to go through. As his brother began to talk about being an alcoholic, struggling with the breakdowns and the fact that he had to pick himself back up afterwards, he knew that it was a battle he couldn't understand. But he had a lot of friends who had. "A lot of guys in the service go down that road after… everything. I went to a few groups for a while, and a lot of people there dealt with it, and I know that it's a tough road," he lifted his hand, hesitating before gently placing it on his brother's shoulder and squeezing, "but I also know that you're one tough son of a bitch, and if someone can get through all of that and come out the other side, it'll be you." Whether that meant meetings, cutting back, rehab, whatever it was that he felt he needed. "I'm glad that you're talking to someone, sometimes that's the biggest thing you can do."

Letting out a soft laugh when Tommy mentioned hooking him up with Josh, he nodded. "We'll see how adventurous I'm feeling. There'd be worse ways to get around town than a bike, though," even though his Jeep was nice and sturdy, got the job done. Especially hauling his camper. He had wanted to come home and make some changes, after all. But he couldn't go too far down the beaten path of thinking about revving any engines and hitting the road. "You have to get a little bit older first," he reminded him, bumping his shoulder into his brother's. "Not quite fifty, though -- I don't want to risk you shoving me off this log."

[piratesfromspace]

Finance Management (Deckard Shaw/Reader)

Deckard Shaw (Fast & Furious) x Reader

Word count: 1.9k CW: mention of food & alcohol, smut

Female reader

Note: This short fic has been inspired by a friend of mine who created the character of the financial advisor of mister Shaw.  Also there is not enough fics with Deckard Shaw so here we are. 

Read on Ao3

MASTERLIST

“Mister Shaw, it’s me again, I’m so sorry but I really need you to call me back please. It’s important. Thank you.”

You let out a deep sigh as you hang up. Handling the finances of rich people is a lucrative and thrilling job, but damn it sometimes those clients of yours are annoying. Especially Mister Shaw.

First, he’s annoyingly busy and unreachable. Most powerful people are, but he can disappear for weeks on end without so much as sending an email.

Second, he’s also infuriatingly handsome and smart and funny. And he has an impeccable sense of style. He has nothing in common with the other clients of your firm, mainly old and boring men, whose only conversation subject is their money and how they hate their wives.

And finally, the worst thing about him is how good of a lover he is. You found out half a year ago, when you ended up in his bed after what should have been a regular business dinner. It was a mistake of course. One that could have cost you your career because it was a very serious breach of contract to sleep with a client.

You never told a soul, and you promised yourself to never do it again. But it was still hard to forget the feeling of him pressed against you, of his hands holding your waist, of his mouth between your thighs...

You try to focus again on your task and stretch your legs, kicking out your high heels. Feet bare on the soft carpet, you walk to the floor-to-ceiling window of your posh office, taking a second to admire the view, as the final rays of the sun disappear over the lake, and Geneva lights up under you. It’s breath-taking, really. But it also means you’re once again staying way too late at the office. Your assistant has gone home a couple hours ago, and your colleagues are either on vacation or on business trips, making you the only person on the building’s 7th floor. You still have a few things to finish so you plop on your leather chair and get back to work, hoping to make it home before 11pm.

That’s when you hear it: the familiar *ding* of the elevator’s door, at the end of the corridor. You tense immediately. You’re not waiting for anyone, and the security guards always use the stairs when completing their patrol.

Steps are coming down your way, and you grab your phone, ready to dial for the security team. And then you recognize his silhouette through the polished glass wall. There is a knock on your door before it opens to reveal Deckard Shaw himself. He’s wearing an expensive suit and an even more expensive watch, a very light stubble is highlighting his perfect jawbone and his deep grey eyes bear a mischievous glint. Handsome, as always.

“Mister Shaw…” you stammer.

“You know you can call me Deckard.” His stupidly sexy British accent and cocky smile will be the death of you.

He’s been in your office for two seconds and you already want to slap him in the face - or climb him like a tree, you can’t really decide.

“It’s quite late, Mister Shaw, you scared me. Anything I can do for you?” you insist on saying his family name, in a feeble attempt to maintain a professional façade.

“You needed to see me.” it’s more a comment than a question, and you’re suddenly reminded of the dozen of unanswered phone calls you made trying to reach him.

“Yes… yes, that’s right, but honestly you could have called tomorrow morning.”

“I’d rather see you in person.” he answers, looking you straight in the eyes. You can feel yourself blushing under his gaze. “Wanted to make sure you’re alright. You’re working too much you know.” he says with a soft smile, as his eyes drift down to your sore bare feet and then to the discarded heels under your desk.

What a condescending prick, you think. But at the same time, he’s right and his care seems somewhat genuine. It will not make you forget you almost lost your job because of him though.

“How did you know I was still here tonight?” you purposely redirect the attention on him, rather than you.

“Well, let’s say I would not leave the woman in charge of my assets without any... supervision.”

“Is that a polite way to say you’ve been spying on me?” you retort dryly.

“Oh I love when you’re getting all angry and snobbish, your French accent is even cuter.”

You’re gonna murder him. You really really want to tell him to go fuck himself, but he’s the one responsible for a very generous part of your paycheck, so you have to keep quiet.

“I would be more comfortable if we keep our conversation strictly professional, Mister Shaw.”

“Everything you want, dear.”

-----

“Mmph, fu-ck... Deckard, don’t stop”

The professional attitude has been long forgotten, since Deckard has pulled you onto his lap on the velvet couch of his presidential suite at the Four Seasons hotel, where you were supposed to only review the important documents he needed to see. But when the room service had brought a very nice bottle of Scotch, you knew you were screwed. You could not refuse a drink, and the warmth of alcohol combined with the warmth of his hand slightly brushing against your thigh had overcome all your resolve.

You are now sprawled on the king-size bed, moaning his name as Deckard Shaw is destroying your sanity very methodically. One foot on the floor, one leg bent on the edge of the bed, he’s pounding into you, holding your hip with one hand, and circling your clit with the other. His pace is calculated, not too fast so you can feel every inch of him, but not too slow so your nerves don’t have any respite, and it’s driving you crazy. Hands tangled in the dark silk sheets beneath you, you try to catch your breath to no avail.

“I won’t stop darling. Not until I can feel you coming again all over me.” His voice is like heavy honey, dripping all over your senses, drowning you in sweet and sinful promises.

You want to close your eyes to focus on the overwhelming feelings, but the view in front of you is too good to be missed. He looks like some demi-god, bathed in the subdued light of the room, broad and muscular chest, abs perfectly drawn. What is his job again? You vaguely remember him talking about serving a few years in the military when he was younger, but he is still definitely hitting the gym on a regular basis.

His muscles flex when he brings you down on his thick cock a little more sharply than before, and you keen as he hits that perfect spot inside of you. You can feel your orgasm build again, and so can he.

“You’re close, princess, aren’t you?”

You mewl in response and he chuckles darkly, keeping up with his ruthless assault on your most sensitive parts. He angles his fingers just a bit differently on your clit, and keeps thrusting into you, stretching you so perfectly you can’t remember the last time someone fucked you this good - wait , actually you can, it was a few months ago and it was by mister Deckard “annoyingly perfect” Shaw.

“Come on, I know you want to, I’ll keep going until you give me one more anyway princess…”

And that's it. You’re gone. Back arching off the bed, you come hard, harder than the first time, clenching around him. You barely hear him hiss in pleasure as you spasm helplessly on the soft sheets, the silk feeling almost cool against your burning skin.

----

“Good morning darling."

You open an eye, natural light is flooding the room, as is the delicious smell of fresh coffee and tea. At the foot of the bed, you spot a room service trolley loaded with breakfast treats and through the open door of the bathroom, you can see Deckard is looking at you in the mirror reflection while buttoning a crisp white shirt.

"Your tea is ready. Black, no milk, right?”

He's right and it's annoying because is there anything this man messes up?

"What time is it?" You ask, suddenly remembering you have a busy schedule today.

"You have 27 minutes to eat and get ready, so I can drop you off at your office in time for your first call of the day."

He knows about your tea preferences and your professional agenda, of course he does , he was not joking when mentioning the whole "spying-on-you" situation, or "supervision" as he liked to call it. He needs to stop it, but you decide to keep this discussion for another day.

You stretch, and rise to put on the hotel bathrobe, sighing at the thought of having to wear the same clothes as yesterday. Last you saw them, they were scattered on the floor all over the room and your underwear were positively ruined.

"The concierge was very helpful this morning, thanks to him I got you a few clothes delivered for today." Deckard adds as he pours himself a cup of coffee from the cart and gestures to the leather armchair where a couple of bags doning logos of luxury brands are perched.

You make your way to the packages, and open the first one to reveal a sophisticated dress, fitted and sexy, but not too much that it would be inappropriate as office wear. The second bag is a thoughtful selection of high end make-up products. And the last one contains a gorgeous set of lacy lingerie, nothing too raunchy but sexy nonetheless. Of course everything is in the right size.

"Thank you..." you whisper, a little stunned. The assortment must have cost him a couple grands at the very least - not that he can't afford it because you're well placed to be sure he can, but still, he did not have to do this.

You have to suppress a smile, because damn he's being annoyingly perfect once more, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction to reveal he was right when promising you could stay the night instead of going home and still look fresh for your day at work.

"I was thinking, I'm free tonight, so maybe we can finally review those documents, you know the ones you were supposed to show me before you jumped on me on the couch last night?" Deckard states as he bites in an apple in front of the window, casually looking at lake Geneva glinting in the bright morning sun.

You blush unwillingly, struggling to find a reply that would save you from admitting you had failed at enforcing your usual work ethic.

"I'm kidding dear!" He barks in a laugh. "I know enough to trust you on this venture, you have my approval to go on with the investment." He continues more seriously.

You open your mouth to answer but he's quicker.

"I'm not kidding about being free though, so what about dinner and then we can see where this takes us…"

When you don't answer immediately, he turns to look at you. Maybe he's realizing the situation can be awkward and precarious for you since you're technically working for him.

"You can say no, I won't take any offense." He adds without irony.

"Yes..." You finally answer, tip toeing toward him until you can snatch the apple he was eating from him. He protests but you shush him.

"...Yes, I would like this very much..."

As he starts to protest again, you take a big bite from the fruit with a knowing smile.

"...but only for dinner. Nothing more."

"You'll be the death of me." Deckard says, falsely irritated, his voice dropping lower.

"At least the feeling is mutual, mister Shaw ..."

[57greenstreet]

Gossip Guy podcast with Willem De Schryver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYjtRYOGS00

translated by @jackfrostsander @bruisingknees @lblogss @yousmina and me :)

-

E: I do have another present for you.

W: Oei oei oei, presents.

E: I do that every week. I give something to my guest of the week.

W: Oei oei oei. Do I slide it?

E: Here in the front is a flap that you have to fold upwards…

[Intro]

E: Wassup people, welcome to a new episode of the Gossip Guy podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Willem De Schryver. Everything ok?

W: Sure sure (In Dutch sure is used as a confirmation to a question).

E: Is this your first podcast?

W: Yes, this is my first podcast.

E: Stress?

W: No, it will be fine, right? Relaxed.

E: I don’t know… (laughing). For the people who don’t recognize you, from where could they know you?

W: Hmmm, probably from the youth series WTFOCK where, in the third season, I play the role of Sander.

E: And we are allowed to talk about it in this podcast.

W: Yeah I also heard that. Yes, it’s over.

E: Was it a difficult chapter of your life to close?

W: Yes, I still clearly remember the last moment… Like really the last last scene at the sea… That was an emotional moment because you went through a lot as a group, you did a lot together, and emotional scenes, intimate scenes. But yes, I think, if I speak for the whole group that it was a goodbye to the series but not a goodbye from each other. We still keep in contact. Mainly through WhatsApp.

E: Yeah, the end of the series was beautiful. I sat next to my girlfriend when it just came online. Because there were a few scenes that we hadn’t seen yet and we were just watching them… And we refreshed and the last episode was online… The last piece was online… So, I thought… I really cried… It caused quite some emotions.

W: For many people… Also under the cast and even the extras that were present for that last scene… Even among them. I can remember that they got emotional because it really was over over. I think that we, WTFOCK, have been able to impact a lot of young people in Belgium. So, it’s beautiful… We closed it beautifully…

E: I don’t doubt that. I really liked the end. What is your favorite memory from your whole WTFOCK experience?

W: Hoh, hmmm. Do I have to choose one? Difficult to choose one… I think that the most enjoyable moments… At the end of each series… Almost… We were at the sea or in the Ardennes, as a group, for a vacation. Away together. And those moments… Away with the whole cast and crew… Being away for a whole weekend. And in the evening, talking late into the night and that creates a special connection and I think that, in general, was the most enjoyable… Yes, it affects me… You share, as a young person, a common dream or something we want to realize as an actor to succeed and everyone who works so hard for that… That’s nice to see.

E: I recently talked to Veerle and I know that if she sees Nora, like somewhere, say at a party… Then they stay together for the whole evening… Do you have that? With who did you have the best connection throughout that whole experience?

W: Yes…

E: That doesn’t mean that the rest is not chill or so…

W: No the rest is all stupid… There’s only one person… I hate you all! (joking) No! Yes, hmmm, I think that I definitely have the best connection with Willem. Just because we have been through a lot… I always compare the WTFOCK crew a bit to my own friend group, aside from the cast. I mean, I know to whom I can go for what. I know I can go to some if I feel sad, to talk and I know who I can go to to have a laugh. And who I can go to to have a general chat. And everyone has their qualities or like their own aura around them… Where I love to hang around. So, it differs from person to person. So, it’s hard to choose one person but Willem then in the sense that, if you jump naked together in a swimming pool and if you have intimate scenes together… That creates a connection, of course. So, yes, if I have to choose one person…

E: Is there a barrier that you have to overcome to play such scenes? Because they are very intimate, indeed. And I, personally, couldn’t imagine… I can’t act… But, to empathize with a role… To play such scenes… Is that difficult for you?

W: Huh, yes, that’s a question I get often. I mean like… Yeah and you have to empathize with that character… But yes, you step into that project with a certain professionalism and you say “okay, we are going to create a story and bring it to the public with certain values and that we want to tell something and show something” …So, yes, you don’t really think about it. So, it’s not like I thought “Ooooo, I am kissing with a boy but I am interested in girls”. That was not a problem for me because it really is about telling the story and making that together and if the story requires that then you just completely go for it.

E: That’s cool. What are your future acting ambitions? You now have played in a series, is that something you want to do more in the future or do you like theatre more or movie or…

W: I find it difficult to choose between theatre and film, for example. After WTFOCK I played in Déjà Vu, which you can see on Streamz and later this year on Channel 4… And I study theatre at KASK. And I notice the difference, due to the recordings, I am really in the field and I am busy and I work, while at school I learn new things about theatre… So, in my opinion I have more experience in television work because I actually have done projects for that and I haven’t yet for theatre, which is still school and learning. So, I think it’s currently hard to choose but I think, maybe it’s a cliché answer, but the combination is maybe ideal, of course. But I am still exploring and I will see how it goes…

7:02

E: What is your favorite food?

W: My favorite food?

E: Yes.

W: Hmmmm, in the past I was really a basic guy… Like spaghetti bolognese or so… But now, generally after my exams, I go to a restaurant with my grandma. She always buys. That’s always amazing. I am a fan. And I always take steak tartare with fries. That remains a bit of a guilty pleasure.

E: How long, do you think, would it take you to eat five full plates of spaghetti bolognese?

W: Hoh, hmmm. The thing is, my stomach is rather small…

E: Small?

W: I think that I would have to schedule in… Okay, after a certain time I would have to throw up and then eating further…

E: You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to say… Okay, I take a few days…

W: No, no, not that…

E: You’re going to do it in a day?

W: Look, two plates… Three if I really push…

E: You get preparation time so you know like a week before… So, you can like…

W: Train yourself?

E: Yes, train…

W: Hoh, alee say about four hours…

E: Four hours?! Five plates, he? Like five really big plates…

W: Yeah but yeah, four minutes… I am exaggerating… Let’s say a day… In a day five plates…

E: Ok, that should work. Then you basically have every meal… Breakfast… Lunch… Dinner… and in between… pasta…

W: Pasta as breakfast…

E: One day should definitely be feasible.

W: Yes, indeed.

8:49

E: What is, according to you, the reason you were placed on this planet?

W: Fuck (laughs).

E: Existential crisis, okay? Have you never thought about what the purpose of life is and what…

W: Yes, certainly… Hmmm, I'm someone who worries a lot. When I'm in bed in the evening I start to think about questions like that and then I think “what am I doing? Willem… where do I want to go to and…” Hmmm, why was I put on this planet? Hmmmm… (speechless followed by laughing). This is really bad… It’s like I don’t value myself…

E: Noooo, but I didn’t expect a deep philosophical answer. Well, if you had one… really good but…

W: Okay I’m going to think about my philosophical answer… but no. If you want… No! Yes, now I'm really going to sound philosophical but… (crosstalk) Everyone who is on earth has a certain reason to be here and everyone… I for example have that… I really feel that… I never liked going to school. Especially, in lower and high school. I… I actually, on purpose, put my fingers in my throat in the morning to throw up…

E: Wow, that’s heavy…

W: And then going downstairs to say “papa I’m ill, can I stay home?” I don’t know why but that whole system… Sitting behind a desk all day… And those classes… that was not for me. And then I discovered my passion for acting and discovered that it really suited me. And that’s the thing… A lot of people often ask me like “how did you start?” and “I also would like to do that and where do I start and I have been rejected does that mean I am not good enough?” but I think that sometimes you shouldn’t rush to find your passion. It can take longer then you would like it to take. I think that if you too intensively search for "what am I good at?" and “I have to find something that I am good at” and… For me that’s happened unexpectedly. I did take acting classes on Wednesday afternoons after school and I kind of got into it like that… I think it differs for everyone and that everyone has their own purpose here on earth.

E: And would you say your purpose is acting?

W: Yeah…

E: There isn’t a right answer but how does it feel for you at the moment? Is that the thing you love doing the most or do you see yourself doing for a long time?

W: The thing is… I’m a person who gets tired of things very quickly. I’ve had a lot of hobbies.

E: So maybe next week you want to garden or something?

W: No, no I wouldn’t say that. No the thing is, with acting that isn’t the case. Since I was twelve… well first on amateur level…

E: How old are you now?

W: 19.

E: Oh wow I thought you were my age. 19… damn bro you’re three years younger than me.

W: 2001 represent.

E: That’s literally… you’re the same age as my brother! What the shit. Alright, no okay.

W: In November so almost 2002. I’m really a latecomer.

E: What?! You look like you’re the same age as me and everything.

12:14

W: But that’s honestly – thank you for saying that! I always used to be the “little guy.” None of the girls wanted to be with me cause they just thought I was cute.

E: I see.

W: And they came to me to talk about their love lives.

E: Oh, okay.

W: So I was always that guy who was like: “I’m in love with you.” “Oh, how cute! You’re so cute!” So I was always like: “Okay then, I’m never going to find anyone, I’m always going to stay… short. I’ll be all alone.” And then all of a sudden I –

E: Do you think height matters in regard to your chances with certain… people?

W: At this age I don’t think it does anymore, but I do think that – I think at – I just remember in high school that the romantic idea of what love was supposed to look like was very: a boy and a girl, and the boy has to be taller and stronger and bigger than the girl. But I think that now it’s more… I mean, at my age I’m convinced it’s more fluid than that, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So it doesn’t have to be an issue anymore.

E: But still, when you go on Twitter, short guys are still –

W: Yeah.

E: Totally annihilated.

W: I have notice – I have noticed – Yeah, it’s still… It’s still this… general thing that people get stuck on. Like: “Oh, a short dude. That’s not okay.” Or whatever.

E: Or like the guy has to be taller. But no, we’re – we’re – not… not all relationships… we’re really generalizing here. But I get what you mean.

W: Yeah.

E: No, it’s – I do think it’s still important. I think that when you’re, and this is really harsh, but that a lot of people look at you differently when you’re taller. I have this dude in my friend group, Louis Ledegen, and he’s close to 2 meters tall, and just some girls look at him and they just think that’s so… attractive or whatever. And I just can’t even imagine.

W: I don’t get that either.

E: That that makes them go like: “Wow!”

W: I was in the train just now and this dude walked by me and he was honestly like 2 meters tall and I was just thinking: “When you’re that tall, and you’re with…” I mean, the girl almost has to get on a stepping stool to reach him for a kiss! And girls are like – I mean, I’ve heard before that girls think it’s attractive when a man is really tall.

E: Yeah.

W: And yeah, I don’t know… I don’t totally get it.

E: No.

W: Maybe it’s cause I’m not that tall myself, that I’m like trying to protect myself and be all: “That’s not necessary!”

E: Yeah! If anybody knows the answer, do we, being shorter guys, have less of a chance?

W: Let us know, please.

14:53

E: Please let us know! We need some answers! Now in the show, wtFOCK, your hair’s a different color.

W: Yeah.

E: Yeah. Is that something… So that was actually – it wasn’t really blonde?

W: It was completely bleached.

E: Bleached.

W: It was more to the… But the thing is that they had to do it twice, cause the first time… I got there, for the first table read with the director and Willem [Herbots] and they were like: “Hey, Willem. We wanted to ask you something. We’d like to bleach your hair for the role.”

E: Yeah.

W: And I was like: “… Okay.”

E: Okay.

W: “And why?” No. “Just for the character and stuff.” So I was like: “Okay. That’s fine.” The thing is I had to be at the hairdresser for 4 hours for this.

E: Oh wow, heavy.

W: It was like this and this product, and it had to sit for a long time. It had to be bleached all over. And I got out of there the first time and I was completely yellow – but yellow like an egg.

E: Oh, shit!

W: And I… My mom dropped me off, and I texted her: “I’m done, will you come get me?” And I saw my mom approach and she just passed me by.

E: Oh wow.

W: She didn’t – she almost didn’t recognize me anymore. Like halfway - she was like – and then she was like: “Oh! Willem!” Like she hadn’t seen –

E: Oh shit.

W: That it was me. That I looked completely different. And then I arrived for another table read and Tom [Goris – director] was like: “Yeah… We’re not gonna go this route… This is too yellow.” So then I spent another 4 hours at the hairdresser. After that I had to be there for four hours almost every month. I did think it was cool to have bleached hair, but… You have to be at the hairdresser for so long, so that really wasn’t… my thing. I mean, I had some really cool moments with Mitch [Fabry – hair & make up wtFOCK]. Thanks, Mitch.

E: Would you ever dye your hair again?

W: Uhm.

E: Maybe another color?

W: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy with my hair color, actually, I don’t know.

E: Alright.

W: Now it’s also like… Everyone always asks me: “So this is your natural hair color?”

E: Yeah.

W: And then I have to tell them: “Yeah.” And it’s like: “Oh, okay!” It’s this switch. But no, I’m happy with my hair. It’s fine.

17:03

E: I can also tell that you’ve got an earring? You can’t really tell on camera, but –

W: I’ll come a little closer [to the camera]. Yeah, I only got it recently, four weeks or something.

E: Yeah. Was it an impulsive, drunken decision, or something you wanted… for some time?

W: I’ve wanted it for a long time, but I was a little anxious about it like: “It’s not gonna look good on me,” and then after a while, a couple of months ago, I was like: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do it.” And if it didn’t look good I could still just take it out, so it doesn’t really matter. But all in all I was pretty happy with it. My father, my parents – my mom: “Oh, so nice!!” And it was like – at first they give you a stud and then after four weeks you can change it to a hoop. And I really wanted a hoop, and I even asked the people in the (piercing) shop: “Can’t I please just get a hoop straight away?” And they were like: “No, sorry, it doesn’t work like that. For hygiene reasons that’s not okay.”

E: Okay.

W: But okay, so I had to wait four weeks and then eventually I could change it to the golden hoop. So I get home and the first thing my father said was: “Wow, you look like a douchebag.” That was the first thing out of his mouth, that I looked like a douchebag.

E: Is that the look you were going for?

W: No, not at all! Not at all!

E: I think it looks cool.

W: Thanks.

E: Cause a little while ago I wanted one, and so I put on my girlfriend’s earring – because even if your ear isn’t pierced it sticks a little –

W: Yeah.

E: And so I just put it on there for a day or something, and then I was like: “Okay, that’s quite enough.” I don’t know if I’d want it for longer than that. Recently I’ve been getting into rings and stuff though.

W: I wore rings for a long time, but I don’t have any anymore. I actually want – I like them too. But I have to –

18:47

E: If I’d known, I would’ve brought you a gift!

W: Go shopping. Goddamn!

E: I did bring you another gift though!

W: Another gift? Oei oei oei, gifts!

E: This is something I do every week,  I give my guest of the week something.

W: Oei oei oei. 

E: It’s just…

W: Do I just slide it –

E: There’s a little hatch over here, that you have to lift, and then you can just lift it like that. There we go.

W: There we go.

E: White hairspray.

W: If I’d want to go back to – there we have it. Too good.

E: It can be washed out really easily as well. So this way you don’t have to be at the hairdresser for like four hours. And then when you’re sick of it, you can just get rid of it again!

W: That was the thing… Thank you, by the way.

E: You’re very welcome.

W: Now I can go back – Now I can go back to my past life. No, that was the thing as well. People who – people who - after wtFOCK came online, people really recognized me with the white hair. I mean, it’s pretty noticeable, when I’m walking through Ghent station – if someone with bleached hair. I mean, if you watch the show, I can imagine that when you see someone with bleached hair, you immediately connect the two and think: “Oh, that could be him.” And then you run in to some people who ask for pictures. After that my hair was really short, cause the people from Déja-Vu were like: “We’re not gonna do this, just go back to your natural hair color.” So I cut it all off, and there was this time where… nobody came to talk to me anymore. I was able to just be myself again. It was as if – looking back on it, it was actually really nice that for wtFOCK I was able to completely get into a different character with different hair. And the first time I got rid of the hair I really noticed that was no longer being associated with the character.

E: Hannah Montana vibes! Your hair changes color and nobody knows who you are anymore.

W: “Who are you?”

E: “Who the fuck are you?!”

W: “Does anybody want to take pictures with me? It’s me! It’s me! I swear!”

E: “I’m that dude from wtFOCK! I’m that dude from wtFOCK!”

W: So if people don’t recognize me anymore I can just… *pshhht* in the morning.

E: Exactly! If you want to take some more pictures, you can just…

W: No, no. That’s fine. No, yeah.

E: It’s kind of crazy, actually. Because, honestly? The very first time I saw a flash of you, with this hair color, I also thought: “I recognize you from somewhere…” But I think I’d already gotten in contact with you through social [media] and I didn’t put two and two together that you…

W: Yeah.

E: “Aaah!”

W: “Aaah! You’re that guy!”

E: Yeah, so…

W: But that’s the whole thing. If someone recognizes me, which doesn’t happen that often by the way, it’s always – I think it’s funny to be like: “No, that’s not me.”

E: No.

W: People really start doubting themselves, it’s very: “Uhm, can I ask you a question? Are you that guy from wtFock?” “Me? No.”

E: “No!”

W: “That’s not me.” And people will often be like: “Oh? What? But I recognize you…” That doubt on their faces is pretty funny but yeah, then I tell them it’s me.

E: Just the reaction of someone being like: “Huh, do I know you from somewhere?” “Do you watch porn?”

W: The confrontation.

E: “Oh… qmdkjg.” And it’d be even better if the parents were right there as well. “Argh!”

W: “Yes, Jürgen, care to explain yourself, young man?”

E: No, it’s just funny to joke about. But you’ve never – Do you just get: “Hey, are you that guy from wtFOCK?” Or have people also asked you: “Do I know you from somewhere?” Or: “What do I know you from?”

W: Yeah, it depends. The thing is – I go to school in Ghent and when the [popular place where college students go out] was still open before Covid-19, not that I went there often because I didn’t really like it there –

E: No.

W: - in the sense that the combination of young people who –

E: Watch wtFOCK.

W: - watch wtFOCK and alcohol – and people who’ve had alcohol to drink –

E: And are horny?

W: - their limits or boundaries are just gone. “Oh my god!!! You’re that dude from wtFOCK!! Can I kiss you??” Things like that!

E: Oh, fuck!

W: And I was really like: “Okay…?” I’m just a regular dude and I’m trying – and I actually thought it was less annoying for myself, but I thought it was more disruptive for my friends. Like even when we were just walking down the street, we got recognized a couple of times, and I was just like: I just want to have fun with my friends, and not have to spend too much time thinking. That’s another thing I was subconsciously thinking about. Imagine I drink way too much.

E: Yeah.

W: And I end up in the gutter somewhere, and people start filming that… So yeah, that made… So because of that I spent more time in friends’ dorm rooms just having dorm parties.

E: And since your bleached hair is gone, have you gone to a party?

W: When my bleached hair was gone corona was already a thing so I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But it’s starting to come back [the parties] so that’s nice. I’m looking forward to… tomorrow I’m going-

E: Are you going as well?

W: Are you going to Plein Air by Fuse?

E: Tomorrow I’m going to Jaimie Lee who-

W: …Is going to DJ at three festivals.

E: Yeah at three festivals and I will be backstage I guess.

W: Okay.

E: One of those festivals?

W: Yeah I don’t know. I have tickets for Fuse Open Air in Brussels.

24:19

E: I honestly have no idea where I’m going. Anyway, I’m excited. And I always asked, what’s the first event you went to ever since it’s allowed? Did you go to We Can Dance festival?

W: No I was studying.

E: Was today your last exam or yesterday?

W: Yesterday was my last exam in the morning. I was stressing so much, because I thought I would fail, but eventually I think it went relatively well. If you’re watching professors, let me pass please. No I think it went well.

E: Are you someone who is stress resistant?

W: Uhh no.

E: No?

W: I let it take over my body.

E: You get physically unwell?

W: I will be laying in bed and I’m tossing and turning and sweating. And I think about how I’m not gonna pass tomorrow. And the combination with my worries is really not good. It makes me stay up really late. The thing is with stress resistant, I for example made my own play at high school about a kid with divorced parents for my final work and the whole audience was filled with my family and my parents. That’s pretty confronting to tell a story that’s also a little bit of their life and is pretty personal. I’m always stressed for things like that. Then it’s weird – from the first word I spoke I had a lot of stress and worries and the first sentence that I said was something like “I don’t know what to do”, and then it’s all of a sudden poofff. The train has left.

E: You said you didn’t really know what to do now.

W: That’s the first sentence of the text that I wrote and the moment I said that sentence I thought in my head “the train has left, there’s no way back now” and then the stress disappears automatically. But before the final rehearsal there was a moment that I was moving around heavily and I was throwing with chairs. And afterwards I had to pack moving boxes, which was okay. But from moving around and the combination of stress it made me almost gag in the box from the stress so I almost puked. So at these moments it gets pretty heavy.

E: Did other people notice or were you hiding it?

W: Yeah the final rehearsal was luckily not with an audience, but my teachers were like “Everything alright?” and I was like “Yeah I’m good. It’s a bit much”. But when it comes to stress, a lot of people always say – I’m even a little stressed right now actually.

E: Really?

W: Podcasts, oh no no.

E: Oh shit. You have to be (stressed)

W: A lot of pressure on my shoulder here. No, but a lot of people say that it doesn’t look like that I’m stressed even though I really am dying from all the stress.

E: Only now you can hide it really well. You should become an actor.

W: A lot of people have said that to me often, but it’s not my interest. Also not much work in the field.

E: That too, fuck. Are you someone who constantly pretends like you’re okay?

W: Yes.

E: Even when you have a lot of shit going on in your head and you’re processing other things?

W: I'm one person. One person?

E: "I'm one person" [laughs]

W: I am one person. No, but I'm someone who often keeps their stuff to themselves, so that I can listen to what others need.

28:15

E: That was my next question. You listen more to other people’s problems and you’re the person people come to with their problems?

W: I think, at least I hope, that a lot of my friends do know that they can always come to me for a talk or a phone call. I'm someone that will shove away their happiness for someone else, which isn’t always positive of course.

E: It is a beautiful characteristic, but it shouldn’t take over indeed.

W: In the past it has happened that I was falling apart, but I kept pushing it away, because I wanted to take care of someone else. I noticed this a lot during the divorce of my parents. My parents had a hard time with the divorce and I remember that I came home as a little boy and I saw my mom sitting and I felt the duty to comfort her and to be there for her, even though I was 8 or 9 years old. That’s not something you expect to do or think from an 8 year old. It really broke me and now I can openly speak about it, because I have had enough conversations with my parents about it, about how it was for me. And I made a play about it, as I told earlier, so it’s been a whole process and that has scarred me till at least my 16th. My parents got divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old. It took me a long time to open up because of that. I notice it a lot in previous relationships, that I walk away from fights, because I would find the confrontation too heavy to get into a fight and to discuss. The divorce and fights with my parents scarred me so hard that I didn’t want that again. I wanted everything to be rainbow and sunshine, but life doesn’t work like that. And that was partly a misconception from me, that I thought that a relationship had to be perfect, if there is a fight, then it’s not going well. Now I realize that fights are part of a relationship. And also part of steps you take into accepting each other, listening to each other and understanding each other. It’s needed for a stronger connection. You can’t, well you can, but in my eyes you can’t be with someone for a long time without ever having had a conflict. Even if it’s a discussion, because then you’re adapting too much to the other, and then you say okay, I’m adapting to the demands of her and I suppress my own things or things I want to do, only to avoid the discussion, and that’s something I learned. And that’s how everyone learns their own things along the way.

E: You still see it in the youth, those romantic movies, where everyone is so in love and it always ends with a kiss or something and it’s always good and then you think, this must be the case in real life. Why can’t I find Gabriella Montez for my Troy Bolton. Even though that was a shitty relationship too, they were constantly fighting. No, but that gives a wrong image about relationships and for other things because of movies. And the reality is just different.

32:16

W: Yes. I recently for the first time -this is kinda embarrassing because it’s a must see- watched The Notebook.

E: Me too! What did you think?

W: It has been a few weeks ago. Or a few weeks, maybe 3 or something.

E: I watched it last weekend.

W: I almost cried.

E: Really?

W: I’m a really emotional person. I can really cry. I can really get lost in a movie. “No not the puppy, why?!” Those things, where I think "Willem, act normal". But no it was a beautiful movie.

E: Yeah I have a different opinion, because I just fell asleep. I fell asleep, because it all went so slow, it started so slow. I didn’t even watch the kiss in the rain scene.

W: The moment. It’s in literally every romantic movie. In the rain, it happens everywhere.

Ender: Yeah mate, it’s such a cliché actually, but yeah.

W: I bet you that they’re just standing there with a garden hose.

E: Definitely.

W: It can’t be that they’re waiting, “is it gonna rain today? We need to do that scene now”.

33:27

E: Checking the rain alarm while everyone is inside. There are definitely sprinklers there. It’s in a lot of romantic movies. Now that we’re talking about it, the filming you did with wtFock, you sometimes had scenes outside. Here we have those (light) spots, I assume that you don’t carry them outside. How do you guys do that?

W: Sometimes we do have spots outside, but as long as the light from the sun is okay – with a binocular (telescope), well it’s not a binocular, it’s a round thing you can look through and with it they can determine the brightness of the sun and if the sun is too bright for the lightning they need, then it gets shielded, the same that is in front of your lamps. With that they can dim the lights. Or when there is not enough they use isomo plates, that’s really weird. Sometimes there are really intimate scenes in a series where it looks like it’s really close to the skin of the actors. There is a camera with a plate on it and a stick for the sound above it, it sometimes made it really hard for me to focus, because everyone is sitting there and the director and I’m like “yeah, okay okay”. So it takes a lot to get it all professional.

E: Was there a crazy moment where you forgot your lines? That you’re laying in bed and you’re like “which sentence do I have to say now?”

W: Yeah we’ve definitely had a lot of bloopers. Yeah forgetting lines or.. the thing is, as long as the director doesn’t say cut, you have to keep going. It’s a matter of "how do I improvise myself around this scene to get to the point we actually have to get to", because you have a scene and you have your lines, but if you forget something, then you do know the main lines of where the scene has to go to. You know the scene will end in a kiss or something and these subjects will be spoken about in the conversation, so when you forget your lines, you try to work your way through it as best as possible. And when the director says it wasn’t good, then we’ll do it again. I’ve had a lot of moments where I forgot my lines and I was laying in bed with Willem and we would look at each other and we’d know that I had to say something, but I was stuck, so there would be a 10 seconds silence, hoping for them to say cut. Yeah so those kinds of moments a lot or moments where I… I also had that with Déjà Vu. I remember… by the way it was amazing to work together with such big names as Natali Broods and Koen De Graeve. And Koen, lovely person, was kind of the father figure on set and we had a scene, next to the bed, a quite emotional scene. And the camera was focused on me, close up on my face. And I still remember that, the sound was going, everything, and Koen had just told a joke, or made a face that made me laugh. So, I had to laugh really hard, but I had to act very sad. It was an intense scene of goodbyes. All the time, starting to laugh about everything. I still remember for wtFock we made a video with bloopers and those are very fun to watch back.

37:03

E: Are those bloopers ever published somewhere online?

W: I don’t think so.

E: I think if you’d be able to release them somewhere that a lot of people would be interested in them.

W: Yes, yes. I don’t know why, indeed. The fans would be happy with those.

E: I think a lot of people- because we were just talking about your biggest fan.

W: My biggest-

E: Your grandma.

W: My grandma, yes. Big shout out to my grandma.

E: Do you think she’s watching right now?

W: She’ll definitely watch, I hope so.

E: What’s your grandma’s name?

W: Micheline.

E: Micheline, thank you very much for watching Micheline.

W: Micheline.

E: I appreciate it.

W: Women in power. She deserves a special place. No really, she follows all the fan accounts of wtFock. And then sometimes, or very often, we call and she gives me an update of what’s being said on the internet. Or yes, I also remember, when scenes come out and there’s things being said and she’s like "Willem, is that true, what are they saying?" And I say "Grandma, it’s nothing, it’s all from the show." "Ah okay, okay." So yes, very sweet grandma. She’s like the grandma where everything was allowed. I think that’s the same for everyone. At home, there are a lot of rules, and then you got to sleepover at your grandma’s and it was like: "Oh, I get to stay up later, and she made pudding for me." Her vanilla pudding-

E: That good?

W: Grandma, if you’re seeing this, please make some vanilla pudding when I visit.

E: Dude, everything’s falling out of my pocket.

W: You’re letting everything fall out of your pocket? Maybe you need to buy another pair of pants.

E: The chair is too comfortable that I’m kind of sinking in it, and now I constantly get-

W: The conversation’s too comfortable-

E: It’s just my phone, it’s vibrating, I think it just vibrated out of my pocket. So, silent, great. Eh, what were we talking about? About your grandma.

W: About my grandma.

38:46

E: Now, totally different subject. If you were a fish, what color fish would you be?

W: A fish?

E: Which color do you identify most with?

W: Eh.

E: And you’re a fish too of course.

W: Identify with which color. The thing is, I’m in the scouts. And in the Jins, that’s the last year before you become a leader, we were given a color totem, and the whole group decided on a color that fits you.

E: All right.

W: And mine was mango orange.

E: Wow, that’s cool.

W: Yeah, I thought it was cool too. And it means, if I have to think back, mango has quite a hard peel, relatively, but the fruit itself is quite soft. And that refers to my personality. I’m someone that lets people in fast, around me, but in the beginning, suspicion is a little strong, but kind of like, testing. Let’s say that. But once- From the outside I might look a bit hard. A lot of people say that when I have my straight face-

E: Resting bitch face.

W: That I’m angry. I was once told on the subway by a dude, and I was just listening to music, staring in the distance, and I think, suddenly a dude comes up to me, in French: "C’est quoi ton problème, heh, tu regardes come ça, c’est quoi ton problème." And I was like: "I’m sorry". Apparently, I was looking in his direction with my-

E: Bitch face.

W: Bitch face. He must have thought I was looking for problems. So yeah, that’s why the mango, a little hard on the outside, but once you get to know me better, a soft, sweet boy. So that’s why, orange. So, an orange fish then.

E: A little bit of Nemo vibes.

W: Yes, Nemo then. But let’s, what’s that theory. Did you hear that?

E: Theory?

W: About Nemo.

E: What’s the theory?

W: Haven’t you heard that? I keep seeing that online. I’m having a crisis. So the thing is, your childhood will get ruined.

E: Fuck man.

W: The thing is-

E: But there really are, no keep going, I have something I want to say afterwards.

W: The thing is, I’ve heard, that Nemo is Latin for nobody, and that the father is imagining that he still has an egg left, but that that fish doesn’t actually exist.

E: Oh fuck.

W: And that Dory joins him, and he sees, we’re actually not looking for anyone, but because he has memory issues, he constantly forgets that they’re not looking for anyone. So, they’re actually looking for nobody. And I saw that online and I was like.

E: Damn, so all the eggs are eaten, but he imagines that someone still has to be there.

W: Yes, something to keep living for.

E: Fuck man, that’s very brutal. That’s very fucked up.

W: Sorry to everyone for who Nemo is ruined now.

E: There’s a similar theory about Phineas and Ferb, and then Candice, their sister, is based on a true story about a girl that lost her brothers and still imagines that they're still doing stuff in the garden. And she keeps telling her mom: "Look, look, they are still here, they’re doing that." And that the mom says: "They’re not there." And that’s why she can never see that. You get it? Brutal right?

W: My whole childhood is ruined. Fucking hell.

E: That’s going to be the title of this podcast.

W: Childhood ruined.

E: We’re ruining your childhood.

42:17

W: We’re ruining your childhood. No but that’s good because, thankfully, I have a half-sister, but I say sister because I think half-sister is an ugly word, of seven years old. She thinks she’s 16. She’s a real diva.

E: Oh wow, okay.

W: She’s very, I’ll tell you a story later, but the thing is, I experience all those things with her again. In the beginning it was like, turning the tv on, Bumba, again. And I could secretly watch with her without feeling guilty. I was like, I’m watching Bumba and secretly I’m enjoying it, but sssh, I’m just watching it with my sister.

E: That exactly.

W: And now it’s Ketnet, like Hoodie, those series that she’s watching. And yes, I notice that because of all the technology today, she has an iPad, she’s on YouTube, she’s watching those self-made crafts.

E: 7 years old?

W: 7 years old, yes.

E: Wow.

W: She watches those- where people are playing with Barbies and they make a little play with them online on YouTube and they do stuff. Yes, a tablet. She has an iPad that’s bigger than her head. That makes me think- well, an iPad is usually bigger than everyone’s head. Or well, almost.

E: Not if you have a mini of course.

W: Her head isn’t that big.

E: Okay.

W: She’s on it a lot though. But she’s a real diva. I think the best story I have, there’s multiple. I remember the story, we were sitting at the table and she was having another moment of "I’m the princess, and everyone can leave because I do what I want and fuck you all". But the thing is, there’s five kids at home. I have a brother and two stepbrothers. So, she has four brothers, and she knows very well that she has four brothers. And that makes her feel even more like she’s the princess at home. So, we were sitting at the table. And she kept staring at my dad like this while throwing her cutlery on the ground. Like "what are you going to do". And my dad was like: "Liv," because her name is Liv by the way, "stop that."

E: That wasn’t nice of Liv. (Liv sounds the same as lief which means nice in Dutch.)

W: No. Not nice of-

E: Haha. Sorry.

W: Badam pam ts. Can’t we put that under here. Yes.

E: No, sorry, keep going.

W: So, he was like: "Liv, stop that, stop that." He started to get annoyed, because she kept going. "Liv, what is so hard to understand about no." And then it got silent at the table so I thought, okay, it’s done. The o.

E: Oh wow.

W: 7 years old and she drops that.

E: Oh wow.

W: And I thought, okay.

E: Damn bro.

W: The o. That she even dares to say that. Yeah, and she has those moments. She was sitting at the table, with her mask on, eating. So, she pulled her mask down to eat, and then she was chewing with her mask on. And then I asked: "Liv, why are you wearing your mask?" "Yes, you came back from Ghent, you’re not in my bubble."

E: Okay, okay.

W: So, then I said: "Okay, that’s fine." It’s crazy how that goes around among young children. Because my sister came back home from school crying once. And I asked her: ‘Liv, what’s wrong?’ "Yes, my friends didn’t let me play with them." So, I was like: "Why?" "Margot says I’m not allowed in her bubble."

E: Oh wow.

W: See, that’s becoming the new- we played with Pokémon cards on the playground and now it’s about playing games in bubbles because it’s so-

E: Damn.

W: Yes, you’re only allowed to have four people in your bubble so we don’t play with more than four.

E: Oh wow.

W: So I found that kind of crazy, or confronting that it made me think like, even at such a young age it has an impact. And I know that the-

E: That it leaves an impression.

W: Yes, and I know that my dad-

E: It’s sad that children have to think about it.

W: Yes, exactly.

E: Well, it’s not that- everyone should think about it of course.

W: Yes, yes, of course. It’s also that I know the way my dad feels about raising, that he tells Liv straight up about things that are happening in the world. He doesn’t make things seem nicer, or saying, eh, yes, no, but that’s- The classic story of how babies are made, with the cauliflowers, and what not.

E: I also just think-

W: How am I going to explain that to my kids?

E: If you don’t make it a taboo to start with, is it that bad? It’s just- it’s just. Oh well, that’s a whole other conversation.

W: Yes, no, definitely.

E: But straight up just telling what’s going on to your kids. I think I would prefer that to making up a story about the flowers and the bees.

W: Yes, yes.

E: Because the story about the flowers and the bees, I don’t even know how you actually- pollinating and stuff, is that what that means?

W: You do it like this, pollinating.

E: Yes, no, exactly.

W: Yes, but well, children, that’s still a long time from now.

E: Do you want kids, you think, later?

W: Yes, please.

E: Do you think you would be a good father?

W: I hope I would be a good father. Despite my parents’ divorce, I really do… I do look up to my parents. I’m proud of the way they raised me. So yeah if I would be a good father… sometimes, but maybe that’s the age, kids frustrate me. I’m a leader in the scouts for the Welpen and Welpen -great guys- but they can also be annoying and say “I’m not participating” and “that’s a stupid game, can we do something else?” and I’m like “we invest so much time in this and so much preparation, please participate” so sometimes that bothers me. But I would prefer not to have just one (child). Certainly more than one because… are you an only child?

E: No I have a little brother.

W: Yeah only child… with all due respect to people who are only children but sometimes I think… for example, I’m very happy that I have a brother. Not that it wouldn’t be fun without a brother per se, but I don’t know, the contact I have with my brother is nice.

E: The thing is, you don’t know what you’re missing so it’s hard to miss it I guess. But I do think that my brother has been a great added value to my life.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: In the same way, I never really had grandparents. They all died before I was born and the grandfather I did have was quite old when I was actually aware that I had a grandfather. So I’ve never really had the grandparents experience that you see with family gatherings and stuff. But I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything but I still know how much other people benefit from having grandparents. Also what you just said about how often you call each other and stuff. I think that’s the same with being an only child. If you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you don’t know what it’s like to have that, what you’re missing. But if you do have it, it’s an added value I think.

W: Yes, exactly. No that’s true. My brother is very helpful to me now. I know that I can count on him.

E: Older or younger by the way?

W: Older.

E: A lot older?

W: 21.

E: 21.

W: Oh boy I had to think about how old my brother is. Embarrassing. Love you man. No but we had - maybe you had that too – but when we were younger, we really fought.

E: Physical?

W: Real fighting. Yeah, it’s has now gotten much better. I think we understand each other a lot better, but it used to be real… we had Catch WW on the Wii and we reenacted that on the couch so that was… “In the right corner Ramy Stereo” and we were bare-chested and both had one boxing glove on and fighting each other until one of us cried, bled or gave up. Usually it was me.

E: That’s just the fate of the little brother.

W: I always went… I’ve never admitted that actually, [whispers] it’s a confession. I’ve never admitted it, but afterwards I always went to my parents and cried “Kwinten hurt me”.

E: That’s really… that’s the moment, you feel it coming and you think “ah fuck no, if I hit again it’s probably over but I want to…” [cross-talk] “no no no don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom!” I think I was a pretty nice big brother. We often did shit together. We were at home playing on the couch together and Olaf bumps into a large box that was standing there and the box, bigger than Olaf back then, fell down on his hand.

W: Oh shit.

E: So Olaf broke his hand. And I thought “I made him jump over those chairs” and then you have to say “sorry sorry don’t tell them, don’t tell them!” but yeah if your hand is fucking broken, you’re not gonna stop crying because your big brother says “don’t cry”. Yeah, that are…

W: Yes, but the relationship [between Willem and his brother] has improved. Okay we still have our discussions but... I think moments like when we’ve both been to a pub or something and we come home at the same time and we’re always hungry and standing in the kitchen making sandwiches. Those are great moments. I don’t necessarily need to have emotionally heavy of deep conversations with my brother to know that he’s there and that I can have a good time with him. So I think that’s the added value of having a brother or brothers in general.

E: Do you guys also have a specific sense of humor? Or like those moments when the two of you are laughing and your parents or people around you think “what the fuck is going on?”

W: Yeah we speak some slang to each other for fun. Like “stu stu” and [my slang knowledge is very limited so I have no idea what he’s saying here lol], those kinds of things. Typical slang from Brussels and Leuven. It’s funny because my parents are always like “why are you talking to each other like that?” and recently, I was leaving and my mom said “stu stu!” so they are adopting those words and then my brother and I can’t stop laughing.

E: Also if your mom suddenly says “are we going to chill later?” and I’m like [laughing] “what? Mom!”

W: “Okay??”

E: It’s kind of cute. Yeah it’s fun. And what are… I almost want to go deep like…

W: That’s okay.

E: Is there a particular interaction or experience you’ve had with your brother that sums up your relationship right now? Or are those the moments when you’re laughing and eating at night? It doesn’t have to be a super deep or emotional moment.

W: I think it’s an accumulation of those moments and emotional moments too. For example, after it was over with my ex. I was really down back then, it hit me pretty hard. Those are the moments when I can walk into my brother’s room in the middle of the night and he’s there for me. I know that dude is always going to be there when something’s wrong, no matter how much we argue or how much we shit at each other. I just know, and I hope he does too, that I can call him 24/7, walk into his room 24/7 and he will be there or ready to listen. I think that’s just something… the fact that we know that about each other, that creates that bond. And the thing is, if only he would do his best and go to work, earn real money… because we went on holiday together and he still hasn’t… he still has some work to do but we’ve already planned something. I’m really looking forward to it. We’re planning to go surfing in Portugal together. Those are moments I just know I can go somewhere with him and have the time of my life without-

E: …That you can remember for the rest of your life what you did together.

W: Yeah, absolutely. Those moments that I want to cherish or want to keep or experience.

E: My little brother is also just the most annoying dude on this planet who I love the most.

W: Exactly that combination. Annoying, but you love them.

E: Of course. The cameras are back on. That means we’ve been at it for over 50 minutes.

W: 50 minutes? It feels like we’re chatting for 20 minutes.

E: Exactly.

W: Pleasant.

E: That’s good. If it’s pleasant and the stress is gone.

W: Do you actually like me? “No I hate you. We’re going to finish. It has been good.”

55:29

E: No we’re not going to finish yet, but before we do, is there anything you’d like to send out into the world before we finish? On average there are 10 to 50 people watching. Is there anything you want to say to them?

W: To the 10 to 50 people?

E: Yes.

W: 10 to 50 people, you are awesome. No, what I’m saying… maybe a little deep but it doesn’t matter. Very often in your life you are going to encounter that you run into a wall, that you’re going to have setbacks, that you think “I don’t want to anymore, I can’t to this anymore, life is all one big shit show” but I think that there is a certain… at least I believe that – everyone has their own opinion of course- that a certain path has been mapped out for everyone. Not necessarily that things are set in stone but there is a road that you are going to take and that road is going to have curves, is going to have hills, is going to have valleys, is going to have everything. Maybe it’s a gravel path, maybe rocks you stumble over but -it sounds a bit stupid- put on your best walking shoes and just walk that path the best way you can. Just try to live life with complete joy and euphoria because you’re 100% worth it. No matter what other people say or think about your ideology or style or way of life. Everyone is entitled to it or should be given the opportunity to be appreciated for who they are. I think that’s something we do too little in this society, but yeah.

E: Just don’t be too hard on yourself in the end?

W: Yeah, don’t be too hard on yourself. A lot of people blame themselves too much. Or “oh I’m like that and I don’t fit in because of that” or something. Then I think: so be it.

E: Do you sometimes feel that you should do more or have achieved more at this age? Of course you’re already doing a lot of cool shit but social media, I know there is a highlight reel of all people’s achievements and that sometimes it’s very difficult to filter between what is real and how much is that person actually sitting on the couch doing nothing. Do you sometimes feel that because of social media of because of your environment or I don’t know, that you’re not doing enough?

W: Gosh, sometimes I think my life is too full.

E: Too full?

W: Not that I’m saying “oh I have so many things to do” but I’m like... I’m letting that grow organically or so.

E: Not putting too much pressure on yourself?

W: Not putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m doing a course now that I’d like to finish because I’ve had those two projects and there are friends of mine who say “why are you still studying? You’ve had your opportunity, you’re going to get new opportunities right?” and I say “hey! I’m also only 19”. Sometimes I think “fuck Willem you should have achieved more already” but I also think I’m only 19. There was a conversation at school… I really think that’s one of the added values of the course. We receive an observation report twice a year, 5 pages where the teacher writes about you and how they see you, what they think about you, what your qualities are, what you still need to work on. It’s always spot on. So strange how they can just see right through you, even though I sometimes try to hide it. Yeah, where was I going with this… we had subsequent conversation about it and I said to my teacher “sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this course” that I have too little life experience. There are people in my class who are in their 20s or older, who have already studied something else before this, have read a lot more, seen a lot more than me, a lot more experience and I think “fuck, I don’t have anything”. People talk about certain topics and I don’t follow at all. I mentioned that I felt too young and she [the teacher] said “you’re young, but that also has its advantages. Your youthfulness can actually be an interesting tool in this course and look at it from a different perspective”. So I’m convinced: don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t think “whew, I’m already 20 and I haven’t achieved anything yet” so to speak. I even saw a video recently where… “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you might make it in your 30s and if you don’t make it in your 30s, you might make it in your 40s”. There are so many… there really are a lot of people… people often forget that there are people who only find out what they want to do or discover their passion later in life.

E: And also just… I think it’s so ridiculous that you set certain goals for a certain age or something. That it’s so expected that by 18 you must have completed high school and by 25 you must have had your first job interview, by 28/30 you must have a house and a serious relationship where you’re committed to for the rest of your life and by 40 you must have already had a promotion, that you can provide for yourself and fix your pension. All those fucking predetermined milestones. I think that’s kind of bullshit, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If that were the case, then I should graduate in a few years so to speak while I’m clearly not studying here because I have – fuck normally I have a re-exam today. And here we are.

W: Here we are.

E: I knew I was doing this but I mean that’s just… there’s so much time. I’m 22 now and I’m doing some shit, if I go nuts now or people don’t want to listen to this podcast anymore, don’t want to see what I do online, okay then I have to look elsewhere. But I did this and I went for it and I tried. I’m 22. Even if I go nuts now and it’s all gone, I’m only 22. There are still so many ways it could go. A lot of people don’t have a job at 22. If I started looking for a new job or something now, hopefully I’ll have one by 25. Then it’s still okay because I’m only 25. I don’t know, I always find that… I could go on for a long time about this. I think those predetermined milestones/goals of things that you must have achieved by a certain age, I just think it’s bullshit.

W: I sometimes make the comparison that people too often see life as the sports world. Football players who are good until 35 and then they are done. As if you must have already performed before that age. That’s not how it works. You really have all the time and you really don’t have to stress. I also notice that many people… you mentioned re-exams. That people say “fuck I have re-exams, oh no I’m not going to pass, oh no you have extra…” chill. You do your best, but suppose you have to repeat a year, that’s not a disaster either, is it?

E: What I also think is crazy is how many people have studied law and you eventually hear that they ended up in a marketing agency because they found it much more interesting. When I talk to some people who… I was seeing a social media manager recently [laughs] “seeing”, I was talking to him.

W: “seeing” okay [laughs].

E: I was talking to him.

W: [joking] Ender has something to say.

E: And I asked “what did you study?” and he said biochemistry. “How the fuck did you end up here?” Him: “uh yeah that just wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a master’s degree but I started working here because I found it much more interesting”. I thought: why am I pretending that the degree I’m trying to get is going to determine the rest of my life, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If there are so many people now… because he was only 28 or something. So I thought “aah okay so you’ve been studying biochemistry for so many years and now you’re here – I don’t know if I’m talking about the correct position – but now you’re just sitting here making content. Cool. But why do I attach so much importance to that one direction I’m studying right now that doesn’t even have anything to do with media or anything. I mean I’m very interested in media, I’m studying economics. Which is also interesting, but that’s not what I see myself doing in the coming years.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: Anyway enough about me. Do you think you could win in a fight against a cow?

W: [laughs] I really like that. You can switch to totally different shit like that. Like before you suddenly asked what color fish do you want to be. Okay. That’s nice. Win… I’ve heard if you knock over a cow it dies. That it has a heart attack then. We don’t want to kill cows okay!

E: And purely hypothetical, you’re just standing in a kind of meadow so it’s not super big so you can’t go in all directions. There is a limited domain. You come face to face with that cow and you have to begin. No weapons. You’re standing there and the cow stands there and you both know you’re going to fight.

W: It knows that too?

E: It knows that too.

W: [makes mooing noises] okay ca va.

E: It’s not a bull but it does have horns so in fact it would-

W: I would shit my pants. I’d give up already. I would lie on the ground, come on. Really crazy, I saw Jackass recently. Those guys, that Wee Man, who was in that link with the bull and he’s being catapulted, so to speak.

E: I don’t understand how those guys aren’t all dead yet.

W: Yeah they are really crazy.

E: There was also a rumor that Wee Man died from a bowling ball during… but apparently that wasn’t true.

W: I don’t know.

E: Fucked up shit. Would you win against a cow?

W: Would I win against a cow? No, I wouldn’t win against a cow. I don’t think I would win against a cow.

E: I think I would. I think just like with a bull I would try to jump out of the way like that and once you’re on the side it’s just a matter of pushing. If what you said is true, it’s game over when it’s down and you know, that’s your tactic.

W: But the thing is, a cow is heavy, isn’t it?

E: True.

W: You can’t just push it over like that, can you?

E: Sure, but it’s a matter of life or death, isn’t it? The adrenaline rush. You have to image, a cow just comes running towards you. The adrenaline that goes through your body. You shouldn’t underestimate the power you have then.

W: Just find the best patch of grass and when it’s there, sneaky knife in the back. No, now people are going to think I’m that kind of person.

E: That you’re just a snake.

W: Snake. Definitely and I admit it. No, that would be fucked up.

E: I’m going to do one more thing that’s important. I’m going to find a Twitter shout out and in the meantime, I already asked you what your message is to the world and that was a beautiful message. Got something more banal that you’d like to share? Something that you want to share from your social media or something?

W: What do you mean from social media?

E: Where they can follow you. You can say something if you have a really good video that you want to share. “Check me everywhere”.

W: No I don’t have… people should do what they feel like doing. Do you think I’m cool, do you think I’m fun, follow me on Insta. No really doesn’t matter. Doesn’t really matter.

E: Alright, I’m just going to scroll and you say stop. I’ll go back and forth and you have to say “yes that’s the one who gets to have this week’s shout out”.

W: Exciting huh. Stop.

E: [reads twitter account] M. Verschuren.

W: M. Verscheure.

E: Is that…

W: [reads quote] “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”.

E: Wow. Damn bro.

W: I’m going to edit my quote.

E: “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”. Wow. If you didn’t have shitty days, you wouldn’t know what the best days of your life were.

W: Exactly. But what if you get stuck in your shitty days for the rest of your life?

E: That won’t happen. That’s my biggest fear.

W: Me too.

E: Looking back at your life and thinking-

W: …Fuck I’ve never been there again.

E: …That’s where I peeked. Hope that doesn’t happen. Anyway M. Verscheure thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it. You as well, I think?

W: Absolutely, absolutely. How much were you going to pay me?

E: 50 euro.

W: Then I’ll come… awesome. Super cool.

E: Thank you so much to everyone who listened. I appreciate it. If you want to hear more you can always subscribe to this channel. It’s also good for my ego. I’ll just put your Instagram link in the description, for people who are interested. Okay, that was it.

W: Thanks, it was fun.

E: There’s an audio only episode on Spotify every Sunday and the video comes out on Monday. That’s it. See you next Monday. Or Sunday. Peace.

[jkbabiey]

🇵 🇷 🇴 🇲 🇮 🇸 🇪 [ 🇯 🇯 🇰 ]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Words: 2.4 K

Pairing: hitman!Jungkook x medstudent!reader

Warnings: flirting, jungkook's a flirty liar :) fluff and smut :)

Song Rec: Waste - Dove Cameron; Built that way - Emotional Oranges; Playboy - EXO; Dope Lovers - DPR IAN

Her.

Jeon Jungkook was a regular client at your gas station, mainly going there at night when you were working.

You knew what his favorite chips were by heart and also the brand of his preferred cigarettes. He wasn't very talkative, but he used to send you a polite smile and a whispered small greeting every time he came into the store. You two had never had a real talk with more than two words, but you definitely exchanged a few looks.

Jeon Jungkook was a handsome man that visited your store almost every night, and you wouldn't be naive enough to not notice his delicate and yet intense features.

Yes, you had probably developed a crush on Jeon Jungkook over the whole year you had worked on the gas station and you would pretty much stare at him every time he came in, not bothering to look away when he caught you boldly staring.

Today was the first day you were getting back to work after the eventful night you'd lived a few weeks ago. You'd had a very rough time walking in these streets for the past few weeks, having asked your boss for a two-week vacation, so you wouldn't have to cross the streets that were still terrifying you to no end - which Jin had found extremely weird; why would you give up your Christmas vacation time, on November? well, little did he know you'd had a very interesting encounter with a potential serial killer in the neighborship of the store.

You didn't say anything about what had happened, not to your best friend, not to your parents, sister, or boss. Watching out for your life after being threatened about telling anyone about what had happened, you had been almost paranoid at home and had never hated living alone as much as you did the past couple of weeks.

You were back in the store though because you couldn’t afford to stay home any longer, and although you were still quite stressed, the night was going by fast and uneventful, you were bored and for the first time in a few days, you let your guard down, closing your eyes and resting your head on top of your arms, leaning on the service counter. Until the clinking sound of the bell on the entrance door sounded and you quickly opened your eyes and tamed your hair down as well as you could.

Jeon Jungkook was a handsome man. He entered the store, and smiled your way, you smiled back, quickly taking a glance at the empty black car that awaited him on the outside of the store.

He was so perfect. Great legs, great ass, great hair, great jawline, great face, gr-

"I'm sorry, do you not have flamin' hot Doritos?" his voice resonated from behind some shelves, just before his pretty face appeared behind them.

"Oh, we don't?" you sounded just as surprised as him, as if you didn't even work in the store, walking out of the behind of the service counter and towards the zone of the chips and other snacks of the same nature. You searched behind the many bags of different flavored Doritos, not finding his favorite ones. "Sorry, I guess we ran out of them."

"Oh..." he sounded so deeply disappointed, you even felt sorry for him.

"Well, we have these ones, you can take these and try to squelch your needs..." you chuckled, holding up a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, and he looked you in the eye for the first time ever - you felt electric. He was confused but after a while of just staring at your youthful innocent face, he chuckled.

"No, it's fine. I'll just take my cigarettes." He answered grabbing the bag from your hand and placing it in its previous place.

You chuckled - trying to hide the very nervous butterflies on your stomach from the proximity with your long-term crush - and walked towards the service counter once again, grabbing the cigarettes he always used to get.

"How'd you know I wanted these ones?"

Your cheeks burned and your eyes widened "I mean... You come here almost every night..."

"You, out of all people, know that as a fact."

He was ruthless tonight. You chuckled nervously and handed him the tobacco pack after he paid.

"See you!" you quickly said to what he smiled teasingly.

"Yeah..."

He was already on his way to his car, his wide strong shoulders turned to you and your eyes fixed on his back. When the guy turned back, a playful glint in his eyes and a teasing smirk on his lips. He opened the store's door once again, peeking only his head inside.

"Can I get your number?" he asked and you couldn't help the huge smile that spread over your face.

"Yeah..." you grabbed a sticky note from the pile on top of the counter, writing your phone number on it and handing it to him.

"See ya."

"Yeah..."

Him.

You were a cutie. You worked at the gas station he always went to at night after his duties. He would always catch you staring but he tried not to make a big deal out of it.

He couldn't help it tonight though. You had spent two weeks away and he noticed your absence. But god, did you look good tonight? You looked great. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty lips, pretty neck, pretty ass, pretty legs, pretty nails, and pretty voice. So pretty. And he just couldn't hold it back.

When he stopped seeing you on the usual service counter you always sat behind he presumed you had quit or maybe asked to work in the day, he didn't expect to see you again. But there you were once again, and you looked adorable.

It was a pity you'd had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Unknown number - 3:46 AM] Hey

[Unknown number - 3:47 AM] You working tonight?

[Unknown number - 3:47 AM] It's Jungkook btw

You squealed looking at these messages about an hour after they were sent. Your cheeks flushed and a shy grin on your face.

[You - 4:34 AM] Hi!

[You - 4:34 AM] sry, just saw these :(

[You - 4:35 AM] yup, working

[Jungkook <3 - 4:40 AM] it's fine, don't worry

[Jungkook <3 - 4:40 AM] what time do you get out?

[You - 4:42 AM] around 8 AM

[Jungkook <3 - 4:42 AM] wanna go get breakfast with me then?

[Jungkook <3 - 4:43 AM] I'll pick u up

[You - 4:43 AM] sounds great

[Jungkook <3 - 4:43 AM] see ya bb

You squealed once again and slammed your phone against the wooded counter - probably a little too harshly.

"You look tired"

Jungkook was seated in front of you, munching on a grilled cheese toast. "Yeah, work does that to you."

You chuckled along with him, that looked you straight in the eye.

"So," you initiated "Tell me about yourself."

"Jeon Jungkook, 22 years old, living just across the street," he pointed over to a grey building across the street in which the coffee shop you were having breakfast was located. "What more do you want to know?"

"What do you do? Do you study? Work?"

Jungkook chuckled lightly, squinting his eyes and taking a sip from his orange juice. "I don't study anymore, do you?"

"I do actually, studying medicine."

"Ooh, I got myself a smart ass?" he snickered and you raised an eyebrow.

"Did you?"

"You tell me."

You looked to the side, avoiding his intense stare. "You didn't tell me what you do though." You commented trying to take the focus off you.

"We've been talking about me for ages, tell me about you."

"What?" you chuckled. "All I know is your name, your age, and address!"

"I don't even know your age princess, c'mon start talking," he chuckled with raised eyebrows, making you laugh as well.

"I'm twenty..." you started "Y/N Y/L/N, studying medicine... Moved here about two years ago when I came to study medicine."

"Oh, you're not from here?"

"Nope, miss my family like hell... But I'm really happy here with my studies."

"Such a nerd," he whispered, chuckling and you stretched your arm to punch his shoulder. "So you living alone?"

"Yeah, a few blocks away from where I work."

Suddenly the sound of a text sounded, it seemed to come from another phone, apart from the one that belonged to Jungkook and was placed on top of the table you were both seating at - it definitely wasn't from your phone.

Why did Jungkook have two phones?

"That's my work phone," he answered the unspoken question evident on your face.

"Oh... you can take it if it's important!"

"No, I'll check later."

Weird.

"So... what do you do?" you asked, trying to change the focus from the suspicious phone situation. It didn't seem to work, as the phone beeped again from his jacket's front pocket. Jungkook chuckled awkwardly and apologized.

"Maybe I should take you home? Seems like I'm needed at work..."

Jungkook paid for your breakfast and his. He took you home in his big black expensive car. He didn't check his phone the entire ride, he never even read what the texts were saying.

Very weird.

"Jungkook, we're in public-" you moaned against his lips, just before they crashed right against yours. You two were in a library, behind some shelves in the crime section, your favorite.

"I know," he answered after you pulled away, trying - partly - to get away from his tight grip. He moved his right leg between yours, so his tight would be pressed against your core, causing a helplessly deep sigh to escape your lips and your head to rest against his shoulder. His lips moved to trail kisses on the side of your neck.

"Someone can come here any minute," you whispered.

"And you love that," he chuckled against the skin he was previously covering in kisses. "Want me to stop?" he asked, teasingly, because he knew you didn't - you loved the thrill of it all. You loved danger.

"No."

And he didn't. He didn't stop.

Your dress was quickly thrown to the velvety floor next to you. Your bra and panties were next - Jungkook didn't like to waste any time when it came to sex.

"You're beautiful..." he whispered against the skin of the valley in the middle of your chest area. He kneeled in front of you, and grabbed one of your tights, placing it on his shoulder as your eyes locked in.

"You have 10 minutes," you stated, trying to keep a stoic face as the man of your wildest fantasies kneeled down in front of you, about to eat you out.

"Won't need that much," he answered cheekily, just before splitting your folds apart and licking you from your cunt to your clit, harshly. It was sudden and the elicit high-pitched cry that erupted from your throat was quickly reprehended by him. "Do you want someone to hear you?"

You knew he didn't need 10 minutes to make you cum.

"No, no... Sorry, keep going, please..." you quickly begged, whispering now, to what Jungkook snickered, getting back to his ministrations.

You did not keep quiet throughout the whole session of Jungkook eating you out, and you really couldn't not scream when he moved his lips to brutally suck at your clit as two of his fingers started to pound inside you, mercilessly. Jungkook didn't scold you this time, instead, you felt his wide smile against your clit, as your fingers intertwined in his dark luscious locks.

It was when he added a third finger to the mix that your legs started shaking and your back arched against his face. Jungkook reached up towards your face to try and cover your mouth, preventing the loud moans of his name that rolled of your tongue.

He didn't stop licking you, even after your orgasm was done and you asked him to stop with tears in your eyes. When he did stop, he placed a loving kiss on the inside of your thigh and handed you the flowery dress and white cotton panties.

You were both already dressed and about to shamefully leave the crime section, when Jungkook pulled you back to him by your wrist, and kissed you deeply, both his hands on the sides of your face.

When he pulled away, your eyes stayed closed and you heard another of his teasing chuckles you loved so much.

"You're awful," you whispered as you walked to the exit door of the library, hand in hand.

"What's wrong in making my girlfriend feel good?"

"Oh!" you paused in your tracks, listening to what he had just said - my girlfriend - "Are we dating?"

"Oh, we're not? I thought we had been dating for like a month!" he chuckled, looking you up and down. Your cheeks flushed at that and he enveloped your waist with his right arm, continuing to walk.

"You didn't even ask me! How unromantic!" you complained as he grinned, looking at you sideways, with those loving eyes that told you he treasured you.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, before kissing your cheek fondly

"Well yeah, I guess," you joked and he laughed, opening the car door for you. When he sat down on his seat and put his seatbelt on, he looked at you as if he had something to tell. You looked back curious, waiting for him to talk.

"I saw cameras in there but I thought you wouldn't mind," he said. Your eyes widened, your cheeks flushed, you screamed hitting him on the shoulder and he laughed.

"How could you not tell me??" you screamed.

"I mean, let's not ignore your kink!"

Oh god.

[borkthemork]

Apartment 106 on a July night was usually quiet. It sat in some strip of land that no one really cared about, was part of a safe neighborhood, and really, what else could she ask for?

As one of the better apartments Marcy bought on the Eastside of LA, she always saw the place as a net positive in her book. It had amenities, space bigger than a motel room by a long shot, and a landlord who somehow didn't haggle her every few weeks over rent. Mainly because she sent them on time. Or that she got anxious over missing rent entirely to the point she loaded her savings accounts up the wazoo.

It worked, however. The building became her home after she placed up decor here and there, all mixed with some Vagabondia coffee mugs in her own coffee stand. 

Or the distant Pikachu clock above her door.

Ten years of staying in one place could do that. She learned to love the space and did what she could to have it love her back.

And in any other instance, she wouldn't have worried over being judged for her own living space. A month prior changed that.

Some of her living arrangements had been changed. The guest bedroom that once resided countless roommates was being used again for a kiddo named Kamon. Her office wasn't an office anymore; all of the computers and outlets were packed into boxes outside the door, and what replaced that office was a makeshift bedroom. One that her best friend, Anne Boonchuy, would sleep in for the time being.

At least until she could get back on her feet, and find a permanent place of residency.

For tonight, Marcy wanted to get the place ready for the morning. It had been a few weeks since the new shift in routine, and now she needed to worry over dusting the drawers. Sprinkling more water onto her succulents. Everything that could tell her two new roommates that hey, the place was autonomous and Marcy definitely knew what she was doing.

After adulting for thirty so years, she must've been good at this by now, but Marcy's enthusiasm came short of doubt.

And as she rubbed the plate in front of her — trying her best to grate off the muck stuck to its surface — a cricket soothed her from the open window. Soothed her enough to focus on the rush of water. At how they trickled down her palms, reminded of lilypad bog and petrichor, of previous summer vacations.

When she turned, Marcy yelped and snatched her plate before the thing could shatter.

In front of her, a curly-haired child stared at her from the dining table. He wore his red plaid pajamas, their hands curled lightly on the chair's back post, never releasing.

"Oh Frog, hey Kamon!" Anne's kid continued staring from where he was, and Marcy quickly put the plate down, patting her chest as if it would actually do anything. Well, worth a try in her book. "I didn't see ya' there, you little rascal, I always forget you're so quiet." 

Kamon nodded. He fumbled with their fingers, pressing a nail lightly into the wood as they watched her. And Marcy only stared back, more confused by the second.

She turned the tap. Let the rushing water trickle into the drain. "Is everything alright?"

He didn't seem lost. The only thing off about him was the constant flickering in his eyes. They remained on her yet still paned to something opposite from the kitchen — almost to somewhere toward the conjoined dining room, or the hallways nearby. 

And that was when Marcy listened keenly to the silence. It was a thin melody, one that grew louder the more she focused on it alone. 

The specific tunes came familiar. Of college years driving down empty lanes, radios blasted with lyrics that definitely weren't the typical pop and jam — but of acoustics, a woman's soft voice. 

"Is...is your mom blasting dodie?" 

Kamon shrugged, his mouth moving softly without a word. 

"Oh, you don't know them." Really, it had been thirty years since those musicians got involved with the music scene. So Marcy wracked her scalp with her fingers. Tried her best to articulate. "Well, they're an old artist that your mom and I listened to circa 2000s. Acoustics, that kind of deal." She pressed her lips a moment. "How long has she been using the speakers?" 

Kamon inspected one palm for a second, then showed it to Marcy. One finger down. 

"Four hours?" Marcy looked flabbergasted at him. "It's already midnight." 

Four hours wasn't a big number compared to Marcy's moments — listening to three days of indie rock could do that to a person — but to know Kamon couldn't get sleep became concerning. Kamon had a curfew. The lil’ guy had school in a few weeks. 

She wasn't going to have Kamon go through the same hustle and bustle she did. Not by a long shot!

So Marcy closed the tap shut. Grabbing the comforters from the couch, she strode toward the hallways. It didn't take much of a brainer to know Kamon tailed behind, both following the faint music from the walls, and trying hard to discern the lyrics that seeped through.

Marcy heard the speaker loud and clear despite it all. She had the same soft voice she listened to long ago, the same way her melodies lilted and thrummed the length of her body as if like a ghost. It wasn't hard to see why Anne blasted her music, even when it became rightfully obvious that the walls weren't thick enough for this.

Especially when Marcy stood rooted at her door, the muffled words sounding more like a haunting with how it reverbed from the walls.

Wow, kinda nostalgic if she had to be honest.

Marcy looked over at Kamon and found that he was nowhere to be found, only for the familiar hair tufts to pop out from behind a corner. Reassured that they were there, she pulled her attention back to the door. And sighed deeply to herself.

Welp. Here goes.

Marcy pressed her ear to the wood. She waited, letting the music shake her ear drums as she tried to hear anything from the other end. If Anne was bawling her eyes out. Or if Anne kept silent all the way.

She rapped upon the door with four knocks.

"Anna Banana, are you in there?"

The music rumbled on, then Marcy repeated the four knocks  — louder this time.

"Anne? It's Marcy, I want to talk to you."

With dodie vibrating the doorway, Marcy wondered if Anne had fallen asleep on the other side. Maybe Anne was beyond the entrance, face-down on the bed sheets — going through the craziest year of her life — and yet she found peace in rest. That even though twenty years went down the toilet...she understood what she wanted.

Yeah. With the context of these sapphic songs, the latter sounded likely, and was probably the reason as to why the music stopped entirely. That and how Anne popped her head out from the entrance. "Hey, Mar-mar." 

"Oh heyyyyyy—oh." Marcy coughed at the bloodshot eyes that stared back. "I heard the music, are you doing okay in there?"

"I'm doing fine." Now that Marcy had a chance to see her, she didn't look fine. With her hair knotted up like a bird's nest and her voice harsh as sandpaper, it would be surprising to think she wasn't. "Sash sent songs in the chat and they kinda messed me up."

Marcy looked over her shoulder. Right into the absolute darkness of Anne's room. "Is it dodie?" 

"Oh, you know it." Anne sniffed hard. "Dodie gets it. She does."

Marcy couldn't help her smile. She was like that once when she'd been thirteen years old. Crazy how long that had been. Or the fact Anne decided to come back to dodie after all this time. "Yeah, she really does. Although, you might want to crank down the tunes a lil'. Kamon's been saying it's way too loud lately."

Anne scrunched her face. Didn't seem to be from annoyance though, more so confusion. "Have I?"

A nod.

She hissed under her breath. "Shit, I'm really sorry about that. I'll notch it down asap." 

"Hey, it's alright." Marcy chuckled. There was something bizarre in standing right outside Anne's door. As if they had done this. As if there came a childhood memory that she couldn't quite scratch. "You're allowing yourself to understand your identity. It's a pretty big deal, y'know."

"I get that, but it's the beginning weeks, Marce." Anne motioned sluggishly to no one in particular. "It's their first year of middle school and I can't make it harder on him than it already is. You know how terrible this month's been."

"Technically, school doesn't start until August." Marcy sucked in a breath. Soft. Barely a whisper in the hallway. "But yeah, that's important. Are you okay though? You look like you've barely slept a wink." 

Anne shrugged a little, voice unsure. "Is it that bad?" 

Marcy bit her lip. "Well, you're still in your uniform." 

"It's bad." 

"Yeah." 

Her best friend rubbed under her eyes, taking a deep, rugged breath through her nose. Everything about it screamed tired. And Marcy's hand reached out to Anne's shoulder, watching her expression ease when she did so. Still exhausted, but enough.

"Like you said," Anne mumbled, “classes don't start until next month, so I'll hold on. It's not like I'm gonna drop dead from exhaustion or anything." 

Marcy pressed her thumb more to Anne's clothed shoulder. Wondered if the flinch Anne gave was good or bad. Probably good.

"Anna Banana, do you want some headphones?" Her words drifted between them, allowing the weight of each to occupy the space. "I've got some spares in the closet and I don't mind you using them at all."

Marcy had no clue what Anne was thinking at that point when she said that, but for once, she tried not to think too far ahead. Not when Anne already started to rub the back of her neck. The clear hesitancy on her face. "You...you sure? My hair's not really the best right now. There’s probably birds in there for all I know." 

"It'll be fine." Marcy softly smiled. "These are old headsets anyways, if you use them I'm not gonna judge. Heck, I'll let you keep it if you want!"

"Are you really sure about this?”

"Oh yeah, definitely. It removes the original problem anyway, if you think about it. Kamon gets to sleep and you get to listen to your favorite artists whenever you want — it's a win-win for everyone!"

The floorboards creaked slightly. She didn't know if Kamon was spying from the kitchen, but somehow the idea of being surveyed right now didn't sound so bad. Especially when Anne's face — once plagued with grief for the past few months — tugged somewhat into a smile. A gleam clear in her eyes. 

"Has anyone told you you're the best?" 

"Well, I don't recall anyone telling me that but I can try—" Marcy yelped when Anne pulled her forward, now trapped in a tight embrace, the Pikachu clock ticking silently from a corner Marcy couldn't remember. But she knew that Anne at that moment smelled of armpit.

And for some reason, that didn't stop her from hugging back.

Minutes later, Marcy would then find those headsets stored deep in her closet bottom, and dusted them off like they were brand new. She knew it took little time to test if they were still active, and even less so when she traced her steps to Anne's door.

And for Apartment 106 on a July night, Marcy exited the hallway with relief on her shoulders, her hand occupied by a tiny kid's because he wanted to be walked to his bedroom door.

All for them to say goodnight, and good morning.

[sweetbunnykook]

Only You (9)

Word Count: 13,197 // [SPOILER IN WARNINGS] angst (mention of double homicide, gore/blood, miscarriage, mistreatment of a corpse, panic attack), smut (period sex, cunnilungus, blowjob, throatpie, body worship, mommy kink), brief fluff, toxic relationship, manipulation

Photographer!Jungkook X Noona!Reader

Summary: Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.  

A/N: If you are still reading this series, I wish you the best of luck. Please leave a review if you can and let me know your thoughts. - 🐰

You were every mother’s blessing – kind, caring, intelligent, obedient. She watched you stumble and fall many times but you manage to catch your footing with a smile. Despite your yearning for independence, your mother kept you in her embrace as all mothers do. In some ways, it would be loving; things like helping you choose the venue for your wedding and holding your hand while you inquire about using chiffon instead of silk for your veil. You were such a wonderful daughter that she didn’t wish for a son even when you decided to carve your own path rather than follow your father’s footsteps into medicine and entrepreneurship.

It’s why your mother sits in the parking lot of your apartment complex, dumbfounded beyond belief, teeth gritted. She looks up at your window to see Jungkook staring back down at her, unable to read him. She holds his steel hard gaze, daring him to look away or pull the curtains close.

He doesn’t take the bait.  

Pulling the shifting gear and rolling out of the parking lot, she peels her eyes away and takes several deep breaths.

There is no way on God’s green Earth that you fell in love with a middle-class photographer. Of all people, of all the men in your circle, affluent men coming from money both new and old, you couldn’t have fallen for a lowly photographer who doesn’t care about you enough to know his place and leave you be. How could Jungkook not know that you aren’t meant to live like this? How could he be so selfish as to hope for marriage when he could barely afford the ring he wants to slip onto your finger?

Your mother throws back her head and cackles. The only reason you were able to study abroad during college, the only reason why you could walk into an upscale neighborhood and look like you belong there, is because she followed the natural way. She never loved your father, not even once, but he was a good husband and an even better financial asset. Not only did she not have to lift a finger after tying the knot, but she also became part of the untouchables.

There’s a sense of power and invincibility that comes with wealth. It comes softly, like a whisper of wind that keeps a dandelion intact; it’s invisible to the eyes but she can feel it when she shakes hands with politicians, celebrities, businessmen and women, important people doing important things.

It took nearly twenty years of work. Getting close to the Kims, making sure you attend the same school as their children, running into Namjoon when you visit their vacation home, and letting his parents witness what a great wife you would be for him – it was all going so well. Puberty treated you well enough too that she didn’t need to consider getting you minor cosmetic procedures when you graduated high school. Sure, you could lose a few more pounds, but you were healthy and fit to give the Kims, and her, the grandchildren who will guarantee a new generation of wealth and prosperity. Gone are the days when she could only dream about creating the perfect family, respected by the social circle and the general public. You, her lifelong project, made it all come true.

Yet, life proves to be cruel once again.

As soon as she set her eyes on Yori she knew she was trouble. She didn’t object when you stayed out later and wore a bit more makeup than what was deemed graceful for a woman of your age. She knew that if she’d raised her voice, you would be compelled to rebel (it didn’t help that you were as stubborn and thick-skinned as your father). However, she wanted to warn you, just a tiny bit, that Yori is the kind of girl whose eyes strayed to find a new target and you were a hair away from standing right in the middle of that mark. She knew, because Yori had the kind of eyes she had as a twenty-year-old woman who climbed that very same social ladder.  

You were such a good daughter, so intelligent and transparent, that she believed you would have the backbone to come into your mother’s arms at the first sign of danger. It looks like you were just as clueless as the rest of the sheep you called your bridesmaids.

A Jeep honks from the next lane as she swerves into the street and bangs on the steering wheel with the heel of her hand, her Cartier bracelets clanking together in unity. The light turns yellow and she stomps on the accelerator, lurching the vehicle forward.

At the end of the day, she knew it was her fault. She could have warned you earlier, planted seeds of doubt in your mind, even pull Namjoon back into your arms if you realized soon enough; but alas, your day was chosen to be one of desolation and misfortune. Her poor daughter, the apple of her eye, the one precious gem of a person who would propel the family into royalty, whisked right away from under her nose.

She shakes her head, tires screaming as she veers into the next semi-busy lane, watching the sun disappear into the horizon as the familiar roads darken.

Letting you mourn on your own terms was the biggest mistake of her life, second to not following her gut feeling and keeping Yori away from you. She knew about this photographer lover of yours who has the face of an angel and seem to follow you like a puppy wherever you go. From a distance, she’d watched you wrap your arms around him and kiss him with such fervor in a public space she felt bile rise for the first time looking at you – her most precious creation acting like a hussy for all to see.

The boy seemed to be in love with you as much as you depended on him. She waited until you would be sick of him like the ones you took to bed after the wedding night (yes, she knew about your shameful conquests). She waited countless nights, praying that you would come to your senses, that you won’t refuse her advances, until months later she sees you living with him and sharing meals and completely forgetting about her. Yes, she had been mainly focused on making sure the investors haven’t pulled out and that you still had a name for yourself after the wedding. It wasn’t an ideal response as a mother because you needed help and she knew you’d throw a hissy fit but you must understand that while you had been taking men to bed, she had been busting her ass saving what’s left of the family pride.

The Kims also attempted to salvage your reputation, but they won’t do so at the cost of Namjoon’s name. The true reality is that parents will only care for their own blood in the end.

It’s why she finds herself confused and drenched with sweat when the car halts in front of the white villa lined with jasmine bushes. There’s a new gate installed, probably to keep away reporters during the first few weeks after the wedding incident hit the papers, and it momentarily angered her that she must now ask an intercom to enter a space that should have been a gift to you from the Kims.

Her hands tighten around the steering wheel with the intent to squeeze something warm and pulsing. She still remembered the day Yori knelt on the floor of your dressing room and she still remembered the strands of hair that squeezed her fingertips as she tore the whore’s flower hair clip off her head. The yelling, the panic, the uproar, the whispers that came from the guests – it was humiliation to the tenth degree.

Wiping the bead of sweat off her temples with the back of her hand, your mother hushes the engine and places the key in her coat. She steps out of the vehicle and marches up to the gate and buzzes in, huffing when her heels wobble on the cobblestone steps.

A few heartbeats later, Yori’s voice pours through her ears and reached into the crevices of her scalp like a dull headache.

“Hello?”

She leans forward. “It’s me.”

There’s a long pause before the gates click open and the stone stairway up to the front door reveals itself with a moist gleam. The garden sprinklers die down just as she steps onto the platform and makes her way up to the front door where Yori is leaning against, one hand on her stomach, the other hand tucking her fringe away from her face. She notes that the knitted silk dress, tied above the swell of her belly, is from the latest Prada collection.

“What a pleasant surprise,” she smiles. “Come in. Welcome to my home. I apologize for the mess…I had a baby shower earlier today and help is gone for the rest of the week.”

Your mother wanted to rip that smug grin off her face but she kept her eyebrows still and her lips soft.

“Excuse my intrusion.”

She walks into the spacious living room, eyes quickly glancing at the stacks of presents on the couch and the empty bottles of sparkling water and champagne sitting on the coffee table. She can recognize, just from the color of the boxes, that the gifts were not cheap. Had you married Namjoon, this would have been your palace.

“I’m in the middle of decorating the nursery. If you don’t mind…” Yori says, not bothering to look back as she makes her way up the stairs. She didn’t have to turn around to see that steam is coming out of your mother’s ears. “Can you help me with unrolling the mat in the hallway? I can’t bend over very well.”

Your mother trails behind in place of answering, watching Yori’s hip swing side to side as she makes her way up the stairs and then turn to leer down at the older woman. It’s a bit laughable, Yori thinks, as your mother pretends not to ogle at the stacks of Tiffany blue boxes tucked beside the living room couch like shoeboxes. Her face flushes when she meets Yori’s eyes once more but she doesn’t comment as she follows the young woman into the hallway just a few feet away from the stairs. Her head turns at the smell of fresh paint to see the nursery on her left, the door left open as if the room expected her arrival.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

Yori fixes her fringe once more. “He needed to attend a conference in Ginza. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

“There’s no need.” She leers at the stacks of presents next to the crib. More aquamarine boxes, all neatly stacked according to size with the smallest at the top.

The younger woman leans against the tall, heavy vase next to the wall leading into the hallway to the East wing. “If you say so.”

There’s no reason for your mother to be here. It should be you instead, coming back to tie loose ends and perhaps inquire about Namjoon’s injuries if you cared enough. Compared to your mother, you didn’t have much of a backbone when it comes to relationships and it makes it so easy for men to take what they want and go. It’s what made you a bore, what gave Yori the power to pull Namjoon right into her bed and have him calling her name like a prayer.  

“Did you forget basic manners?” Your mother finally snaps, beady eyes darting from side to side to admire the nursery that could have been a snapshot from a furniture magazine. “Not even offering a glass of water?”

Yori only smiles, motioning to the unrolled mat slumped against the wall, adjacent from the staircase.

“I assumed whatever you wanted say would be quick as you came uninvited. You’d probably think the water is poisoned even if I offered any way.”

The older woman glances at the rug – no doubt imported from Dubai with its elegant coloring and silk touch – then walks over to it before tracing her fingers around the rolled edges. She shouldn’t have accepted to do such demeaning housework but given how she pulled into the driveway unannounced and that the woman is heavily pregnant with no help around, it was only fair. She may have left behind her patience with Jungkook but not her manners.  

“Why did you have to pick that day to tell her?”

Yori’s eyebrows raised just slightly before falling back down to its former position. She puts a hand over her stomach and walks towards the giant vase again, rubbing her fingers over the cool lacquered surface. Namjoon’s parents had a thing for porcelain she just couldn’t wrap her head around.

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you wait until the marriage ceremony to tell her you were screwing her husband?”

“Husband?” She cocks her head to the side with an incredulous widening of her pupils. “Last time I checked he only had a fiancée he rarely saw who ran away with some pretty photographer the first chance she got. I’d say that’s far from married.”

Your mother shakes her head. “Answer the question,” she looks down, chin trembling. The world is falling apart, her dreams are nothing but a pebble in quicksand, and you no longer cared. “Please.”

Yori watches, in a way one watches a fly buzzing around a piece of fruit, the older woman bring her hands together in front of her like it has taken all her energy to ask such a question. Maybe for a moment she considers telling the woman the truth. She considers telling her that you broke her heart first, that you had the world succumbing to your every need, that your mother’s greed doesn’t only belong to her but you too because you made Seokjin your lap dog while Namjoon promised you a future. She considers telling her about the night she saw you laying like a swooning damsel in distress as Seokjin – the only man she had to beg for attention – suckle your tits like you were getting paid for it. She considers telling your mother that her daughter is the two-faced whore here, not her. She considers telling her that you touched what belonged to someone else first.

But what difference would it make? What would it change? The baby is still due in a handful of weeks, Namjoon is set to take over the company once he gets his shit together and his nose heals, and you’re perfectly happy with a new and exciting boyfriend of yours. The truth doesn’t set anyone free, it just makes sure the shackles aren’t too tight.

Yori turns her moist eyes away towards the living room downstairs. She walks over to the railing, resting her wrist on the copper before she stares down at the half-eaten cake on the coffee table with utmost disgust, as if she can still smell the overly sweet frosting with too much blue and pink dye. Catching her voice, she brings the smile back onto her face.

“I picked that day,” she turns her head, just slightly to catch your mother’s expression. “Just because I wanted to watch her look as pathetic as you do now.”

Your mother’s lips part, hands falling to her sides.

“It just happened. That’s all there is to it.”

“That’s…all?”

Yori chuckles, her empty gaze falling back down to the cake. “That’s all.”

Years of planning, years of giving you the best education the country has to offer, years of making sure you never have to suffer as she had, years of shaking hands and kissing the ground the Kims walk on, only for this girl without new or old money to come and…

Before your mother can think, she lunges forward and grabs Yori by the ends of her hair, twisting the locks around her wrist as the younger woman gasps and shrieks. Her swollen stomach hits your mother’s side as she screeches and uses both hands to grab at her taught hair, pulling away to place as much distance she can. The heel of her ankle catches the edge of the first step and she watches the older woman’s eyes widen as she slams, back first, into the steps and then bounce off the next step as her jaw and skull slams into the copper pipe railing. Yori’s stomach hits the corners of the last several steps before the swell of her belly squeezes inwards, the final gurgling scream ripping out of her throat as her vision turns black and the house falls in silence.

It all happened so fast. Your mother watches with her hands over her ears, chest pounding and bracelets clattering as her limbs turn cold and her knees buckle.  

Her eyes widen, more and more, as the pool of blood around Yori’s head expands until there lays maroon halo around her crown. She’s lying flat on her stomach and it takes another moment for the trembling woman to realize that, in the silence save for her own labored breathing, the bump is no longer there.

“Oh my god…”

Curling over to the side, your mother’s jaw falls open and the remnants of her early lunch spills over one of Yori’s shoes ledged between the railing and the first step. She empties her stomach until there is nothing left, her knuckles white as she grips the railing for support. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she descends down the staircase, back pressed against the wall and eyes darting from the body to the tinted windows with burgundy curtains tied to the side. When she reaches the body, she trips over Yori’s limp feet as she quickly dashes to the living room to draw the curtains close, her neck craning from side to side as she finds any opening where an imaginary eye might witness the ultimate sin. It was only when she finds herself in the kitchen, washing her hands that she realized she had, in fact, stolen two lives.

Yori, and the baby who never had the chance to see daylight.

…

You’re sitting in a bathroom stall, turning over the small flash drive between your fingers when you hear the clattering of heels against polished tile and the sound of handbags slumping on the counter. One of the women walks into the stall next to yours, undoing the tampon wrapper as if she were scouring for the winning lottery number written on the string.

“Did you see Jin with her again?” The woman outside of the stall says and you recognize her by voice. She works for the accounting department and regularly walks into your office for weekly reports.

“I was keeping an eye of him. It’s annoying that they work together now so he’s always all over her.”

No doubt this conversation is about you.

“Tell me about it. I bet they’re fucking, you saw how he looked at her.”

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” The toilet flushes and you can hear her shrugging her skirt back up to her thighs.

You hear a gasp. “Oh my god, you’re right. It’s that young guy who keep bringing her lunch, right? She didn’t break up with him?”

The stall opens and both women are in front of the counter. You’re stuck in your seat, not knowing whether to kick open the door or to interrupt the conversation but with Seokjin’s flash drive in your clammy hands, you struggle to even breathe.

“They’re still together. Looks like that photographer dick is too good to give up for the office hunk.”

They laugh like hyenas – that high, shrieking kind of laugh that makes their red lipstick bleed onto the corners of their mouths.

“They’re so out of her league. What do they even see in her? She’s painfully average. The only thing she’s got going on is a good wardrobe.”

You keep your head lowered when they walk past your stall as if they could see you. They pull on the paper towel lever until they can rip a generous piece and wipe their hands.

“She’s rich. She’s probably only working here because it keeps her humble or some bullshit like that. You know how girls with daddy’s money are, thinking they’re doing charity for working like the rest of us-”

You don’t hear the rest of their conversation, glad that your face no longer feels hot but you’re angered all the same. Jungkook’s visits, for this reason, had made you nervous in the beginning because you know they’ll talk and come up with their own little villain fantasy about you. It doesn’t bother you as you keep work separate from life (something Jungkook had been interrupting much to your discomfort) but hearing it in person ignited the kind of angry tears that has you cursing at yourself for letting yourself be disturbed by it.

You grab your handbag off the hook, place the flash drive back in your pocket, and unlock the stall before pushing the door open. You wash your hands in haste as the air had become suffocating in the aftermath of the two women. Wiping your wet hands down your black slacks, you let your wavy hair down and let it frame your face to hide your flushed cheeks, making sure that your eyes are no longer moist and your nose isn’t pink. What a way to end a workday.

When you arrive back at the office, most of your coworkers are gone except for the new interns organizing papers for tomorrow and the occasional workaholics making coffee in the makeshift cafeteria. You just hope you won’t run into the two women if they choose to swing by for whatever reason but, thankfully, it was never a common occurrence. They never did above the bare minimum any way.

A sigh of relief leaves your lips when you slump back down your office chair, squeezing your nose bridge as a wave of exhaustion wracks havoc in your pulsing head.

“There are some more sandwiches in the fridge, please help yourself if you’d like.” A student intern says as she carries a crumpled file under one arm, peering from above your divider.

“Oh!” You exclaim, your head darting towards the room Sora left in a mess before turning back to the girl. “Thank you, I’ll help myself. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She gives a short nod before leaving, the glass door squeaking as the office once again is filled with the sound of coffee machines whirring and papers shredding.

The USB flash drive sits heavy in your pocket as you wave goodbye to the last person leaving your department with a cup of coffee. She nods, smiling, and pushes out the heavy glass door and you silently hope she won’t forget to return the mug before leaving the building. You listen to the clacking of her heels fading before turning back to the work computer still logged into your account. The saturated blue screen is harsh on your vision and you find yourself squeezing your eyes shut, turning to look at the clock on the wall momentarily to keep yourself grounded.

Jungkook can call at any minute as your shift is coming to an end.

Maybe it would be easier to do this with your phone turned off but knowing him, he would worry enough to drive over to make sure you’re safe.

Within the gray walls that surround your cubicle, you should feel secure. Yet, some part of you wonders if he would suddenly appear behind you and wrap you in his arms before asking you what you’re up to. In this nightmare of a scenario, you can also feel the antagonizing gaze of the two women.

Looking back down at the USB, you’ve come to realize that you have bigger things to worry about. Some part of you feels just as disgusting as a cheater taking off her ring in the presence of another man.

What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

You’ve rehearsed the same mantra in your head at least a hundred times within the same hour (before you had the unfortunate chance to overhear that unpleasant conversation) and it sickens you that this is a phrase that Namjoon would have used to justify his time with Yori. It’s a cheater’s mentality – a cowardly way of shifting responsibility away from themselves without considering the consequences when the truth comes to light.  

With a sigh, you pull the flash drive out of your pocket and flip the black casing open until the lid hangs off its hinges to reveal the silver end. You look around once more, taking a deep breath, and push the end into the appropriate slot of the system unit. The USB flashes a neon green light, pulsing as it loads, before it dims and a small ping pulls your attention back to the screen.

The file explorer window expands, showing a ZIP file among an array of photos that had you squinting to observe. You jolt straight from the seat as your phone rings. Cursing under your breath as you note an incoming call. You’re just about to turn back to the screen when you recognize that the number flashing across your screen isn’t Jungkook’s but your mother’s. She never called at this time and if she did, she would have texted you first to make sure you weren’t in a meeting.

Just as you reach for the phone, it stops ringing and you contemplate turning it off. But something tells you you should have taken the call. When the phone rings again, causing you to flinch, you let it vibrate twice before swiping across the screen.

In exactly five minutes, you will regret ever picking up the call. In ten minutes, you’re running for your life.

…

Jungkook paces back and forth with his thumb between his teeth. If he bit his nails any shorter, he would pierce through skin. Your voice still rings in his ear as you cry into the phone, your tires screaming through the speaker as you speed through the streets back to the apartment. He’s sick with worry, wondering if you crashed into a tree of if you decided – on a whim – to handle this situation yourself. Because you called him immediately after you left work, he has a feeling you wouldn’t do anything stupid but today has been especially unpredictable.

First, your mother coming to meet him. Second, the same woman pushing Yori down the stairs and threatening you to take care of it. If he’d heard you correctly, the old wench even mentioned she would make his life a living hell if you don’t head over immediately. Some mother you are. It pisses him off to no end that you had to live with her for half of your life but it makes him even more upset that you’ve been hiding your mother’s behavior, throwing excuses about how much she worries when she’d call in the mornings and leave voicemails that you delete without listening.

He changes into a pair of jeans and an old university sweatshirt that is a bit too tight on the cuffs. When he hears the sound of your heels clack on the other side of the door, he barely had the time to wrap his head around such a God-given opportunity.

As soon as the door swings open you’re falling into his arms, wracked with sobs as he engulfs your entire torso in his arms. He presses your head further below his neck, reaching behind you to grab his coat off the hanger and wrap it around you before kicking the door close in case a neighbor passes by. You can’t bear to lift your head, trembling as your teeth chatter and your pupils are wide with fear. He’s never seen you like this – not even during the wedding night – and it makes his insides squeeze as if someone had reached in him and pressed a hand against his organs.

“I-I don’t know w-” you sob, “I don’t know w-what to do. I can’t breathe. Jungkook-”

He hushes you softly, threading his fingers through your hair with his thumbs curling around your ear. He tilts your head up towards his gaze, watching your tears trail down your face and onto the coat. Between gasps, you’re wailing, your throat tightened to the point that even his name sounds like nails on chalkboard on your lips.

“Noona, you have to breathe for me. Inhale,” he brings air into his nostrils as demonstration, “and exhale. Can you do that for me?”

You nod, swallowing first before you mimic and close your eyes. Jungkook brings a hand up to your chest, digging underneath the coat to feel it pounding against your ribcage.

“Keep breathing, noona. It’s going to be okay, keep breathing.” He rubs his warm palm over the chiffon and you find yourself leaning your forehead against his chest in exhaustion.

You wish you could stay in his embrace forever. Locked inside this warm and unassuming apartment, away from your mother, away from the past that has now resurfaced in the worst way imaginable – you wish you can curl into his arms and never leave. That…or you just want the world to swallow you in a deep well and leave you to starve.

“We have to tell the police.” You tremble. You can’t imagine the repercussions, not to mention the heartache of seeing your mother behind bars. She’d rather hang herself than end up in prison, you know that much. You’d sworn to your father before his passing that you’d keep her safe and you’re already thinking of running away.

“Noona…”

“We do. We…I have to. I-I mean it was an accident,” you’re suddenly peeling yourself away from him, bringing your hands up to rub your face. “They’ll give her m-maybe three or four years at most, right? If it was an accident it won’t be…”

Jungkook comes up behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders and rubbing up and down. You’re shaking again, tears streaming even quicker than before and the nausea is causing you to falter from side to side.

“Kookie, I don’t know what to do. Please tell me what to do, I’m going crazy. I don’t know what to do.”

He places his forehead against the crown of your head, staring into the distance. You feel his fingers tighten around your arm before he’s wrapping his arms around your shoulders and resting his weight upon your collarbones.

“Do you trust me, noona?” He whispers.

The fridge hums in the distance. You nod.

“Yes…I trust you. With my life.”

When he doesn’t reply, you turn your body, slowly, as if you were anticipating a monster and not a man, until you can look up at his face. He’s rubs his thumbs over your tears and moves down to your chapped lips, swollen and pink from your incessant gnawing. Your lips part just slightly as you exhale, keeping your eyes locked onto his loving eyes. He looks so angelic under the kitchen lights, the yellow bulbs blurred by the moisture in your eyes to form a halo around his long fringe. His hair is parted in the middle to form a curtain around his structured face, casting a shadow over his eyes in the semi-darkness. You can’t see him clearly with the lights behind him but you can sense his confidence, his reassuring grip on your cheeks; he’s no longer the boy from the night before but a man who is willing to keep the promise he made to you.

“I can help you.” He whispers softly once more, his voice lowered. “If you take me to the body…I can help you, noona.”

He holds your gaze, his thumbs still rubbing softly over your cheeks as if to coax the words into your skin. The implication isn’t lost on you but your body reacts first, fingers shaking as a fresh wave of sweat prickles down your back.

“W-What do you…” you trail off as your breathing grows heavy. Jungkook puts a hand on your chest once more as he did before, rubbing softly over your chest to calm your pounding heart.

He holds you close, breathing in your skin once more as his own eyes sting with unshed tears. Fate is a terrible thing and for every moment of bliss with you, he must pay the price; except, this price is a new opportunity to secure you by his side and earn your mother’s silent approval. It’s okay, Jungkook thinks, he can do this for you. He has the resources, the will, the strength, the plans – the only thing he can’t predict is your mental well-being in the aftermath.

Will you lose respect for him? Will you still love him? One thing he was sure of was that this was the only chance to keep your mother from arranging a marriage partner for you. He must go through it to not only save your sanity, your mother, but your answer when he puts one knee on the ground and opens the velvet box he keeps on top of the fridge for the perfect time. Oh how the universe responded so quickly to the day’s worries.

“Back then…when you said you would…”

Kill

“…You would do that for me. You really meant it, baby?”

Jungkook brings your head back under his chin and keeps you there, rocking from side to side as if to lull you to sleep.

“I meant every word. I’m not afraid, noona, not if it means I can protect you and your family.” His eyes darken as he tangles his fingers into your hair, twirling the ends of your waves between his fingers. “You love me, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Then I need you to listen to me.”

With great reluctance, he pulls you away and holds your palm in both of his larger hands. Your eyes are closed, whether from fatigue or concentration he doesn’t know until your brows scrunch when he speaks.  

“Call your mother when I tell you to and tell her you’re on your way over. If she asks why you didn’t answer her previous calls, tell her you had an emergency at work. Reassure her and make sure she doesn’t touch anything more than she’s probably already touched by now. Don’t mention that I’m coming with you, understand? She might panic and bring attention to herself if there’s any witnesses.”

You nod continuously, creating a mental checklist. Call, inform, excuse, reassure, move.

“And noona?”

You look back up into his eyes.

“You…you won’t hate me after tonight…would you?”

How could you fathom it? With his warm, sincere stare and willingness to walk to the ends of earth for someone as plain and unlovable as you, you should be on your knees worshipping him. You don’t understand how he can think of you hating him when he had so willingly put his entire life at risk without reluctance. You aren’t asking him to fetch a forgotten carton of milk at the corner store. You’re asking him to clean up the mess your mother made, a mess that can tear your entire world apart, a mess that has nothing to do with your boyfriend who has no boundaries to prove his devotion.

You shake your head. “I could never,” you breathe.

You hold him this time, letting his body bow towards your trembling figure as he breathes in the scent of sweat and perfume on your neck. You give him a moment of peace. You wanted him to remember this touch as after this night is over, you don’t know if you’ll be the same person. You don’t know if he’ll be either.

He goes over the plan once more and leads you to his car. When Jungkook straps you into the passenger seat and turns the ignition key, you curl your fingers around your shaking knees. He notices your anxiety and takes the closest hand in his before letting your palm rest over the gear shift. He places his own hand on top of yours, gripping tightly when he shifts and maneuvers the car out of the parking lot and onto the road before unclenching.

The sky is pitch black and the moon stalks from behind. You count every tree, read every sign, tense at every sign of a police car passing by, and sniffle when your burning eyes refuse to calm. You don’t register where you are until Jungkook lets go of your hand on the shifting gear and undo his seatbelt. You’re inside the garage of his studio, surrounded by wires, cardboard boxes, plastic bins, and office supplies. When you grasp his arm, letting out a small cry, he hushes you instantly, bringing your hand up to his lips to place a tender kiss on your knuckles.

“I’ll be quick, noona. I just need to get some things, okay? I’ll be right there-” he points to the very back of the car – “in view.”

You swallow, nodding before uncurling your grip from his arm.

It takes every ounce of self-restraint for Jungkook not to coo at your desperation. He missed this dependency of yours (he had only seen it during the wedding night and the necklace argument) and for once he wonders if he went a bit too far with his role as the sweet and needy boyfriend. He’s not acting in a way that he doesn’t want to but he is guilty of dramatizing some of his pleas and affectionate touches. He knows, in his head, that he is a man. He’s stronger, taller, capable of committing a crime and not just cleaning its aftermath, and will eventually be the father of your children. He’ll tug his collar open to expose his vulnerabilities, but he will show you his strength too. Tonight is a blessing from the universe that will, finally, keep you where you belong: at his side, looking at him, and needing only him.

You watch as Jungkook swings open the trunk of his car and load three large plastic bins and pile photography equipment – tripods, developer fluids, camera bags, lighting equipment, and even a small monitor. And then you see the last box of supplies: rope, black plastic bags, gloves, masks, bleach, towels, and tape. When his eyes meet yours, he flashes you a small smile between his labored breaths, the kind you’re used to seeing after you make love to him and he’s spent, sprawled on the sheets with an arm over his perspired forehead. The car jolts slightly as pushes the back door shut and hop back into the driver seat, adjusting the temperature in the car, muttering something under his breath, and latching his seat belt back on.

He keeps both hands on the wheel. “Noona…make the call now.”

You’re frozen, hands clasped together on your lap.

“Kookie…”

You’re having doubts. He can see it in the way you can’t even bear to look at him. He digs through your pocket and presses your cell phone on your lap. When the lockscreen awakens to the photo of you two, you feel your heart anchor to the bottom of your stomach.

“I-I can’t do it.” You shake your head. “We have to go to the police. I can’t live without you, I can’t live without mom, we’ll get caught and I-” You press your hands to your face, your hoarse sobs lodged deep in your throat before it rips from your chest in the kind of wailing that makes Jungkook’s own heart squeeze. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Yori either e-even if it means my family…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”

He sees himself in you. He sees himself as the teen boy who let Taehyung drag his scalpel across his father, then his mother, before encouraging him to give it a try. You’re a virgin. Even if tonight worked out perfectly according to his plans, you’d still be a crime virgin. It was your mother who pushed Yori, not you. Knowing how empathetic you are, how tender you are, it might as well be you who pushed the woman down the stairs. He knows your fear all too well and he knows just how quick your hummingbird heartbeat is underneath his coat that you’re wearing. You’re just like him.

“You’re beautiful, noona.” He places a palm over your clasped hands and brings his other hand up to your face, tucking your hair behind your ears and strumming your cheeks with the back of his fingers.

“No one deserves your kindness. It fucking upsets me,” he swallows, allowing his eyes to water, “that even a mother will take advantage of that kindness.”

You sob into his hand, leaning your temple against the head rest. He’s right. How many times have your mother, before Jungkook came into your life, morphed you into something you’re not? The days you spent trying to please her, comparing yourself to other children she would complement to get a reaction out of you, letting yourself be a pawn for when she wanted something from your father that either required money or the right handshake. You still love her above all because she’s your mother but there’s no denying how much it still touches every part of your life from your relationships to your career. Moving away from her and letting her fade into the background was a true feat and it pains you that all that effort crumbled away and you’re left in a bigger mess to clean than before. If only you hadn’t taken the fucking call.

Maybe this was your fault. Maybe, if you hadn’t been such a hard-headed person, she would never had driven over to Yori’s place and none of this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have to get Jungkook involved either, as willing as he is.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Jungkook slouches back into his seat, putting his hands back onto the steering wheel. “Don’t you, noona?”

You nod, keeping your head lowered.

“Then be good for me and call. I’ll take care of you and I’ll take care of everything else. I’ve never broken that promise, not now, not ever.”

Jungkook hopes that’ll work. He’s rather annoyed but not at you, never at you. Why couldn’t she tumble down those stairs too instead of giving you such unnecessary stress? This kind of stain would be terrible for the baby had you been pregnant. It’s tearing him apart watching how different you are now compared to this morning, leaving the apartment in comfort only to come falling into his arms in tears. He came to the conclusion that you’re simply too pure for the world.

Oh how romantic tonight would be if you were honest with yourself all along. Claiming to loathe your mother with the strength of a thousand suns only to act like this when she shows up with baggage. Jungkook can’t blame you for you shared a majority of your life with the wench, but he finds it exasperating that you can’t see how little of your pity people like her deserve. Nevertheless, you wouldn’t be the love of his life if you weren’t so sensitive and caring.

It was with great relief that you mustered the courage to swipe across the phone screen and type your mother’s number.

He clicks open the garage door and the vehicle begins to descend down the elevated lot.

“M-mom? I’m on my way now…c-can you tell me where you are? It’ll be okay…I know mom, I-I’ll be there soon…”

…

You feel eerily calm as Jungkook drives past your mother’s car parked in the front of the gate to circle around the perimeter of the fence. He doesn’t recognize the new gate but he’d climbed over the old ones many times to watch you on the balcony. The metal may have changed but the level of security should be the same given that the villas are built a good distance apart between trees and the residents – people with mostly new money – keep to themselves. Lodged between a large tree and a partial opening in the back gate that is no doubt left ajar by your mother, Jungkook step out of the vehicle and press the door close before coming over to your side.

He’s relieved that you’re no longer in tears but your hands are still freezing cold despite the heat turned to the max inside. Your eyes are wandering and your breaths are labored as you press your body close to Jungkook’s.

Your mother is waiting near the door, her head poking out just slightly in the darkness and you can see the familiar row of bracelets on her wrist. She seems to have aged several years in just the last few months and the reason for her demise is standing next to you.

“Are you insane?” She seethes as she pulls you by the arm into the dark house and keep her eyes on Jungkook whose gaze bore into her skull. “How could you bring another-”

Jungkook barely had the time to secure your grip on his arm when you gasp, flinching back to hit the chess table next to where he’s standing when you see Yori’s pale arm stretched out from beneath a mat. The deep crimson shade of blood had congealed on the marble, partially smudged by the mat above her weighing her corpse down. Deep inside you had hoped that at least the baby could be saved, by some miracle, but the damage is far too great. Accident or not, a police officer finding this scene would not consider a light sentence if you mother decided to confess.

The older woman’s jaw is clenched, no doubt suppressing the panic she too feels hammering inside her as you hang off of Jungkook arm, trembling still. She looks up to your boyfriend and finds herself jolting awake when his eyes are peering down at her. He looks kind, sympathetic, soft, as if he is still sitting across her on your couch, eager to prove that he can be the son-in-law she’s been looking for all along.

“You should head home for the night. I’ll handle the rest.”

She scratches at her bracelets, her nails tugging the gold free from her skin. “B-But…where are you taking her? Anyone will find it if she’s buried in the yard.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer the question.

“Please go home and make sure there are no witnesses. I know you didn’t inform anyone before coming here,” he turns his head towards the body, “so go home as if you were never here. I promise I’ll take care of it.”

It’s evident the older woman is relieved by the way her shoulders slump but her gaze is still firm as she measures her trust into the young man who is in full control of your heart. Your eyes are still on the body when your mother takes your hands in hers and gives a squeeze.

“Sweetheart…” she croaks. She knew she gave birth to such a dependable, obedient daughter. You’re every mother’s dream and she makes a mental note to come back to your apartment with more boxes of food and perhaps make amends. There are far too many misunderstandings and miscommunication; it’s no way for a mother and child to live.

However, when you rip your hands away and take Jungkook’s hand in yours, her face crumbles.

“I don’t ever want to see you again.” You hiss, your voice straining. You’ve never spoken to her like this and didn’t think about doing so until you saw the body, the mess your boyfriend has to clean. “You did this to us.”

“Wh-”

“Leave me alone. Please, mom. Get out of here, okay?” Your eyes glisten and you wipe away the droplets before they have the chance to fall. “It’s…we’re putting our lives on the line for you. It’s the least you can do now…so please…”

Between your pleas and Jungkook’s silence, your mother bites the inside of her cheek from saying anything more and turns back the way you came in. You watch her figure recede into the darkness, her shoes clacking softly on the cobblestone path. She turns back to look at you before the door closes and for once, you earn the most genuine apology you’ve ever received and this time she didn’t even need to open her mouth.

When the door falls back into place, Jungkook gives your shoulders a comforting rub and leads you towards the staircase, reminding you to breathe. He feels a bit more relieved that your mother didn’t raise too much of a ruckus. How could she when he’s the one getting his hands dirty? It’s what the perfect son-in-law will do and after this night is over, he’ll no longer have doubts about her approval. She wouldn’t have a valid argument anyway – not when he had just proved that he’s willing to go to the ends of Earth for your family and stability.

You’re too cute, Jungkook thinks, as you breathe through your nose and exhale through your lips. You’re a mirror image of his virgin self coated in blood, panicked but euphoric, angered but more than relieved to be rid of the parasites that kept him in the sewers.

“H-how are we going to do this?” You breathe, looking up the stairs as if you were expecting Namjoon to be standing there.

“I’ll handle the body. You can help me wipe down the stairs, okay?”

And handle it he did. He first fetched the supplies from the car, making sure once more that there are no witnesses while also keeping you within sight. Even without a severe puncture wound, Yori made quite a mess.

The terror didn’t come from seeing your former friend of years lay in a puddle of her own secretions. Nor did it come from seeing how calm and collected your boyfriend is peering down at the body with something akin to annoyance. No, terror came from how easily your mind and body adapted to helping Jungkook. You had no more tears left to shed when he lifted the mat from the body and placed a plastic covering next to her before rolling her body onto it. The sheet rustles beneath her weight and the stench of iron and urine fills your nostrils, prompting you to place your gloved hand over your nose.

Jungkook seems to know just what to do. He orders for you to wipe the railings first, which you do so with the slowness of a snail climbing a brick wall. The smell of bleach kept the nausea at bay and prompted you to focus on the smaller tasks because you can feel your heart already beginning to race with the sound of your boyfriend dragging Yori by the feet to straighten her posture. When you risked a glance back, you catch yourself feeling irked by the way Jungkook places her fingers so tenderly on her flattened stomach. Even when he’s wearing gloves, you catch yourself glaring at his touch on her skin, at the way his fingers brush over the ring on her finger. It makes you clench your jaw harder, pour more bleach onto the staircase, and wipe down each step with vigor.

She’s dead, she can’t take him from you.

You spray the bleach onto the top step, scrubbing with the heel of your palm as your shoulder fights through aches and pressure. You can do this. If Jungkook kept his promise, you must too. You will never find another man who will devote his entire life to you and for that you must not be too forgiving to those who don’t deserve your kindness, not this time.

All your life it’s one person after another coming to take what they want and leave. This is your lesson to finally take yourself back from them all, to come to terms with how much you gave and how little you received, see that Jungkook was the catalyst you desperately needed. It was no coincidence that when the elevator doors opened that very night of your wedding, he was the person standing in front of you. He was meant to be there holding your shoes as he rescues you away from those who would eventually suck the life out of you. He’s not someone you should be afraid of – no – because he’s your savior.

When you turn back again, Jungkook is slipping Yori’s legs into a large, black plastic bag identical to the one she’s laying on. He uses the bag beneath her to fight friction as he slides her body forward, careful not to bend her body before the duct tape comes into play.

And suddenly, your shoulder doesn’t ache anymore. Your heartbeat slows as you take another deep breath, this time through your lips, and watch his shoulders hunch over and forearm veins protrude.

“Kookie?”

He looks up, hair damp with sweat as it falls over his eyes. The lights from the front lawn, as it filter through dark maroon curtains, casts a red glow on your lover’s skin. When he meets your eyes he’s filled with glee, seeing that you’re no longer panicking and your eyes are clouded with a kind of protective apathy that lets him know you’ve gotten stronger. You’re dipping a toe into his world.

“Yes, noona?” He huffs, straightening his spine and wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his wrist.

“Nothing will happen to us after tonight…right?”

He physically melts at your saccharine voice. You’re worried about him, about whether he’ll still want you after this and if he’ll want you forever. “Of course not, noona. Are you feeling okay? Do you need to rest?” He asks if he hadn’t been the one packing the corpse into a bag.

You shake your head with a sniffle. “…I’m fine.” You’re not sure what to say, so you rub the cleaning cloth between your fingers and shy away from his eyes. “J just wanted to hear you say that.”

A smile spreads across his face, slow but bright as if he had just heard the most amazing thing. You can’t smile back and instead focus back on the floors and the last few inches of the railing.

You make sure to wipe the decorations nearby, in case your mother left any fingerprints on the lacquered surfaces. She can be rather careless in dire situations. You’re lifting yourself off the floor when something catches your eye: a large crib with layers and layers of blankets and fuzzy cloud and star plushies.

“What kind of bedtime stories should we tell our kids?”

Namjoon puts his head on your lap, sighing in relief when his neck is elevated at just the right position to depressurize the knot.

“What about myths? About the constellations and such.”

You giggle, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Isn’t that a little too mature for babies?”

When he doesn’t answer, you wave you hand in front of his eyes. He squints, chuckling. So this is what marriage life is going to be like – he can get used to it. “You’re right, that is a bit too much. Then…hm…they’ll learn about the types of clouds in the sky and we can go from there.”

“Joonie, I love you, but don’t come crying when our kids prefer mama’s stories over papa’s boring myths and random science facts.”

“We’ll see when we get to that point. Either way, you’re stuck with me.”

Asshole.

A fucking good-for-nothing lying asshole.

Gifting the same toys he promised to give to your future children to the same bitch who ruined your life, your family, and your sanity; they deserved each other, you think, and they both deserve to disappear as if they had never existed. The unborn baby inside Yori is innocent but a part of you is elated that he’ll never experience the kind of fatherhood he wanted. You silently wished Namjoon would tumble down the very same staircase you cleaned and joined Yori in a happy couple’s embrace to…

“Kookie?” You call out to your boyfriend who had duct taped the body in a semi-mummified state and used a shibari knot with his jute rope for easy carrying. He’d dragged the body next to the railing and leaned it against one of the stair planks in an upright position so that after he inspects the house for any evidence, he can bring the corpse easily over his shoulder.

“Yes, noona?”

“Where are we going to bury her?”

Jungkook wets his lips. He can’t possibly tell you the process of disposing a body or else you’ll surely fall back into panic so he gives you the simplest answer he can. “I’ll have to keep her body in the freezer in my studio. I’ll look for a place to burn it soon.”

You nod, swallowing as your throat tightens uncomfortably once more. The waves of anxiety come and goes. Jungkook knows how you’re feeling all too well and he wishes he could just hold you in your arms until tomorrow comes. Much to his distain, he knows you’re partly living your fantasy of making Yori pay for her involvement with Namjoon. You no longer love the man but anyone in your shoes wouldn’t deny there is a sense of satisfaction in seeking vengeance after a lifetime of humiliation that dampened your reputation in both your personal and professional sphere. Jungkook prays that getting rid of Yori will eliminate your mind of their presence although he highly doubts it; you’re not always rainbows and flowers. It’s only natural for you to be curious about taking another life when anger consumes logic. Most of these thoughts are fleeting ,which is why you had surprised Jungkook by your composure. He expected screaming at the very least but all you could do was cry.

He understands.

After he watched the life drain out of his parents, Taehyung had watched him cry for the longest time and when the next day came, it was like the world had turned its back while he washed the blood off his hands. The anxiety was terrible – at least for the first month or two – and then it was as if nothing had happened.

Like he learned before and like you’re learning now, it didn’t take much to get rid of a person. Over time, it just became muscle memory, kind of like making your morning coffee half-asleep. Now that you’ve gotten your first taste of the power, he wonders how you’ll cope. Will you fall into despair and regret it all in the morning? Will you be hungry for more? How will you return his most tiresome display of affection? These are questions he can’t answer. But what he does know is that you finally understand what love is in his world.

Love isn’t just about a ring on the finger or a baby in the crib. Love has to hurt. It has to infest your dreams and turn them into nightmares, wreak havoc on your heart, rip off the magnet in your moral compass. It’s why the human heart is caged behind ribs – it can hardly be tamed.

…

As the car lurches behind trees and between unpaved roads, Jungkook notifies your mother about what to do next. It would not raise suspicion for her to leave the country for a few weeks, especially since she had been traveling to speak to investors abroad. It would take some of the burden off his shoulders too; your mother is a cunning woman who fears losing money more than losing you so he had no trouble alluding to her demise if she disobeys. While you look away, he quickly sends a notification to Jimin to make sure the older man will take care of the rest. When he receives an immediate response back, his shoulders slump in relief and he pockets the phone back into his jeans.

When he takes your hand in his again, the other gripping the wheel, you give him the smallest of smiles through the silence.

Three is a crowd. The body folded and hidden in the rear space between his photography equipment makes your head turn every now and then to make sure it doesn’t escape somehow. You’re exhausted beyond belief but Jungkook is here, his palm over your hand on the shifting gear once more, to keep you grounded. The night feels like it might go on forever.

The streets pass by in a blur – nightlife still alive and pulsing with neon signs – and there’s a kind of peace enclosed in the car that you can’t find anywhere else. It’s the comfort in knowing that Jungkook has always been and will always be there for you. Whether to take you from somewhere or bring you to some place, he’s the only person in your life left that you could depend on. As he expertly drives through tight alleyways where gas station surveillance cameras can’t reach him, you’re dozing off with your head against the window.  

“We’re almost there.” He says while running his thumb over your knuckles. There’s blood on his shirt and your neck but you’re too tired to care.

You awaken with a gasp when Jungkook swings the door open; he had been careful not to wake you but you feel enough residual adrenaline to jolt awake at the smallest of sounds. It takes a moment for you to recognize the inside of his garage, the bright LED lightbulb hanging above causing you to squint as your eyes adjust.

Unaware that you’re awake, Jungkook quickly moves to the rear of the car and swing Yori’s body over his shoulders, tightening the ropes around where her neck and feet are to secure his grip. He carries the wrapped body towards the door next to the shelves and kicks it open to reveal several more stocked shelves before coming to a halt at the buzzing freezer. With a free hand, he lifts the lid open and removes several bags of seafood and miscellaneous food items you can’t quite make out before rolling the body inside the interior. He places the bags on top of the body and latches the freezer shut, securing it with a combination lock from one of his bins.

When he steps back and shut the storage door before turning, he’s surprised to see you standing in the doorway, your hair a mess, his coat hanging loose off one shoulder.  

“Do you remember the night after you took my engagement photos? The ones at that same house?”

His brows scrunch slightly in confusion as he nods. There’s a noticeable flush on your cheeks as you breath in and out from your lips, a puff forming in the chill of the garage. You’re half-asleep, the exhaustion resting well deep in your bones but you can’t bring yourself to find your way towards his bed.

“I left my bedroom door open for you. I-I watched you from the balcony and waited for you to come back.”

Jungkook’s lips part, something foreign stirring in his stomach as the coat weighs down your shoulders and you don’t stop it from sliding down your arms, letting it pool around your feet. You don’t know why you wanted to confess but it felt right. It felt right to confess to something that isn’t about being an accessory in a crime.  

“Why didn’t you say anything, noona?”

You close the distance, putting both of your hands on his chest, over the blood stains on the university sweatshirt. He exhales loudly when you bring him down to your level by a tug of his collar, your lips just a mere centimeter apart.

“Because I wanted you then just as much as I want you now.”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to close the gap between your lips, slamming your body onto the car behind you as he brings one of your legs over his waist to press himself against your heat. Your fingers curl around the nape of his neck and he listens to your squeal as he lifts you fully off the ground and lets you wrap both your legs around him this time. You break the kiss and pepper sweet kisses over the mole on his neck and the smears of dried blood that caked onto his sweatshirt.

“I love you so much,” you whisper, moving your head to the other side of his neck to suckle on his warm skin and feel his pulse through the jugular.

Jungkook quickly throws open the door to the studio and steps into the darkness, his memory allowing him to lead you towards the bathroom without his eyes adjusting. Your eyes burn once more when he reaches behind you to shut the bathroom door close and turn on the yellowed lights with the back of his elbow. When your face comes into view, he sits you on the counter next to the sink and pushes his tongue back in your mouth, your name leaving his lips with a whimper.

He’s terribly hard against your thighs, his length straining through his jeans. You tug him forward by the belt as you break the kiss once more and let him rip open your blood and bleach-stained blouse.

“God, you’re so beautiful, noona. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

He moans as you press the heel of your feet up his erection, his voice muffled by skin filling his mouth as he takes the top your left breast spilling from the brassiere on his tongue. You arch to chase the heat of his tongue, back of your head leaning on the mirror behind.

“My good boy…such a good boy…”

The effect your praise has on him is immediate. Jungkook reaches behind his neck and pulls the sweatshirt over his head, ruffling his hair in the process. You watch him unbuckle and tug his belt free from the hoops before unclasping the front of his jeans. Impatient, he circles his arms around you to undo the brassiere, leaning down to kiss the indents on your skin as you slip your blouse off your shoulders and pull the straps down your arms. The coolness of the counter causes a hiss to leave your lips and Jungkook drinks in your state of orgasmic delirium like an aphrodisiac.

It’s a blessing for you to have worn a less difficult pair of pants to shimmy out of. With a short tug, Jungkook slides the waistband of your wool slacks and cotton panties down your ankles. When he pauses, chest rising and falling steadily, you follow his gaze to see a streak of blood in the middle of the light pink fabric.

In the time between your mother’s call and your boyfriend dumping your former best friend’s body in a freezer, your period makes an early appearance. The streak of blood is bright and vibrant, unlike Yori’s blood that oxidized into a deep maroon shade on his tanned skin. Jungkook tugs your pants down your ankles but takes your panties into one hand, his doe eyes coming to rest on the blood before something snaps within him.

He throws the fabric on the floor and hooks his arms beneath your shin, prompting you to gasp as he spreads your thighs apart. He stares down at your dark pubic hair before tracing two fingers up your slit and into the curls. His fingers reappear with your blood, seeping underneath his short nails and the crevices of his nailbed.

“Can I taste you, noona?” He breathes, chest rising and falling even faster. His cheeks are flaming red, the flush reaching his earlobes as his lips part for more air. He feels like he can’t breathe, seeing how beautiful, fertile, and red you are for him.

You’re hesitant, the blood reminding you of what you just done – what he just done – yet the burning in your belly proves that you want this just as much as he does. You barely had the chance to nod before Jungkook pushes his face into your pussy, his tongue lapping the blood on your vulva and clit as his nose buries in your trimmed curls. You taste metallic, as if he’s sucking on a penny, but it’s light and the syrupy texture allows him to take all of your juices in his mouth. When his tongue draws circles around your clit and he presses his lips around the nub like a suction, your fingers immediately grasp his hair from the roots, begging his tongue to fuck your weeping pussy.

Jungkook laps your folds like a starving puppy until you’re arching for him once more, thighs trapping his head where it belongs as your cum gushes out of you with traces with red. Between your blood and your juices, he can’t decide which one tastes better. The metallic tang disappears, leaving a fragrant aftertaste that he can only indulge when he inhales through his nose after swallowing what remains on his teeth. When your knees twitch, Jungkook pulls back to come up for air, watching your expression as your eyes fall to his wet crimson lips, the mess reaching his chin and jaw.

It takes a minute for you to gather yourself together and in your exhaustion a slow but soft smile reaches your lips.

“Does it taste good, baby?”

“Heavenly,” he whispers as he traps your body between his arms and gives you a taste, twisting his tongue deep inside your warm mouth. Your hands stroke the contours of his biceps and triceps, core aching as he groans when you lick your remainings from his chin.

You can tell he’s tired, having to do most of the manual labor. He winces as you knead his shoulders and it makes your chest ache. Even when he’s hurting, he takes care of you first. Your precious boy.

“Turn on the shower for me.”

Jungkook is aching to be inside you but he obeys, turning away to step inside the shower and twist the silver handle lodged into the tile. You stand behind him, moving away just slightly when the water – steadily turning hot – sprays over his hair and onto your breasts. Just as he’s about to turn around you circle your arms around his waist and reach into his jeans, palming his throbbing cock before pulling his jeans and briefs down his ankles. He steps out of the tight fabric, watching the remnants of Yori’s blood spiral down the drain as you kick the fabric in front of his toes.

The shower hose is harsh on his head but he can’t seem to pull away, one arm holding onto the wall for purchase, when you cushion your knees with his wet, blood-stained jeans. He can’t get any harder watching water drip from the ends of his hair down to your erect nipples, sliding down between the valley of your breasts and onto your soft stomach.

You’re delighted to see his cock twitch, taking your bottom lip under your teeth as you look up at him.

“You want mommy to take care of you, Kookie?”

He nods, exhaling as his abdomen clenches.

“You want to cum all over mommy’s tits, yeah? Make me proud?”

“Unng…” He moans in response, hips bucking forward to slide his leaking tip across your lips. He whimpers when you pull away, your smile twisting when his stomach clenches again.

You massage his firm thighs, gliding over every ripple of his muscles and over to the patch of pubic hair above his cock. When you pass your hands over his belly button, you stretch a palm up towards his face.

“Spit.”

The mole beneath his lips appear as he gathers as much saliva as he can produce on his tongue and spits into your palm. There are some traces of blood in your palm but you pay no attention to it as you place your saliva-coated palm over his cock and make a fist around the length.

“Mo-mmy,” he throws his head back, the shower head coming down his flushed pecs. Your fist begins to move slow but tight around his hardness. “It feels so good. Fuck…unng, mommy…please…”

Jungkook can cum just from your warm breath hitting his leaking tip but he doesn’t. When you lean forward and take his entire length in your mouth, tongue stretched as far as you can as you press your nose against his pubes, his jaw drops. You’re warm, wet, and fuck, so tight.

His other hand combs through your hair, reaching underneath the nape to pull your head back until your half-lidded eyes can watch his skin glisten.

With your hands back on his thighs, Jungkook expects you to move. What he doesn’t expect was you to tighten your throat before swallowing with his entire length in your mouth.

“Fuck!”

You gag around him but repeats, breathing through your nose before letting your whimpers and cries vibrate his cock. He’s about to lose it, his tightening grip causing your scalp to burn.

“You’re so pretty, mommy,” he pulls his length back just slightly to let you suction him back inside. When his entire length is warm and pulsing in the back of your throat, you swallow once more and begin moving up and down, your eyes closing as Jungkook backs your head to the tile and fucks your mouth at a steady pace.

“Wanna cum in your throat, all over you, inside you. God, you’re so perfect.” He chants, abdomen clenching when your throat tightens just right over his pink tip.

You hum, hands trailing behind his thighs and up to his firm cheeks to push him forward. His grip tightens once more when he whimpers your name, over and over again, his cock driving into your mouth with a vigor that’s bound to leave your throat sore in the morning.

The first spurt of his warm cum hits your uvula and you cough just as he slides out of your mouth and pumps himself into his fist. Watching his creamy cum dripping down the corner of his mouth intensifies his high, prompting him to burst onto your shoulder blades and over your wet breasts. He doesn’t wait for you to catch your breath before he pushes you down onto the tile, moving away the wet jeans to a corner before finding safety between your legs. His arms, on either side of your head, allows him to prop himself up to lead his tip towards your entrance.

He’d forgotten all about cleaning the blood on your neck when you’re spread for him, your hands cupping his face in admiration. Your eyes and nose are still puffy and red, but he knows the blush on your cheeks come from your need to have him deep inside until you can feel him against your cervix.

“I love you, noona. So, so much.”

You hiss slightly when he pushes inside, your snug velvet walls engulfing his cock and keeping him where he belongs. His body bows in servitude to the goddess that is you.

“I love you too,” you huff, brushing your fingers over his sculped cheekbones and mandible. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You let him take you there despite how painful it was to bear him pounding into your walls with the intent to ruin. You’re not sure how long you lay on the tile, how many times he came inside, how sore and painful your insides will be when he’s done. It was never-ending – how Jungkook muffles your wails and whines, how he pumps his cocks while pressing your shoulders down to bury himself deep, how exhausted you are by the time he’s pushing his cum back into your swollen hole. The last orgasm triggers tears to seep from the corner of his eyes which Jungkook kisses away as he reaches up to the shower cloth and waits for you to fall limp before running the soapy cloth along your body.

You’re freezing cold despite the hot water still coming down onto your boyfriend’s body and, from there, onto you. He’s quick to clean you up and wrap you in the same towel he had laid over you the first time you used his studio shower. You can barely move as he carries you to the bed and lays your damp body on the fresh linen. You can hear the sound of him ripping open a thin menstrual pad and placing it in a pair of fresh panties he fished from the shared armoire closet. He slips the panties up your legs, lifting your hips to pull the fabric over your buttocks, flashing his usual charming grin when you murmur a thank you.

He pulls the towel from your body and squeeze out as much water as he can from your long tresses, careful not to tug. It wasn’t ideal to him that you’ll be sleeping with wet hair but you’re beyond exhausted and, to be frank, he is as well. At least he’s heading to bed satiated.

Jungkook slides under the blankets and brings your body closer by your waist. He groans into your neck, his body immediately softening as the warmth of your skin and the blanket brings him the peace and comfort he craved.

“Kookie?”

“Hm?”

It takes a heartbeat for him to sense your sudden anxiety. “…I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?” He manages to ask although sleep is weighing heavy on his eyelids.

“I don’t know.” You murmur.

Jungkook is too tired to remember if you said anything afterwards for he falls deep into slumber. As for you, your head won’t let you sleep despite your body pleading for rest. Every part of you can feel Yori’s heavy body in the freezer just several feet away. You’re not sure how you’re supposed to feel about tonight or if tonight should have happened in the first place but in Jungkook’s arms, you can’t find the smallest ounce of pity for the woman.

You close your eyes, snuggle closer into his firm chest, and try your best to pretend nothing will change. You try to forget the flash drive sitting in your bag, the possible evidence your mother may have left behind in the villa, the corpse in the garage. Most of all, you try to forget how Jungkook looked at the bottom of the staircase, slipping the corpse inside the black plastic trash bag with such ease that makes you wonder if he had done this before. He surely must have, that voice inside of your head says but you wave it away.

I don’t know.

You lied to him. For the first time in your relationship, you lied without guilt. You do know why you’re scared and it’s not because after tonight every knock on the door will cause your heart to pound.

No. It’s because you know your boyfriend – your sweet, loving boyfriend who cries watching romantic comedies on Sundays – is truly capable of murder.

[caesaryoulater]

Christmas in New York

Bucky Barnes x F! Librarian Reader - Musician AU

Rating: 18+ only, because my blog is, but there’s nothing explicit here

Word count: 777

Summary: Bucky takes you on a trip to New York

Content: Nothing major I can think of. This is mostly just tooth rotting fluff.

A/N: This is my submission for Writer Wednesday. A huge thank you to @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ for all their hard work! It’s connected to my For the Record series. I don’t think there’s anything too confusing if you haven’t read (I’d appreciate if you did, though!). This takes place after the (still unfinished) main story line.

Masterlist

“Sorry, we couldn’t find a better tree that fits in the apartment,” Bucky sighs. Finding a tree was last minute. The two of you had been out shopping and realized you never decorated. The last couple months have been a whirlwind. First you and Bucky had just started talking moving in together. The plan was to wait until his lease was up then he’d move into your place. Then he got the opportunity to record some of the solo stuff he had been working on in New York.

You remember when he had told you the news. He was so excited. And as excited as you were for him, your heart dropped. Moving in would be put on hold. You assumed you wouldn’t see him for a bit. He was quick to assure you it would only be a couple weeks. And while it’d be over Christmas, you had plenty of vacation time at work. Before you knew it you were in New York. Staying in an apartment a friend of his had subleased to you.

“It’s cute. Especially now that we have it decorated and have presents under it.” You kiss his cheek and set the last wrapped gift under it. Some of them wouldn’t get opened until you returned home. They were things you picked up while you were shopping in the city. Mainly for Bea because Bucky couldn’t resist. He probably would’ve bought out FAO Schwarz if he could. You could already see the “seriously?” stares from Steve and Peggy. The tree was one of the last of the smaller ones on the lot. The only other tree that’d fit the apartment had been a true Charlie Brown tree. You appreciated this had a little more life to it. Really, though, it was more about the experience. Walking around New York. Going to the tree lot. Drinking cocoa. All with Bucky. You hadn’t imagined your life being like this and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not a traditional holiday at home. Or a more aesthetically pleasing tree. Your relationship had never been traditional, why should your holiday celebrations? You were excited to wake up Christmas Day, make breakfast, open gifts, and stay in enjoying each other’s company. No distractions from friends or family. It's your first Christmas together and you’re glad you can spend it just the two of you. He stops you from walking away, pulling you to him. His arm around your waist keeping you close. “I know this probably isn’t your ideal Christmas, but I’m glad you came.” “What isn’t ideal about it? I’m in New York with the person I love. On vacation from work. It’s perfect,” you respond, punctuating your sentences with kisses. He grins and leans in for another kiss, lingering. You wrap him in a hug, face nuzzling into his chest. “As perfect as this is, I can’t wait until we get home. Our home.” The sound of that was like music to your ears. Finally, you’ll get to start your life fully together. Something you used to not be sure would ever happen.

Bucky squeezes her tighter. The trip has been amazing so far. He’s finishing up music he’s proud of with her right there with him. A big part of why he had the courage to go after it in spite of everything. He didn’t imagine he’d go solo. That anyone would want that from him. Especially with how disastrous the break up and tour had gone. And as great as this trip as been, he still couldn’t wait to get back to real life. Their home. They had done a quick move in before leaving. Basically just bringing in boxes to sort and put away when they got back. Luckily with being on the road then at Steve’s he didn’t have a ton of stuff. He didn’t bother doing much with the apartment, hoping it was temporary. He stares over at the wrapped box he plans on giving to her Christmas morning. The larger one concealing the much smaller box inside. The one that he had to sneak to the jewelry store to buy after recording one day. And hide in the bedroom with the door locked to wrap. The one that he had been planning since before moving and the trip came up. He had every intention on making their home truly theirs, making the trip and their first Christmas something to remember. “What’cha thinking about?” Her voice pulls him back to reality. “How much I love you,” he kisses her forehead. “I love you too. Now how about we order some delivery and watch The Grinch?”

[starcrossedkaiju]

Kingslayer AU: Chapter One

Finally! I’m sorry this took so long, I’m a nervous wreck.

Notes: this was originally a warmup for character interactions/setting. It is very dialogue heavy.

\\ Warnings: alcohol //

A single tumbleweed was all that crossed Scott’s path when he arrived in the Red Desert. It was rather comical, he stood and watched it roll away until he couldn’t see it through the sheets of sand blowing over the ground.

In the distance, the only mountain located in the desert biome loomed over the horizon. Imposingly backlit by the red, swirling, tendrils of the world border. Most residents kept away from the thing, as it was meant to give off an unsettling aura. Although Scott never minded it. The wall of his room was almost right up against it after all.

On top of the mountain was a barely visible “castle”, which looked as if it was built by someone wearing a blindfold. The inhabitants of the castle, and the aptly named “Monopoly Mountain” could be accurately described as menaces.

Clumsy when it came to forward thinking, and leaving hidden traps around so frequently that traveling through any wooded area required either a very long stick, or someone willing to take the business end of a TNT trap for the team.

They also happened to be Scott’s nearest allies. It hadn’t always been pleasant between them, but circumstance led to circumstance, and now Scott was making his semi-weekly visit to Monopoly Mountain to shoot the breeze.

Typically the only person at the base would be Grian. Scar liked to make himself elusive by causing problems elsewhere and returning late into the evening with a story to tell over dinner.

The base of the mountain was void of a bubble-elevator. To reach the top one must climb an absurd amount of stairs. Scott huffed and resigned himself to the task in front of him.

As his perspective grew higher and higher the rest of the map revealed itself. The roof of Joel’s house peeked over a swathe of trees, and the tall barricades of Dogwarts stood out as a stark silhouette against the sky. Scott took a few minutes to regain his purchase, shielding his eyes from the whipping wind.

The season was gradually descending into winter. Made obvious by the deciduous trees’ leaves choking out the last of their green pigment for fiery shades of red and orange. The weather was far less pleasant to endure. Everywhere outside of the Red Desert had to deal with bitterly cold conditions, although there hadn’t been snow yet, the sky churned with a constant overcast. Threatening to storm at the drop of a coin.

Scott rubbed his arms to fight off the oncoming chill and continued his ascent, hoping someone had installed a fireplace since the last time he visited.

Finally he rounded the last of the stairs and gazed up at the tall, thin roof of the Sand Castle. The Red Desert flag strung on the tallest rooftop flapped around in the wind. Pizza, the pet lama, grunted in Scott’s direction when he approached the front door. He hesitantly reached out to pet her (she bit him once and he’d never fully gotten over it) from over the fence of her pen, and she let him rub her fluffy bangs.

Scott knocked on the door three times and gave Pizza one last pat, anticipating someone to open the door. It would be a shame if he’d hiked all the way out only for nobody to be home.

Thankfully, the door swung open with a welcoming screech of it’s hinges.

“Hey dude,” Grian welcomed him from the front steps.

“Hey,” Scott greeted in return, “may I come in?” he asked.

“Of course! It’s freezing out here,” Grian replied and stepped away from the door, which slammed with a squeak behind the two of them.

Scott closed his eyes and waved to the resident enderman, who greeted him with a friendly, distorted “hello”. A furnace was running to warm the living room.

Scott took his coat and hat off. He draped them over the arm of the couch before swatting a layer of sand from the cushion and sitting down, observing the scene in front of him. There was always something going on in there.

This time, a myriad of blueprints were strewn across the floor. Each of them depicting heavily annotated structures and what looked like plans for redstone. Grian had planted himself on the floor with a pencil, and was furiously erasing a line of text.

“What’s that?” Scott pointed over his shoulder.

“These,” Grian held one of the outlines up to the other’s face, “are the blueprints for our secret bunker,” he explained.

“You hear that? Secret Bunker, so don’t go telling anyone about it m’kay?” He tapped the paper with the end of his pencil.

“Okay, fair enough. Is that redstone?” Scott slid another sheet of paper towards them with his shoe.

“Yup. I’m gonna equip it with a lava trap,” Grian said proudly.

“And this one will work?” Scott teased.

“Hilarious,” Grian pushed the other’s shoulder, “yes it will work, it’s going to be my best yet,” he assured.

“Oh good! That’s not a very high standard to meet then,” Scott congratulated.

“Blah, blah, blah,” Grian mocked back, “you better be careful what you say with twenty five reputation points,” he said.

Scott threw his hands up in surrender, still laughing at how the other man’s ears turned red.

The house fell into a comfortable silence after that. The sound of scribbling and wind served as a calming ambience. Scott intermittently shared a few words with the enderman, who seemed to understand more of what Scott said to him than the other way around.

“Hey, Grian?” Scott turned over on the couch to face his friend.

“Yeah?” The other said without looking away from his work.

“Do you think you would have still been friends with Scar if he hadn’t died from that creeper?” Scott asked.

There was a pregnant pause, then Grian said, “I don’t know. I never thought about it,” he doodled absently on the margin of his paper.

“Hm,” Scott replied halfheartedly. He mainly asked because whenever he visited Grian was alone. If they were even home at all. Other than that him and Scar were always attached at the hip.

“Why?” Grian asked in return.

“I don’t know, forget it,” Scott waved him off. Not wanting to get into it.

“When’s he gonna be back?” he asked instead.

Grian sat up and stretched his back, “uh, I don’t know actually. He said he went to gather resources but you can never really count on him doing what he says he will,” he explained.

“You didn’t go with him?” Scott asked.

“I don’t want to babysit him anymore. If he gets in trouble that’s not my problem,” Grian said. He stood up and wandered over the the kitchen, carefully avoiding the blueprints on the floor.

“Ha! I would drink to that one, Jimmy is the same way sometimes,” Scott replied and watched as Grian contemplated the contents of their cooler, reaching in and pulling out a bottle of red wine.

“Well then, let’s drink to it,” he held the bottle up with a grin.

“Where did you get that?” Scott vacated the couch and made his way over to his friend, taking the bottle and studying it, “I haven’t seen the fruit of the vine in years!” he recalled.

The bottle had clearly been tapped into before, although not much was absent from its contents.

“I have my ways,” Grian rummaged around in a cabinet and pulled out two glasses.

“I would say it’s too early for this, but for once, it’s five o’clock somewhere,” Scott uncorked the bottle with a satisfying pop and poured each glass a third of the way.

Grian cleared his throat, “To the safety of our stupid partners,” he raised his glass.

Scott nodded in return and connected their drinks with a polite clink, then they drank to the sentiment.

The conversation traveled to the dining table, which was more of a booth. Talking points ranged from preparing for winter to future plans to expand their bases.

“I’m not going to get anything done with the weather coming on,” Scott complained over his drink, “I don’t handle the cold very well,” he downed the last of it.

“Well you can always move in with us for the season, the attic is vacant,” Grian offered.

“Never in a million years. I’d rather be sick at home than spend a week living with barbarians,” Scott refused the offer.

Grian rolled his eyes, “it is not that bad,” he defended himself.

Scott raised an eyebrow and shoved his hand in between the cushions of the booth. Pulling up a handful of sand, which he deposited on the table.

“We live in a desert! What do you want us to do about it, of course there’s some sand in here,” Grian threw his hands up.

“Some?” Scott repeated.

“Okay,” Grian glanced under the table and shuffled his foot around, which scraped across a layer of sand, “a lot of sand,” he corrected himself.

“Get a vacuum. For the hundredth time, get a vacuum,” Scott demanded.

“We have a broom that works perfectly fine,” Grian stood up and opened a linen closet to reveal a single broom leaned up against the wall.

Scott didn’t comment on it, but he had a feeling that broom never left the closet.

The conversation was effectively halted when the front door screeched open, letting in a gust of wind and sand. It blew a few papers off the floor and scattered them around the living area.

“Hey,” Grian called out, “Scar? You back?” he asked.

“Yeah,” came from the front of the Sand Castle.

“Okay! We have company by the way,” Grian prefaced.

Scar’s head poked around the doorframe, he waved at Scott who returned the gesture.

“What have you guys been up to?” He inquired at the sight of the wine on the counter.

“Just hanging out. It gets a bit lonely up here you know,” Grian closed the linen closet and took Scar’s backpack from him. He opened it and looked at the contents.

“Oh, you actually did what you went out to do,” Grian revealed a bundle of wood from the bag.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Scar crossed his arms.

“Never mind, go wash up. I assume you’re hungry,” Grian opened a pantry and took some spices out, “are you staying for dinner Scott?” he asked.

Scott leaned out of the booth to check the time on the clock above the door, “mmm, yeah why not. I’m already here,” he decided.

“Let me just page Jimmy and tell him I’m gonna be home late,” Scott patted all his pockets but found no sign of his communication device.

“Hey Grian? Can I use your pager?” he requested.

Grian fished around in his back pockets and pulled out his pager, tossing it towards the other who caught it with both hands. Scott thanked him and flipped the screen up, selected the address he needed to contact, and typed out a short message. Making sure to say it was from him and not Grian before sending it to Jimmy.

“What’re we making?” Scott asked once he finished, intent on trying to help in the kitchen.

“Well, it’s Spaghetti Friday,” Grian declared and revealed a bag of Rigatoni pasta.

“That’s a thing?” Scott inquired, taking the bag and examining the packaging. It was pretty simple, mostly cardboard with a plastic window. Presumably from the village on the other side of the map.

“We’ve gotta have some fun around here, come on now Scott,” Grian said.

“You’re right, how can I help?” Scott said. Grian side eyed him.

“You can add the salt when I say you can add the salt,” he offered. Scott crossed his arms.

He wasn’t that bad at cooking. He’d only burned a few things, smoked the house out for three days once, and set scrambled eggs on fire.

“That one time was just a rookie mistake,” Scott retorted. It’s not like he did it on purpose.

“A rookie mistake that almost burned your flower forest down. I wouldn’t let you near the kitchen if I was Jimmy either,” Grian set a pot down on the stove.

Scar came back in the kitchen then, and was pulled into it almost immediately.

“A man can’t even sit down in his own house without his culinary skills being put up for debate?”

Grian laughed at him, sliding the pot under the water pump.

“That’s not an answer at all! Can you or can’t you?” Scott demanded to know, holding a salt shaker.

“I can cook,” Scar’s gaze wandered into thought, he started counting on his fingers, “pasta, assorted vegetables, mac and cheese, cornbread, mashed potatoes, and I can bake a half decent carrot cake,” he recited.

“I worked in a supermarket before the borders. We made some of our own stuff for the bakery and the buffet,” Scar said. It was the first mention he made of what he did back when things were normal. At least to Scott.

Scott was pleasantly surprised. He nodded, seeing as he’d been given a satisfying answer.

The spaghetti went off without a hitch, Grian was surprisingly good at making it. Scott had the sense that he’d done it many times before.

“Remember, you can put the salt in but you can’t take it out. Here taste the sauce and tell me if it’s alright,” Grian fished a spoon from a drawer and handed it to Scott.

“Hmm,” the other pondered after trying a spoonful, “maybe a bit more salt?” he suggested.

A window was propped open to let the steam and heat out. It was getting dark now, and the world border stood out against the purple hues of night falling over the server. The brightest stars made themselves known to the east as the sun set to the west. It was peaceful, the wind had died down. Scott wondered if anyone else was watching.

Personally, he enjoyed stargazing a lot more. His servermates knew next to nothing about the cosmos, which made him wonder who was teaching them about the greater universe. Clearly they’d never been out there.

“Yo,” Scar called him out of his trance. He handed the other a ceramic bowl.

“Thank you,” Scott said and waited to serve himself.

The spaghetti was pretty good. Decent meals were hard to come by, especially with the limited resources outside of villages.

Over the course of dinner, Scar explained his excursion of the day. He had been gathering wood to stockpile for the winter months (no wood in the desert, better to have a source available and not have to hike out and get more constantly) when he came upon Etho’s base.

“It’s entirely made of wool,” he recounted.

Grian raised an eyebrow in confusion, “All of it? Why?” he mused.

“Dunno. There was nobody around,” Scar replied.

“You didn’t steal from them did you?” Scott interjected.

“Not this time,” he said, which earned him a jab in the ribs from Grian.

The three laughed it off and switched the subject to current server affairs. Who had the best gear, everyone’s respective allies, the phantom problem, and the pros and cons of a vacuum.

“Well, I would say this is a fine work of spaghetti,” Scar complimented when he was finished.

“Indeed, couldn’t have done it without Scott. The best salt dispenser among us,” Grian agreed.

Scott tried to look offended but couldn’t repress a smile. He stood up, about to take his bowl to the sink; but Scar insisted that he was the guest, so he handed over his dish and sat back down. Preparing his “i’m out of here” pleasantries.

He settled on, “Well, I’m out of here,” after a few more minutes of banter.

“Okay! Thanks for keeping me company dude,” Grian gave Scott a hug as thanks.

“My pleasure,” Scott replied.

Scar offered to accompany Scott back to the Hobbit territory, but he refused.

“No need Scar, you’ve been out all day. I’ll be fine,” he assured as he adjusted his hat and jacket for the chilly walk home.

“Alright then, let me walk you out,” Scar proposed instead.

Final waves and good wishes were exchanged and Scott started back down all those stairs. It was quiet, save for the gentle buzz of the world border which sat right against the Red Desert.

Lost in thought for most of the journey, Scott traveled into the dark canopy of leaves. There weren’t many mobs out due to the moon being in its Waning Crescent phase. Scott rubbed his hands together and shoved them in his pockets, wishing he’d brought his mittens.

As he crossed over a clearing, an arrow whizzed over his shoulder. Scott ducked down in surprise, turning around and expecting to see a skeleton, but there was nothing there except a dreadfully dark bank of trees and a vacant plot of land.

Scott squinted into the darkness.

Then the handle of a weapon was brought down on the side of his face, and all the lights went out.

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Jeon Wonwoo

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Wonwoo isn’t huge on affection and aegyo, so when he does approach you with affection, it’s always special. He’ll make sure to make you feel as loved as possible as he knows there are times when you want a little more from him.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

The two of you met through a couple of the members at an event and naturally got talking. Wonwoo was incredibly shy, and so were you, which ended up being the perfect catalyst to get the two of you talking with each other throughout the whole event, much to the joy of the others who were watching you.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

Love at first sight wasn’t something that Wonwoo believed in, but he wasn’t far off it with you. As the two of you got to know each other more after the event over weeks, Wonwoo knew that he was falling for you. After a couple of months just enjoying each other’s company, Wonwoo ended up confessing to you whilst you were out and exploring one afternoon in the middle of nowhere, mainly to stop you thinking you were lost.  

D ⇴ DATES 

The two of you would often spend your days indoors with each other, Wonwoo wasn’t someone who was huge on going out and exploring things. He loved using your dates as a time to relax with each other, he’d often set up his games console so that the two of you could play together. Other times, your dates would just be spent laid together with a book in hand, and maybe takeout beside you, peaceful, but still knowing that each other was there which was just what the both of you wanted.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

The concept of love wasn’t something that Wonwoo necessarily believed in, so he never worried about dating. However, when he met you, he began to understand a little more about love and why people always used to tell him you’d know when you found the one. He was still skeptical for quite some time, but with the more time that he spent with you, the more he allowed himself to open up to the idea of falling in love and suddenly having one person take up such a huge part of your life.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

Wonwoo has one of the softest hearts in the world, and fighting will be an absolute nightmare for him. When the two of you argue, he’ll get very shy and quiet, he won’t ever really know quite what to say. He’ll usually listen to everything that you have to say and wait until you’re done to take the chance to defend himself. Once you’ve both said how you feel, Wonwoo will usually be the one to try and put things right and continue the discussion until you can both find a point that you agree on to move past what you initially disagreed on.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Being able to introduce you to his family was a huge deal for Wonwoo. They often worried that he wouldn’t want to find himself a partner because he didn’t trust in love , so to be able to show you off and let them see how happy he was around you meant a lot both to him, and to them as well.

H ⇴ HOME 

The two of you were very lucky that Mingyu was so understanding of you both which meant the dorm was often your home. But Wonwoo also loved to spend time at your place too. He often worried that the boys would be a bit of a burden for you, even if you always tried to assure him that they weren’t.  

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

When Wonwoo beat you at your favourite game, he suddenly said those three special words to stop you getting mad at him. He didn’t even think before he spoke, but he trusted in his heart and that it had made the decision to speak up. You were surprised to begin with, but when he said it again, you finally realised that he’d meant to say it all along.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

There weren’t many times when Wonwoo would get jealous, he wasn’t someone to cause a scene if there was a person around who wanted to speak to you. But, there was very much a line as far as Wonwoo was concerned, and if someone overstepped it, he’d certainly be a little more protective. He was shy to a point, but when it came to protecting you and making sure that you were safe, a wave of confidence would often wash over him to remind him that he was your boyfriend and that he had to be there for you.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Having a family was something that Wonwoo had never really considered before he met you. Without love, he knew there was a small chance of having a family, but just like how he began to believe in love, he began to believe in kids and a family of his own too. He’d often find himself drifting into daydreams about what your future together could look like, but he’d never let himself runaway too far just yet.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

The two of you could often be heard by the other members giggling away to yourselves. Neither of you were loud, but you shared a very similar sense of humour which would often leave the others clueless as to what you both found so funny. Wonwoo’s laugh would always put a smile on your face, neither of you had to be doing anything, but as soon as you’d hear just the smallest sound of a giggle, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself Ron laughing too. Laughter was the thing that brought Wonwoo out of his shell more than anything when he met you, and really was the sign that made you realise that he was comfortable around you.

M ⇴ MISSING 

No one would ever know when Wonwoo was missing you, he’d very much keep it to himself. Mingyu would usually be the only one who would be able to tell when something was wrong, but even then, Wonwoo would be very reluctant to tell him. Usually, Mingyu would end up getting in contact with you to tell you what was going on and how he was closing off, and ask if you’d try and give Wonwoo a call or a text. As soon as he saw your name pop up, he’d leave the room, which was also the definitive sign to the others that he was missing you, even if he’d always say no whenever any of them asked.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

Wonwoo tended to just call you ‘jagi,’ as he much preferred traditional nicknames for you. It was something that would always roll off the tongue for him, he wouldn’t even need to think, whenever he addressed you, it would come.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He was obsessed with your voice, it was very comforting for Wonwoo when he could hear you beside him or listen closely to whatever it was that you had to say to him.

P ⇴ PDA

Affection in public wasn’t something that Wonwoo was huge on. He was smart at reading situations however, and if he felt like he needed to hold your waist or pull you a little bit closer, he’d do it without second thought to make sure that you were safe with him. Other than that, he’d often hold your hand in public too.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Wonwoo was quite a fan of discussions with you and talking about random things about the world. He’d often ask you what you thought of a random topic to spark a discussion between you both and find out more about you and your views, especially at the start of your relationship.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Your game dates at home became such a frequent occurrence that the two of you turned it into a bit of competition. Whoever lost the most at the end of the month would end up buying something for the other person that they wanted. The two of you loved that they added a bit of competition to your evenings, and especially enjoyed when you won for the month and had to get the other to buy you some thing.

S ⇴ SEX 

It took a little while for Wonwoo to feel comfortable with you in a intimate capacity. To begin with, he was shy and worried about not doing a good enough job for you, however over time, as he began to learn more about your body and the things that you enjoyed, he found himself relaxing a lot more. Once he knew how to make you feel good, he became a lot more confident and self assured around you too.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

The two of you didn’t tend to text much as Wonwoo much preferred to call you so that he was able to hear the sound of your voice. If you didn’t pick up his call, he’d try again and again until eventually he heard you answer.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Wonwoo never saw himself as boyfriend material until he met you. He never imagined that he’d enjoy falling in love as much as he did with you, but then he never really trusted love as a whole until he met you.

V ⇴ VACATION 

Any free time that Wonwoo had would usually end up being spent at the dorm too. He enjoyed being in his own space and bubble, and best of all, he enjoyed being able to stay home with you whilst you still went out to work in the day. The only difference was he’d be there waiting every night.  

W ⇴ WHINING 

Whining wasn’t something that Wonwoo tended to do, if he didn’t have your eyes on him then he’d patiently wait until he got them again.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Wonwoo much preferred to kiss you then he did to cuddle you. He’d often use his height to be able to reach a part of your body that you never thought he could from the position that he was stood in. Whilst he wasn’t huge on affection, he was a big fan of kisses and how easily they were both to give to you, but also be received from you. He’d often stand before you and drop subtle hints that he wanted a kiss from you.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were a first for him for so much, and hopefully the last too.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

You’ll often end up having to push Wonwoo into bed at night. You’ll usually spot him starting to stare and become distant, refusing to stop annoying him until he finally caved and allow you to put him to bed.

---

Masterlist

[xiaomoxu]

Lucien’s Mind Quest: Craving

SPOILER ALERT!!

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 

Exclusive Radio

Xu Mo: A Ming, be more concise when submitting reports in the future. Your ability to refine key points needs to be strengthened.

A Ming: Yes, I understand.

Xu Mo: I'm not in the institute next week and will go to another place.

Xu Mo: If you have anything, you can talk to me over the phone.

Xu Mo: Do you have any other questions?

A Ming: Professor, isn't it... from the media who wanted to interview you again?

A Ming: Recently, there have been more reporters outside the Institute, and they all want to interview you about the Kolavo Prize.

A Ming: Even I feel a little troubled

A Ming: Fortunately, you have chosen this period of time for vacation, which is indeed a good thing.

Xu Mo: Not because of this reason.

Xu Mo: I just think that some time ago, I always seemed to be busy with work. Now is the time to give myself a vacation.

A Ming: Do you just want to take a vacation?

Xu Mo: Do you need other reasons?

A Ming: No, no, I just feel a little surprised.

A Ming: After all, from last year until now, professor has almost never been out of the institute except for normal vacations.

A Ming: I feel like you're all focused on work...

Xu Mo: Maybe it is a bit too immersive.

Xu Mo: So this holiday, I want to spend more time with people around me.

A Ming: Oh, I understand why the professor went to another place for vacation.

A Ming: Don't worry! I will never disturb you! Happy vacation, professor!

Xu Mo: You are now very good at refining the point.

A Ming: Hehe...

Xu Mo: Well, it's a date.

🍁

MIND'S QUEST

The traditional style hotel room is warm and dry.

I changed into a yukata, sat on the tatami, took a deep breath, nervously opened the news that popped up on the phone one-

"The announcement of the Kolavo Prize list has been postponed. Can the genius scientist Xu Mo set the record for the youngest winner?"

The bold and enlarged headlines are very eye-catching.

Postponed? I froze for a moment, and hurriedly clicked on the details to quickly browse.

"... Today, the authoritative awards in the scientific community, the winners of the Kolavo Life Science Award, are about to be announced, which has attracted great attention at home and abroad."

"The innovative work done by the scientist Professor Xu Mo in the field of brain science has therefore become the most popular candidate for the award."

"However, according to relevant sources, the selection criteria for

this year's awards have changed compared with previous years, and it is not ruled out that there will be more powerful competitors."

"The Kolavo Prize official also announced just now. Because of the big differences within the jury, the winner list will be postponed to the afternoon..."

I slid the screen, frowning tighter and tighter. Because I was so focused, I didn't even notice that someone was coming towards me.

??: Why are you still watching these news?

Xu Mo said that he put the blanket in his hand on my lap, and his eyes scanned my phone screen.

Xu Mo: A certain someone invited and told me to take vacation and relax....

Xu Mo: But from the way here to now, you have always stared at your phone from time to time.

He paused, with a little dissatisfaction and grievance in his tone.

Xu Mo: Is Professor Xu in this news more attractive to you than Professor Xu in front of you?

I was stunned for a moment and hurriedly turned off the news interface.

MC: Of course not! I just saw this news and clicked in.

MC: And... I mainly watch the weather forecast.

My eyes wide open, try to make your words more convincing.

MC: You see, the snow is so heavy today, the hotel owner also suggested that we can go to the outdoor hot spring again tomorrow.

MC: However, according to the weather forecast, the snow will decrease later. So maybe there is still a chance!

Xu Mo pondered for a moment, laughed faintly, and nodded.

Xu Mo: Well, it seems I misunderstood. It turns out that you have fully considered it

MC: Of course. It is rare that we all have vacation, but I am looking forward to this trip.

This is indeed the truth.

Lately, Xu Mo and I were so busy that we sometimes didn't even have time to have a meal together.

So this time I chose a hot spring hotel specially, just want to stay in the room with him and spend this time peacefully.

I raised my head, took Xu Mo's hand, and shook it lightly.

MC: You have been busy with scientific research some time ago, and you didn't have much time to rest.

MC: Leave the travel arrangements to me this time, you just need to relax and enjoy.

Xu Mo: Alright.

Xu Mo curled his lips slightly. The thin sunlight from outside the house fell on him, coating him with a soft light.

Xu Mo: Then... I'll leave it to you?

MC: Hm! Leave it to me.

I glanced at the time on my phone, my heart moved, and then I gathered my mind and raised my head and said to Xu Mo.

MC: Now that the luggage has been put away, go and change your clothes!

Xu Mo nodded and walked towards the door. I took the opportunity to secretly pick up the phone, intending to continue reading the news that I just turned off.

Xu Mo: By the way, there is one more thing.

MC: Wh- What?

Unexpectedly, Xu Mo suddenly turned around, and I quickly hid the phone behind me with a guilty conscience.

Xu Mo's eyes flicked back and forth between the phone and me. He seemed to have something to say, but he just chuckled.

Xu Mo: Nothing, just want to tell you...

Xu Mo: This trip with you, I also look forward to it very much.

While Xu Mo was changing clothes, I quietly walked outside the door. As I planned, a waiter came here on time with a rectangular wooden box.

Waiter: Miss MC, the lady boss asked me to give you this. Please keep it.

Waiter: As for the other item you ordered, because it needs to be made right now, the snow is too big for the driver to drive down the mountain to get it. Please forgive me.

MC: It’s okay, you've work hard, so please tell my thanks to the boss.

I took the wooden box in her hand and returned to the room, with a burst of complicated emotions in my heart.

This is a gift I prepared before I set off. Originally, I had calculated the time and planned to give Xu Mo a surprise when the results of the Kolavo Prize came out.

But I did not expect that due to changes in the selection criteria, the announcement of the award list was delayed, which disrupted my original plan.

I looked at the wooden box in my hand, and a result I had rarely imagined before popped up in my head, just in case...

The heart sank little by little. It seems that it is still unknown whether this celebration can be conveyed to him...

Xu Mo: What are you thinking?

I followed the sound and felt a little startled.

Xu Mo was wearing a dark yukata with a large collarbone exposed under the loose collar.

He relaxed, leaning against the door frame, and he looked a little more casual and relax.

His eyes fell on the wooden box in my hand, showing some curiosity.

Xu Mo: What is this?

MC: Well, this is...

Just as I was thinking about how to explain to him, a ringtone interrupted our conversation.

Xu Mo: ....Yes?

Xu Mo: ....Hello?

Xu Mo's tone was light, but his expression was a little more serious. The news that I just saw on my phone flashed in my mind, I couldn't help feeling a burst of tension in my heart.

Xu Mo: I'm sorry, I'm on vacation, I'm afraid I don't have time for this.

Xu Mo: Next time you have the opportunity to cooperate again.

After he said this lightly, he hung up the phone. I was caught off guard by the crisp and clean action.

Perhaps seeing me looking at him in confusion, Xu Mo said first without waiting for me to speak.

Xu Mo: It's the call from Huanqiu Weekly.

I opened my eyes slightly.

Huanqiu Weekly is an established weekly magazine in China. It mainly reports on international issues and major events. All have great influence within the scope.

MC: Do they want to cooperate with you?

Xu Mo: Well, they want to give me an interview.

MC: Really?! Isn't that great!

Hearing news that I was not worried about, I couldn't help but let go, and placed the wooden box on the closet next to it.

MC: Such an influential weekly magazine, if you accept their invitation, you can let more people know about your research results.

Xu Mo was stunned for a moment, and the corners of his lips curled upwards.

Xu Mo: Why do you want more people to know?

MC: Because...maybe for many people, your scientific research results are just a bunch of technical terms that seem very obscure.

MC: But I know, a lot of your hard work has been condensed behind it.

MC: Even with the aura of a "genius scientist" above your head, your effort and persistence are no less than anyone else.

As I spoke, the moments that I had experienced with him flashed in my mind.

He will put the experimental reports that have spent months of energy into the shredder one by one just because of a certain data error;

Because I finally got the desired result, I was so happy that I could not hide it, and even some childishly suggested that I wanted to go to a movie with him to celebrate.

I smiled at Xu Mo and said to him in a joking tone.

MC: So, I want to be rewarded for your efforts. This is probably my selfish intention.

Xu Mo looked at me quietly, and a certain soft emotion melted in his eyes bit by bit. After a while, he suddenly chuckled helplessly.

Xu Mo: Silly.

He stretched out his hand and took me into his arms.

Xu Mo: I declined the invitation.

MC: Huh? Why?

Xu Mo did not answer, but chuckled lightly.

Xu Mo: Do you want to know what my selfishness is?

Xu Mo: Although you always tease me about my time and energy as if I can't use it up, in fact they are also limited.

Xu Mo: I have to stay and spend them on the person who are most important to me.

He paused, rubbing the top of my hair with his chin.

Xu Mo: This is our vacation, of course I just want to share it with you.

My heart seemed to be hit by something. Feeling his familiar body temperature, I only feel that the slightest warmth suddenly enters my heart.

I couldn't help but put my hand around Xu Mo's back, eagerly trying to get closer to him and let this moment stay longer.

MC: Yes, me too.

Looking across the wooden box on the cabinet, I closed my eyes and gradually made a decision in my heart.

  🍁

MC: Xu Mo, the belt of your yukata seems a little loose

I saw that Xu Mo had a loose belt around his waist, so I subconsciously reached out to help him tidy it.

MC: This seems doesn’t work...

MC: Let me tie a knot for you again!

After speaking, I undid Xu Mo's belt again, planning to tie it again.

Xu Mo: It seems that you are already very skilled.

Xu Mo's voice with a smile rang in my ears.

I raised my head and met his gaze. Only then did I realize how close we are now.

MC: W-well, when the waiter helped me wear it, I learned a little bit from her.

MC: Moreover, the way that girls wear yukata is more complicated than the boys.

MC: So it's not very difficult to tie your belt.

I lowered my head, trying to hide my blushing cheeks.

Xu Mo: It turned out to be so.

Xu Mo nodded, then opened his arms and let me put his cloth.

Although I tried my best to concentrate on the movements in my hands, the sniffles on my neck still made me a little distracted.

The delicate atmosphere filled us, I pursed my lips, and when I was about to say something, Xu Mo spoke first.

Xu Mo: I didn't notice just now that there are still a few lines written on the hanging paintings here.

MC: Eh?

I looked up and followed his gaze to the wall behind me, where there were traditional paintings one by one.

The red leaves all over the sky fell on the clear spring water, like flames burning in clusters, smeared with warmth and warmth.

I didn't pay much attention when I entered the room before, but now I look closer and realize that there are still words written on it.

Just when I was about to identify it carefully, Xu Mo had already read it out softly.

Xu Mo: " The long-lasting God is acting on behalf you, and I never heard of it"

(“悠悠神代事,黯黯不曾闻” Yōuyōu shéndài shì, àn àn bùcéng wén)

Xu Mo: " The maple dyed the Long Tian River, gurgling and flowing deep"

(“枫染龙田川,潺潺流水深 ” fēng rǎn lóng tiánchuān, chánchán liúshuǐ shēn)

Notes: I put the original sentence of the poem, afraid that there’s mistranslation since I’m not familiar with it.

MC: I seem to have read these sentences before...

MC: It seems to come from a very famous love song?

I turned my face and looked at Xu Mo with a questioning look. He nodded lightly.

Xu Mo: Well, it is indeed a very emotional sentence.

Xu Mo: I think it is probably because Valentine's Day is approaching. In order to set off the atmosphere, the proprietress of the hotel arranged such a hanging picture in the room.

Xu Mo: And look at the writing above, it should have been added not long ago.

Hearing Xu Mo's explanation, I looked at the hanging painting again.

MC: I didn’t expect the proprietress of this hotel to be so careful, I thought it was just a landscape painting.

MC: It turns out that there is such a “careful” chance hidden.

I tried to felt the emotions contained in the lines. This painting, which was originally used for decoration, seems to have a deeper meaning because of this poem.

Just as my attention was all attracted by the hanging paintings, Xu Mo's voice suddenly rang in my ears.

Xu Mo: Although the painting is really beautiful

Xu Mo: But, have you forgotten something?

His gaze fell on the belt in my hand, and I followed along and realized that I was still finishing Xu Mo's yukata.

His yukata was hanging loosely on his body at this time, and it was even more exposed. The low neckline is wider, and the skin is exposed.

The heat on my face couldn't help but rise a little more.

MC: .. I will continue!

After finally suppressing the fast heartbeat and refastening Xu Mo's belt, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

I raised my hand to help him straighten the low neckline, but found that this yukata was actually designed like this.

MC: Is this, this neckline originally opened so wide?

Hearing my visibly smaller voice, Xu Mo first glanced at his clothes, then a clear smile spread across his mouth.

Xu Mo: Well, that's it when I put it on.

Xu Mo: Moreover, as far as I know, the men's yukatas offered by this store are all of this style.

MC: Strange, I saw that the model wears on the official website before...

MC: Is this also what "Valentine's Day Special Offer"?

In order to cover up my inner fluctuations, I deliberately said in a ridiculous tone, and Xu Mo also chuckled cooperatively.

Xu Mo: Well, it is possible.

He blinked, as if thinking of something, then bent down and leaned in my ear and said softly.

Xu Mo: I guess..

Xu Mo: This is probably, a little bit “careful”.

🍁

On the tatami, Xu Mo and I are sitting opposite each other.

He took the sake out of the wooden box, opened the cork, and slowly poured it into a special vessel.

Xu Mo: No wonder today I saw you and the hotel owner whispered a few secretly...

Xu Mo: Why do you suddenly want to give me a gift?

My heart moved slightly, but on the surface, I still took the stubbornly.

MC: It's not a sudden intention, this is part of the arrangement of this vacation.

MC: Take it as a reward for Professor Xu who worked hard this year!

Wanting to get around this topic as soon as possible, I pointed to the Sake bottle and looked at him invitingly.

MC: I heard that this brand of sake is well-known locally.

MC: I was worried that it was too popular, but I asked the proprietress to order it from the Sake store half a month in advance!

A smile filled Xu Mo's narrow eyes.

Xu Mo: In order to live up to your intentions, I have to taste it.

After speaking, he picked up the Sake glass and took a sip.

MC: How?

Xu Mo: It has a slight sweet taste and is delicious.

MC: That's good! A drink in the snow can warm your body.

Suddenly, my mind flashed through the scenes of Xu Mo drinking before and couldn't help but add.

And its degree is not high. You can rest assured that you won't get drunk if you drink in moderation.

Xu Mo raised his eyebrows.

Xu Mo: It seems that I have been underestimated.

He seemed to inadvertently pour some more Sake into the glass, and then drank the whole glass leisurely.

Xu Mo: I have been tried sake before, but I was not drunk.

MC: I remember I heard you mentioned it on the phone.

Hearing him mention it again, a sense of curiosity arose in my heart.

In my impression, Xu Mo almost never drinks alcohol, but prefers tea.

MC: Why did you suddenly want to drink?

Xu Mo: Well... let me think about it.

Xu Mo put down his Sake glass, propped his head with one hand, and looked up at the red leaves in the courtyard behind me.

Xu Mo: It was when I was studying. In order to celebrate the project with the classmates.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: Feeling surprised?

Xu Mo's eyes overlapped with me for a moment, and then he continued.

Xu Mo: At that time, I cooperated with my classmates on a very challenging scientific research project. After about a year and a half of research, I finally got the ideal result.

Perhaps thinking of the scene at that time, Xu Mo sighed softly.

Xu Mo: They were so happy that they had to take me to the tavern to celebrate...

Xu Mo said helplessly, but the corners of his mouth curled up unconsciously.

I rarely seem to see him celebrating his achievements, and the temporarily suppressed thought in my heart is revivedㅡ

I also want to accompany him to celebrate and witness the moment when his efforts bear fruit.

Chaotic emotions spread across my chest: anticipation, tension, and a little anxiety...

Xu Mo: Wandering again.

Xu Mo tapped my forehead. I recovered, and smiled apologetically at Xu Mo.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, and after looking at me for a while, he suddenly spoke.

Xu Mo: I suddenly remembered that they also taught me a game at that time.

MC: What game?

Xu Mo: I will show it to you.

I watched with interest as Xu Mo picked up an empty cup and put it upside down on the table.

Xu Mo: The game is very simple. We take turns to pat this cup or choose to take it away.

Xu Mo: If the cup is taken away, the other person will make a fist and knock on the table. Knock on the cup or shoot on the table is a loss.

MC: This game seems to test the reaction ability...

Seeing me as if I don’t understand, Xu Mo smiled.

Xu Mo: Well, but it is not difficult. You should have learned it after we played a game.

Xu Mo: Want to try it?

MC: Yes!

I eagerly nodded my head. Xu Mo's eyes turned, and a meaningful smile appeared on his lips.

MC: ....

MC: This unscientific!

I took another sip of Sake in frustration. Facts have proved that the so-called "not difficult" of this game may only be aimed at Xu Mo.

In addition to testing his reaction ability, during the game, he always seems to know what I am going to do next, and foresee every movement of me in advance...

MC: You are almost like "mind reading"...

Faced my complaint, Xu Mo just smiled slightly

Xu Mo: Maybe it's just because I know you too well.

Xu Mo: So sometimes, your every move seems not to hard to guess .

He didn't seem to realize how blushing his words were, so I had to mutter quietly.

MC: This is too unfair...

Xu Mo: Well, you also try to focus all your attention on me, how about it?

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo dragged his face with his hands, tilted his head and looked at me.

Xu Mo: Perhaps this strategy will be more effective.

The heartbeat speeded up uncontrollably, and for a while, I couldn't tell whether he was teasing me or was serious.

But facing the current one-sided game situation, for the slight possibility of a comeback, I decided to try.

The new round soon began. I followed Xu Mo's words and stared at him intensively, hoping to see a trace of flaws in him.

And Xu Mo's mouth always had a slight smile, as if he was in a good mood.

It was my turn to take the cup. I noticed that Xu Mo's brows suddenly wrinkled. With a movement in my heart, I decided to change my tactics and took the cup away.

MC: ...!!

Xu Mo: I lost.

Xu Mo looked at our folded hands on the cup and sighed slightly

Xu Mo: It seems that I was too careless...

Xu Mo: This strategy should not be told to you lightly.

His voice showed faint grievances and regrets, and then he took the Sake and drank it in one go.

MC: Is it really so works?

I was a little dazed by the sudden victory.

Although I'm not sure if there is a reason for luck, I just raised my lips and jumped for joy when I finally caught this flawless person.

Next, the entire game seemed to be exceptionally smooth to me. I didn't expect that one day I could win Xu Mo so many times, and the smile on my face got bigger and bigger.

Until Xu Mo was fined another glass of Sake, looking at his reddish ears and the corners of his mouth, I suddenly noticed something.

I put away my smile and walked up to him, acting as if I was asking my sins.

MC: I almost fell for some big liar again!

Xu Mo's eyes moved slightly, and then he stretched out his hand towards me.

Xu Mo: What's wrong?

He looked at me and blinked a bit innocently.

Xu Mo: Why are you so angry? Did I do something wrong?

I laughed angrily by the way he knew it, and couldn't help squeezing his hand.

MC: Are you letting me win again?

Xu Mo did not answer immediately, but gently hooked my finger, and then wrapped it into his palm.

Xu Mo: Who said I let you?

Xu Mo: I am willing to lose to you.

He stretched out his hand, scraped the tip of my nose, and a smile burst out from the corner of his mouth.

Xu Mo: Finally I can see you smile without burden.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: From morning on, you look worried.

Xu Mo: Although I plan to not ask too much before you tell me. But I thought about it, it’s not easy to keep you in my heart

Xu Mo: I guess the thing that bothers you should have something to do with me, right

He thought a little bit.

Xu Mo: Was it the news you saw this morning?

Seeing Xu Mo's determined expression and thinking about his behavior just now, I suddenly understood something in my heart.

MC: So you proposed to play games with me, also to relax me?

MC: I can't hide anything from you

Xu Mo chuckled lightly, wrapped my hand into his palm, and deliberately asked in a joking tone.

Xu Mo: Tell me about it, how did the "Professor Xu" on the news bother you?

I was amused by him. Seeing that what was hidden in my heart had been exposed, I simply decided to confess.

MC: Actually... This bottle of sake was originally a gift to celebrate your prize. But I did not expect that the award list would be postponed.

MC: Although I still want to celebrate with you, but if the result is not good, I worry about you will be disappointed.

MC: So it has not been said.

After saying this, I took a long breath and felt that it was a lot easier.

MC: But now I also think that compared to these, we should cherish our time together more.

In order to show my determination, I picked up the phone on the table and turned it off without hesitation.

MC: Now I can't get distracted!

Xu Mo's eyes flickered, and then he turned off the phone just like me. He put his arms around my waist and raised his head slightly.

Xu Mo: Then we can say that, from now on, don't let anyone bothering us.

Xu Mo: Nobody can.

Seeing him add another sentence seriously, I couldn't help laughing.

MC: However, it is indeed my fault that I was always distracted before. Next, we can make up for this time.

Xu Mo: Hm? How do you plan to make up?

I looked outside and raised my eyebrows at him.

MC: Didn't you notice? The snow outside is getting smaller.

Xu Mo was a little puzzled, but he reacted quickly, and the corners of his lips curled up in a beautiful arc.

Outside the house, the original heavy snow in the sky turned into fragments of snowflakesㅡ

It fell lightly in the hot spring that was continuously rising, and melted silently.

After eating, Xu Mo and I were walking on the stone road in the courtyard. We could hear the gurgling water in our ears.

MC: It seems that the weather forecast is right, the snow is really much smaller.

Xu Mo: Hmm, but are you drunk? Actually, we can come later.

MC: Don't worry, I am fully awake.

MC: And I checked it online before, and two hours after a meal is the best time to soak in the hot spring!

Xu Mo just wanted to say something, but suddenly stopped. He stared at the hot spring pool in front of him, and his eyes flashed with surprise.

I followed his gaze to the open-air hot spring in front, and my eyes widened.

MC: This is...

I was surprised to find that there is no barrier between this private hot spring surrounded by stones.

  🍁

MC: Strange, I clearly remember that the pictures I saw on the website before were separated by wooden boards.

I looked at the hot spring pool, my ears were getting hot. Thinking of two people in the same hot spring, I can't help but feel a subtle sense of tension.

Just when I was about to say something to break the awkward atmosphere, Xu Mo's voice suddenly sounded.

Xu Mo: .. I'd better go back to the room first.

Xu Mo: I'll come back when you finish.

MC: Hm?

I subconsciously raised my head. Xu Mo still had a gentle expression, but his eyes did not look at me.

Is it...

Am I the not only one who is nervous?

Looking at the steaming hot spring, I involuntarily swallowed my saliva, emboldening myself in my heart.

MC: Now that you have changed your clothes... let's go together.

In the hot spring pool, Xu Mo was sitting opposite me, the water just covered our chests

Xu Mo: Does the water feel hot?

I looked up, my eyes swam disobediently from his bare chest to the collarbone, Adam's apple and thin lips, and then I didn't dare to go up again.

MC: No, just right.

I shook my head, suppressed the excessively fast heartbeat, and sat down a little bit, submerged my shoulders in the warm water, and couldn't help but sigh.

The snowflakes fell on the face one by one, bringing icy coldness sense of touch, but the body and mind are steaming hot, and finally melts in the heat.

Xu Mo flicked his hand across the hot spring, and there was a sporadic sound of water. He closed his eyes, raised his head and leaned against the rock wall.

Xu Mo: I suddenly remembered that the last time we took a hot spring, it was the same as today with snow in the sky.

MC: Well, I remember too.

There was a movement in my heart, and I couldn't help but remember the time when I wished Xu Mo's birthday a warm feeling came from the bottom of my heart.

MC: It seems that many of my good memories about the snowy days are spent with you.

Xu Mo slowly opened his eyes, and there was also a layer of chlorinated water vapor on his eyes, and the curvature of the corners of his lips seemed clear and moving.

Xu Mo: For me, it's not just the snow.

The gurgling water and his voice merged together, and fell into my ears through the mist.

Under Xu Mo's gentle gaze, it seems that the distant memories in my mind are being warmed up little by little.

Perhaps he had been watching for too long, and my throat was a little dry. My gaze fell to the side of the tray floating on the water, which was filled with wagashi and hot tea.

Wagashi are traditional Japanese confections that are often served with green tea, especially the types made of mochi, anko and fruits.

I picked up the teacup and took a drink. Obviously it's not alcohol, but it makes me feel a little drunk.

I patted my slightly hot face, trying to stretch my body, but my foot inadvertently touched Xu Mo's leg.

Xu Mo: ....

MC: .....

The breath and heartbeat went wild in an instant. In the pool water, it seems that every part of the body has become more sensitive.

I subconsciously looked at Xu Mo, his eyes flickered, and then faintly looked away, and picked up another teacup on the tray.

Xu Mo: The tea smell is very strong.

MC: Hm..

MC: This opportunities are rare. Why don't we "replace Sake with tea" and clink a glass?

As soon as I finished speaking, I bit my tongue viciously for the proposal I blurted out.

Xu Mo's hand holding the teacup seemed to shake. He looked at my red cheeks curiously and chuckled uncontrollably.

Xu Mo: Well, it's a good proposal, but...

Xu Mo: Clinking glasses is usually for celebration. What are we going to celebrate now?

I was asked all of a sudden. While thinking, an idea flashes over my mind.

MC: To celebrate...

Xu Mo: If you say anything like "Celebrate your winning in advance", I will be a little disappointed.

MC: Ha..

This person definitely has mind-reading skills!

I looked at Xu Mo's smiling eyes through the white mist, and my lips curled up.

The fine snow slowly fell, and the water in the pool was clear, but not as bright as his eyes. I suddenly felt everything in front of me, something unreal like a dream.

Such a good person is now opposite me, right in front of my eyes, drinking a tea with me and sharing the same snowy color.

Until I saw Xu Mo's eyes clearly reflecting my figure. I suddenly felt that this moment has already surpassed everything.

So I said almost subconsciously.

MC: Then celebrate the moment we have.

Under the misty surface of xenon hydrogen, the skin we touched lightly rubbed inadvertently.

The clear touch brought up bursts of electric current, causing ripples in my heart. I no longer stagger my eyes as before, but quietly stare at Xu Mo in front of me.

His Adam's apple slid, and a white warm mist made his dark eyes sparkle with water.

I suddenly had an illusion, as if Xu Mo could look straight into my heart through the hazy mist.

After a while, he chuckled lightly.

Xu Mo: Is it just for now?

MC: What?

Xu Mo didn't answer, but suddenly got up and leaned toward me. The chest that had been submerged was also exposed at this time.

The warm and slightly hot from hot springs steamed his skin a little red, and the water rippled and then fell again.

I touched the ground with my feet a little nervously, but a little unstable due to the buoyancy of the water, Xu Mo held my waist with one hand in time.

I raised my head and slowly looked at the line of Xu Mo's jaw, my fingertips sinking into the tight muscles behind his shoulders.

His hand slid across my back, tightening me up a little bit, and I unconsciously put my hand on his shoulder and against his chest.

MC: Xu Mo..

The light lines of the water wave healed our chest and back. Xu Mo lowered his head, his lips were close to my ears, his voice was stained with a low voice.

Xu Mo: What I want to say is, not just celebrating this moment. But...

Xu Mo: For every moment we have.

There seemed to be a touch of nothing on the earlobe, as if clusters of flames were lit from there.

The tea cups collided with a crisp sound.

Xu Mo took a sip of tea, pinched my chin and pressed it down

Seeing his face getting closer and closer, I can no longer care about the others, I can only instinctively close my eyes

Feel the numb touch on the lips, and the sweet tea fragrance reverberating in the mouth.

🍁

With a splash of water, Xu Mo got up and walked out of the hot spring pool.

Xu Mo: During the meal, our clothes were left out and dampened by the snow. I will go back to the room to get the clothes we changed in the morning.

MC: Wait, I'll go with you.

After I finished speaking, I stood up, Xu Mo stood there, his eyes stopped slightly when he looked at me.

I followed his eyes and looked down, the wet towels were tight clings to my body, clearly outlines the lines, dripping continuously.

A cold wind blew, and I seemed to have noticed something, so I hurriedly sat back.

MC: So cold...

Xu Mo laughed lightly, then nodded.

Xu Mo: Well, it will be a little cold if you just walk back.

Xu Mo: So, wait for me here, okay?

I touched my slightly hot cheek, smiled and nodded at him.

MC: Alright  

When Xu Mo returned with the clothes, I was eating the wagashi on the tray. He couldn't help but smile when he saw me.

Xu Mo: Are you hungry?

MC: A little. You see, these fruits are so delicate.

I pushed the tray towards him, Xu Mo squatted down and looked carefully.

Xu Mo: Well, indeed.

Xu Mo: I once heard a very skilled master say that wagashi can express anything, whether it is natural or human.

MC: Really?

Hearing his words, I put my arm on the rock beside the pool and curiously observed the wagashi in the plate.

MC: This is a special wagashi for Valentine's Day. I don't know if there is anything special.

Xu Mo: I think there should be.

Xu Mo also leaned down slightly and observed with me.

Xu Mo: Maybe we can guess by using our imagination?

He smiled and twisted one of the wagashi.

It looks relatively ordinary among the different shapes of fruits. The round shape is like a small steamed bun, but on the top. Covered with a circle of yellow marks.

Xu Mo: The surface of this fruit should be deliberately roasted to brown

After watching it for a while, Xu Mo handed it to me.

Xu Mo: Did you think of something?

MC: Hmm.. the yellow circle.

MC: Like a full moon?

I raised my eyes to look at Xu Mo, and he curled his mouth slightly, motioning me to continue.

As if being woken up, I looked at this seemingly inconspicuous wagashi, and seemed to understand the intention of the person who made it.

MC: The moon is a very important image in love and can be used to express many kinds of emotions...

MC: So it seems that this fruit really fits the theme of Valentine's Day.

Xu Mo: Have a taste?

Looking at Xu Mo's eyebrows, my heart moved slightly, so I leaned over and bit the fruit in his hand.

The sweetness melted in my mouth, and I was pleasantly surprised to see the red fillings of the wagashi under the white skin.

MC: It's red bean paste...

There seemed to be a trace of surprise in Xu Mo's eyes. After a while, he nodded thoughtfully.

Xu Mo: Specially choose red as the filling...

Xu Mo: Probably because the person who created it wanted to express the sincere emotions between lovers.

MC: It turns out that wagashi can really express people's feelings...

Seeing such an emotional Japanese fruit, a burst of soft emotions creeping in my heart, I subconsciously asked Xu Mo.

MC: You have a bite too?

As soon as I finished speaking, I suddenly remembered something, so I immediately changed my words.

MC: But you don’t like sweets so much, so it’s mine!

I stretched out my hand to take the wagashi from his hand, but Xu Mo suddenly pulled his hand

MC: Uh?

Seeing my puzzlement, he chuckled lightly.

Xu Mo: I really don't like sweets very much.

Xu Mo: However, I still want to taste such beautiful food.

MC: But...

Before I finished speaking, I saw Xu Mo's face enlarged before my eyes.

He put his hand behind my head and leaned down. In the blink of an eye, there was a warmth on the lips.

The scorching breath fell on the face, itching and numb, dispelling the coolness in the air.

The thick snow on the edge of the pool turned into melted water droplets and fell into the water, arousing small splashes.

After a long while, Xu Mo released his hand behind my head, with a slight smile on his mouth.

Xu Mo: Well, it's sweeter than expected.

🍁

After soaking in the hot springs, Xu Mo and I walked slowly back to the room. As soon as we opened the door, we stopped in unison.

A fancy "citation cake" was placed in the center of the table.

Under the two big letters "Certificate" written with red chocolate, there are also dark chocolates with a row of small letters one by one.

"Best Scientist Award".

Xu Mo raised his eyebrows and glanced at me leisurely. I coughed slightly awkwardly.

MC: Ahem. If I said that the waiter sent the wrong room, would you believe it?

At this time, the door was pushed open again, and the waiter put two knives and forks on the side of the tray.

Waiter: Miss MC, you are back, is the hot spring still comfortable?

Waiter: This is the special cake you ordered. Because the snow was a little smaller, the driver was asked to go down the mountain to retrieve it. Please enjoy.

The waiter cast a "won't disturb you" look, then bowed and walked out. After a short silence, I heard a chuckle.

MC: Well. This is actually another gift I originally prepared to celebrate your winning.

MC: I always feel that at this time of celebration, we still have to eat cakes to have more atmosphere.

MC: Although the appearance is a bit exaggerate, the taste should be good.

Xu Mo chuckled and nodded.

Xu Mo: Well, I believe this cake must be delicious. and.….

Xu Mo: I am also sure that you really care about this.

He paused for a while, then took out his mobile phone leisurely and turned it on.

Xu Mo: Since you want to know so much, let's watch it together.

MC: What?

Xu Mo: Don’t you really want to know the results of the awards? I remember the news you saw in the morning saying that the announcement should be postponed to the afternoon.

Xu Mo: The time should be right now.

MC: But...

Seeing his calm movements, my eyes widened, but I looked more nervous than him.

Xu Mo: If you don't let you know now, you will keep thinking about it.

As soon as his voice fell, with a few minutes of reminder sound, countless messages flooded into Xu Mo's phone.

Looking at his cell phone that kept vibrating, my heartbeat speeded up. Xu Mo seemed to be a little surprised by it.

Xu Mo: A Ming, sent fifteen text messages and made six calls.

He frowned slightly.

Xu Mo: It seems that I told him to be good at "focusing" things, but he doesn't take it seriously.

MC: ....

MC: I also question the way you "focusing" at this time!

Xu Mo tapped the screen twice until everything was calm again, but there was no expression on his face.

MC: How?

I looked at him with anticipation and ambition.

After a moment of silence, Xu Mo suddenly leaned over to me, buried his head in the socket of my neck, and let out a light sigh.

Xu Mo: ....

My heart jumped suddenly.

MC: No, it doesn't matter...

I just feel my brain is blank, and my words become stumbling.

MC: It may be because the selection criteria have changed this year. They have to take other factors into consideration.

MC: And this is their loss! You are so powerful, they will definitely regret it in the future!

Xu Mo: Is it?

MC: Yes!

I replied categorically, as I was about to continue speaking, but suddenly caught a murmur of laughter, and then I was surprised that something was wrong.

MC: .. Why are you lying again!

I straightened up from Xu Mo's arms at once, but he grabbed my wrist with a smile, and pulled it into his embrace again.

Xu Mo: Where am I lying.

Xu Mo: It seems unfair to say that.

Xu Mo: I didn't seem to say what the result was.

Seeing the successful smile in his eyes, I bit my lip unwillingly. After thinking for a while, I had an idea, pretending to be angrily and got into the blanket beside me.

Although the news of Xu Mo's award made the corners of my mouth almost fly into the sky, I still constricted my smile and adjusted my tone of voice.

MC: I'm so nervous, but you still want to tease me!

MC: Originally, apart from Sake and cake, I also prepared a third gift for you. Now I have to consider it!

The low laughter in the ear was suddenly paused.

I secretly laughed and counted down silently in my heart, 3, 2, 1 until the last number fell, I really felt a pair of hands hugging me from behind.

Xu Mo: Sorry, because you looked so cute just now, I couldn't help but want to tease you.

Xu Mo: So, can you tell me what the gift is now?

Xu Mo waited for a while, but when he saw that I still didn't answer, he suddenly coughed.

Xu Mo: (cough)

Xu Mo: It seems to have been outside for too long and some have caught a cold

I listened to Xu Mo's deliberate coughing. I was startled first, and then laughed uncontrollably. I didn't expect him to think of such a childish way.

Hear my laugh, Xu Mo also laughed.

The arms around my waist tightened a bit, and when he spoke again, his tone became more serious.

Xu Mo: MC.

Xu Mo: Actually, I don't value this award that much.

My heart beats, this is the first time I heard him say that

Xu Mo: Because all the things I wanted to obtain were obtained the moment the research results were published, or even earlier.

Xu Mo: Any praise from the outside world, to me, is nothing but brocade icing on.

His voice paused, as if thinking of something, and then he smiled softly.

Xu Mo: However, everything you did for me today, I am very happy

Xu Mo: Whether it is a gift to me or your sincere words to me, I really feel how important I am in your heart.

Xu Mo rubbed my forehead with his chin across the blanket

Xu Mo: I feel happy, nervous, or even sad from the bottom of my heart

Xu Mo: Probably there is only you silly girl.

The soft words fell in my heart, and there was a drop of water.

Xu Mo: I think the reason why I always can't help teasing you, maybe it's just because I want to see you more and show off because of me.

Xu Mo: In a certain way, I can also be regarded as a special "collector".

Xu Mo: No matter what kind of meal it is, I want to have it.

Xu Mo: With that said, can you forgive me?

The delicate tenderness was sewn on him slightly, I still did not answer, but responded to him with action.

I lifted the blanket and kissed Xu Mo's face with his surprised eyes.

I ran my fingers across his fine hair and stopped on his face. Then I pulled him tightly and tightly toward me.

Heavy breathing sounded in the room, as if confused, I kissed his cheek closely and pressed against his auricle.

MC: I am not angry, you are a fool..

I followed his ear bones all the way down, and after hearing a short gasp, I turned to a thin rub.

I don't know how long it took. When I met Xu Mo's eyes awkwardly, I later realized that I was extremely ashamed of my bold actions, and subconsciously shrank back.

But Xu Mo did not allow me to retreat. He put his hands on my waist together a few inches, pressed them to my forehead, and looked at me deeply with his eyes.

Xu Mo: Is this the third gift?

The thin, hot breath entangled, I panted lightly and shook my head.

MC: ....It is a promise.

I calmed down my breath and slowly said the words that had been brewing in my heart for a long time.

MC: I want to wait for the results to come out, whether you win or not, I will tell youㅡ

MC: In the future, I will stay with you and spend every memorable moment with you.

MC: Remember the flower with crystals you gave me?

MC: I think the same as you, every moment we walked together is very precious to me

MC: Although I can't make such a romantic gift like you, I can only express it in ordinary sounds.

MC: But this is my truest thought.

The evening wind slowly passed by, and behind Xu Mo, the sky full of red leaves fell. I felt in a daze that we at this moment are closer than ever.

Xu Mo lowered his eyes, looked straight at me for a moment, and laughed a little.

Xu Mo: MC's ability to talk about love is really getting better.

My cheeks suddenly became red when I met the narrow gaze in his eyes.

MC: I'm just talking to my heart!

Xu Mo: Yes, I know.

Xu Mo: I don't think what you said is ordinary. On the contrary, it means a lot to me.

Xu Mo: However, although I received such a beautiful promise, I thought about it for a while-

Xu Mo: When you say this, aren't you also sorting me out?

MC: !... I

Seeing that I was speechless for a while, Xu Mo smiled, his eyes moved down, and landed on my slightly opened lips. The emotion in the deep eyes is unclear.

Xu Mo: Sometimes actions are more explicit than words.

He raised his hand and squatted down my lips with his fingers,

Xu Mo: The sincerity contained in the promise, maybe in another way... can make me feel more directly.

He whispered, and suddenly raised his eyes to look at me, dark light circling in his eyes.

Xu Mo: Are you willing to?

The heat surged to my cheeks, and my mind was chaotic. In the next second, Xu Mo clasped my wrist tightly and pressed me on the tatami.

MC: Wh-

The soft tip of the tongue pried my teeth away inch by inch, and grinds together delicately and long. It seems to wear out all the heat and lingering.

While my consciousness was cloudy, I tasted the faint fragrance of tea that still remained in his mouth, but it was like a very high alcohol wine, which made me feel drunk.

His head raised passively. Xu Mo squinted his eyes slightly, and gradually reduced his strength by pressing my hand.

His fingers rubbed the skin on the side of my wrist gently and slowly, letting my body gradually relax

The surrounding temperature rose sharply, and I instinctively caught his neck and responded to his tossing and turning.

Just when I felt a little dizzy, Xu Mo let go of me, a familiar chuckle sounded in my ears.

Seeing that I was a little weak, Xu Mo held my waist and let me sit on him.

I rested on his strong abs with one hand, and grasped his messy clothes with the other weakly.

MC: Xu Mo....

I lowered my head and saw what seemed to be suppressed in his gloomy eyes, so I subconsciously leaned down and pecked his chin.

Xu Mo: ....

The light and shadow in Xu Mo's eyes flickered, his eyes darkened.

Before I could react, his hand that was touching my hair suddenly pulled me towards him and kissed me again.

Unlike before, this kiss was overwhelmingly aggressive.

The tingling sensation of the intertwined lips and teeth ran through my body like an electric current, and the blood seemed to boil.

With warmth in Xu Mo's palm, he shook all the way down my spine.

His senses and thoughts were all occupied by him, and in a trance, I felt the kiss gradually slip and strengthen.

There was a slight tingling pain from my collarbone, and I couldn't help but exhale softly, and there was a warm and humid touch.

A layer of fine sweat oozes out on the tightly adhering skin, giving it an intimate and sticky feeling. I inserted my hand into Xu Mo's sweat-drenched hair and looked down at him.

He closed his eyes, his concentrated face was stained with the color of red leaves.

His sight seemed to be burned to the point of nowhere to rest.

Perhaps because of my tension, Xu Mo's lips bend slightly. He lifted his palm up to cover my eyes.

Xu Mo: Close your eyes .

Extremely strong, but with extreme gentleness.

I slowly closed my eyes and surrendered myself to him. The last image remaining on the retina is Xu Mo deep eyes.

And a brilliant red.

🍁 🍁 🍁 END  🍁 🍁 🍁

I’m sorry if there’s some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) thank you for read it~ ^^